Limericks 12

But sadly I must admit I lack talent
Though my husband tries to be gallant
He is very patient with me
Sits me on his knee,

But sadly I must admit I lack talent
Though my husband tries to be gallant
He is very patient with me
Sits me on his knee,
But really I think he is quite ambivalent

An elderly farrier from West Sussex

An elderly farrier from West Sussex
Loved to ride his huge shire hose called Bex

That should be HORSE. Can't type this afternoon.

An elderly farrier from West Sussex
Loved to ride his huge shire horse Bex
When it needed new shoes

An elderly farrier from West Sussex
Loved to ride his huge shire horse Bex
When it needed new shoes
That Bex would refuse

An elderly farrier from West Sussex
Loved to ride his huge shire horse Bex
When it needed new shoes
That Bex would refuse
Till he went and fetched her pal Becks.

For we girls are sisters under the skin

For we girls are sisters under the skin
White, black or yellow, we're all one kin

For we girls are sisters under the skin
White, black or yellow, we're all one kin
So empathy is there

For we girls are sisters under the skin
White, black or yellow, we're all one kin
So empathy is there
Together we share

For we girls are sisters under the skin
White, black or yellow, we're all one kin
So empathy is there
Together we share
Unless it's the new bottle of pink gin.

I'm having a pint and a pub lunch today

I'm having a pint and a pub lunch today
And then it will be a walk, rest and play

I'm having a pint and a pub lunch today
A change from my usual Chardonnay

I'm having a pint and a pub lunch today
And then it will be a walk, rest and play
A ten minute snooze

I`m having a pint and a pub lunch today
And then it will be a walk, rest and play
A ten minute snooze
To soak up the booze

I`m having a pint and a pub lunch today
And then it will be a walk, rest and play
A ten minute snooze
To soak up the booze
And I'm ready for the rest of the day.

I wonder if Dennis has gone back for good

I wonder if Dennis has gone back for good
Certainly not from my neighbourhood,

I wonder if Dennis has gone back for good
Certainly not from my neighbourhood,
He's hanging around I think

I wonder if Dennis has gone back for good
Certainly not from my neighbourhood,
He`s hanging around I think
To keep us on the brink

I wonder if Dennis has gone back for good
Certainly not from my neighbourhood,
He`s hanging around I think
To keep us on the brink
As long as he leaves us some food.

I'll think I'll venture out tomorrow

I wonder if Dennis has gone back for good
Certainly not from my neighbourhood,
He`s hanging around I think
To keep us in the brink
And my lovely Rowan's now firewood.

There was an old woman from Crieff

There was an old woman from Crieff
Who woke up and frightened a thief

There was an old woman from Crieff
Who woke up and frightened a thief
He'd lifted her telly

There was an old woman from Crieff
Who woke up and frightened a thief
He'd lifted her telly
And tickled her belly

There was an old woman from Crieff
Who woke up and frightened a thief
He'd lifted her telly
And tickled her belly
She lashed out and gave him such grief.

That Crieff woman was a martial arts champ