Limericks 11

You were first FarNorth?

The new Tesco ad is unbelievably clever
I watched it last night with my new partner, Trevor
Now we'll stock up at Tesco
For our meal alfresco

The new Tesco ad is unbelievably clever
I watched it last night with my new partner, Trevor
Now we'll stock up at Tesco
For our meal alfresco
You can join us,, so please come over.

And when meal is done we go can go for a run

And when meal is done we can go for a run
But with a full tum that won’t be so much fun

And when meal is done we can go for a run
But with a full tum that won’t be so much fun
Maybe we’ll wait for better weather

And when meal is done we can go for a run
But with a full tum that won’t be so much fun
Maybe we’ll wait for better weather
stay here and have a blether

And when meal is done we can go for a run
But with a full tum that won’t be so much fun
Maybe we’ll wait for better weather
stay here and have a blether
But we Can't go till dishes are done.

I've got a lump on my head, what could that be ?

I've got a lump on my head, what could that be ?
That's the bump of knowledge you see

I've got a lump on my head, what could that be ?
That's the bump of knowledge you see
Too much in there, trying to escape ??

I've got a lump on my head, what could it be?
That's the bump of knowledge you see
Too much in there, trying to escape?
That won't take long, you jape

I've got a lump on my head, what could it be?
That's the bump of knowledge you see
Too much in there, trying to escape?
That won't take long, you jape grin
When I catch them, we'll weigh and see!!

There's a woman I know, who has green teeth

There's a woman I know, who has green teeth
She is currently residing in Neath

(still trying to work out what blether means)

Oldandvg....I think it means blabber, chatter

There's a woman I know, who has green teeth
She is currently residing in Neath
I offered her some bleach

Thank you crazyH

There's a woman I know, who has green teeth
She is currently residing in Neath
I offered her some bleach
She said, “Please don’t preach”

There's a woman I know, who has green teeth
She is currently residing in Neath
I offered her some bleach
She said, “Please don’t preach”
"Yours stink worse than my feet"

The darn rain has kept me in all day

The darn rain has kept me in all day
Every time I looked out the sky is grey

The darn rain has kept me in all day
Every time I looked out the sky is grey
I pity those flooded

The darn rain has kept me in all day
Every time I looked out the sky is grey
I pity those flooded
Whose houses are mudded!

The darn rain has kept me in all day
Every time I looked out the sky is grey
I pity those flooded
Whose houses are mudded!
I hope the insurers are ready to pay

Had lazy day with nothing to do

Had lazy day with nothing to do
Cleaned out the cage of my cockatoo

Had lazy day with nothing to do
Cleaned out the cage of my cockatoo
Then lounged about with my tea

Had lazy day with nothing to do
Cleaned out the cage of my cockatoo
Then lounged about with my tea
And drank at least twenty-three

Had lazy day with nothing to do
Cleaned out the cage of my cockatoo
Then lounged about with my tea
Watched daytime TV