EVEN MORE VERSATILE VERSE !

I’ll get rid of all the clutter and tat
Surplus to requirements? Won’t miss that!

A good spring clean can be most uplifting

A good spring clean can be most uplifting
Brush it under the carpet, that's all I'm shifting!

I'd rather drink gin and put my feet up

I'd rather drink gin and put my feet up
Make myself comfy to have a good sup

How I wish I had my own cleaner

How I wish I had my own cleaner
Someone with a friendly demeanour

A young man, perhaps, strong and able

A young man, perhaps, strong and able
Someone who can lift my large oak table.

I'm fed up of all this cleaning and polishing

I’m fed up with all this cleaning and polishing
The amount of chemicals is truly astonishing

Whatever happened to grandma’s beeswax

Whatever happened to grandma's beeswax
She had to use lots of elbow grease along with that

I'd rather laze in an armchair with a large gin and tonic

I'd rather laze in an armchair with a large gin and tonic
Shout at the TV and sound moronic

Perhaps I should join a discussion group

Perhaps I should join a discussion group
Or learn to fly and loop the loop

To learn a language would be good

To learn a language would be good
I can use words that are quite rude

My neighbours won't know what I'm saying

My neighbours won't know what I'm saying
'Cos they're from Peru and always out playing.

I could try learning to swear in Swahili

I could try learning to swear in Swahili
Just let my rude thoughts run freely

Who’d know what had a double meaning?

Who'd know what had a double meaning?
I could smile and still be polite seeming

But surely such rudeness would come home to roost

But surely rudeness would come home to roost
It really wouldn't give my ego a boost

Some people wouldn't want to know me

Some people wouldn't want to know me
Others will certainly want to show me.

The proper way to speak, the Queen's English

The proper way to speak, the Queen's English
Is to speak clearly but not be standoffish.

It's all in the way we say our vowels

It's all in the way we say our vowels
And, there's a right/wrong way to hang your towels.

Another line please crazyH

Shall I resume?

It's all in the way we say our vowels
And, there's a right/wrong way to hang your towels.

I try to be right but keep getting it wrong

Good idea henetha

I try to be right but keep getting it wrong
I'd sooner keep quiet and listen to the birdsong

The robin sings my favourite tune

Apologies ?

The robin sings my favourite tune
But sadly he flies away before noon.

So I turn on the crazy sounds of Radio 2

So I turn on the crazy sounds of Radio 2
And let my mind wander as it is wont to do

I think long and hard about my next approach

I think long and hard about my next approach
And while I am doing that I look for my brooch

It is my favourite - even if it's just bling

It is my favourite - even if it's just bling
It goes quite well with my favourite ring

Right now I want to see more sun