Limericks 11

It's way past 9, time to get up
Please someone, bring me tea, a large cup
And maybe a slice or two of toast
I say, you're a brilliant host
So sit down and chat while we sup.

It’s the start of the panto season

It’s the start of the panto season
Most are okay within reason

It’s the start of the panto season
Most are okay within reason
Ooh no they're not!

It’s the start of the panto season
Most are okay within reason
Ooh no they're not!
Ooh yes,hit the spot!

It’s the start of the panto season
Most are okay within reason
Ooh no they're not!
Ooh yes,hit the spot!
I'll go if they have Liam Neeson..

I'll have to carry my earmuffs with me

I'll have to carry my earmuffs with me
All that shouting's too loud for me you see

I'll have to carry my earmuffs with me
All that shouting's too loud for me you see
He’s behind you

I'll have to carry my earmuffs with me
All that shouting's too loud for me you see
He’s behind you
No! Not true!

I'll have to carry my earmuffs with me
All that shouting's too loud for me you see
He’s behind you
No! Not true!
The Dame and Buttons have gone out to tea!

So I'm sat here in my Sunday best

So I'm sat here in my Sunday best
Beneath it all there's my brand new vest

So I'm sat here in my Sunday best
Beneath it all there's my brand new vest
With popcorn balanced upon my knee

So I'm sat here in my Sunday best
Beneath it all there's my brand new vest
With popcorn balanced upon my knee
Enjoying myself but I need a pee

So I'm sat here in my Sunday best
Beneath it all there's my brand new vest
With popcorn balanced upon my knee
Enjoying myself but I need a pee
So please excuse me, sorry to be a pest.

A pantomime dame from Botswana

A pantomime dame from Botswana
Who went by the name of Dana

A pantomime dame from Botswana
Who went by the name of Dana
She was good at her job

A pantomime dame from Botswana
Who went by the name of Dana
She was good at her job
And was quite the heartthrob

A pantomime dame from Botswana
Who went by the name of Dana
She was good at her job
And was quite the heartthrob
When she did what she did with a banana!

It was really a joy to see

It was really a joy to see
And I nearly choked on my tea

It was really a joy to see
And I nearly choked on my tea
The banana's no good now

It was really a joy to see
And I nearly choked on my tea
The banana's no good now
I'd gone off it anyhow

It really was a joy to see
And I nearly choked on my tea
The banana`s no good now
I`d gone off it anyhow
Who wants banana bread, not me!

I once had a fancy for melon,

I once had a fancy for melon,
I called him that, but his name was Dylan

I once had a fancy for melon,
I called him that, but his name was Dylan
He played a mean guitar

I once had a fancy for melon,
I called him that, but his name was Dylan
He played a mean guitar
I swooned from afar

I once had a fancy for melon,
I called him that, but his name was Dylan
He played a mean guitar
I swooned from afar
And so did my friend Helen

Helen always liked the same men as me