Versatile Verse 2

My golf swing is poor so I need to keep at it
Practice will help me get healthy so I'm not going to quit

I'll follow up with a walk by the river

I’ll follow up with a walk by the river
The footpath is narrow here so I’ll try not to quiver

As it widens out, the vista is stunning

As it widens out, the vista is stunning
Such a pity about all the cycling and running

Too busy jumping aside to appreciate the view

Too busy jumping aside to appreciate the view
Inconveniencing the many by the selfish few

Racing along at the speed of lightning

Racing along at the speed of lightning
Going so fast it's positively frightening!

Myself, I like a quieter pace of life

Myself I like a quieter pace of life
Sitting on the sofa with my kindly wife
Maybe we'll watch some TV tonight

Maybe we'll watch some TV tonight
But she's got the remote, so I hope she chooses right.

I really want to watch that football game

I really want to watch that football game
Everything on the TV is repetitively the same

I wish we had a new drama to watch

I wish we had a new drama to watch
Something exciting with a cast that’s top notch

A murder mystery or a legal thriller

A murder mystery or a legal thriller
Where I am the hero but who is the killer?

The village is silent, the sirens have stopped

The village is silent, the sirens have stopped
I put on the kettle and the plot I've just dropped

I'm now so bored I'm channel hopping

I'm now so bored I'm channel hopping
Why not get up and do some bopping?

Time to get up and start a new day

Time to get up and start a new day
Will anything exciting come my way?

Life is what you make it, so I'm told

Life is what you make it, so I'm told
Just get out there and DO it - be bold!

But my get up and go has now gone

But my get up and go has now gone
I need some advice from Gok Wan

Be proud of your bodies

Be proud of your bodies
Go through your wardrobe and dump all the shoddies

Lots of colour and plenty of glamour

Lots of colour and plenty of glamour
Drinking cocktails like Tequila Slammer

I could end up with Sex on the Beach

I could end up with Sex on the Beach
Or a glass of Bellini - flavoured with Peach

The bubbles race up and down the glass

The bubbles race up and down the glass
One more drink and I'll be flat on the grass

Please bring me a strong cup of coffee

Please bring me a strong cup of coffee
And a big bag of Thorntons best toffee

My glasses have slipped off my nose

My glasses have slipped off my nose
And landed on the grass by my toes

If I break them I’ll need to find the spares

If I break them I’ll need to find the spares
I think they're in a box under the stairs

But I can't see without them, so HELP!

But I can't see without them, so HELP!
I thought that this green stuff was Kelp

We went for a walk on the beach

We went for a walk on the beach
Two mothers with four children each

The wind it was blowing a gale

The wind it was blowing a gale
What about the boats about to sail?

I'd rather be on dry ground at times like this