Gransnet forums


Gossip from around my way...

(118 Posts)
MissAdventure Fri 07-Feb-20 23:03:12

Just a silly idea for a game, which may not work out, but...

I thought I would tell you about my friend Mary.
Her relationship ended with that man she was so keen on, when she hid a rocket under his chair.

He went through the roof!

Mind you, the man before - the one in the brass band.
Well, she ended that..

She said he was always blowing his own trumpet.

Anyone else have any gossip from round their way?

vampirequeen Fri 07-Feb-20 23:59:26

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

merlotgran Sat 08-Feb-20 00:05:12


MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 00:07:25


Uncle Nigel is looking for a new job, he really doesn't get on with his boss at the butchers.

He says he's going to leave before he gets the chop.

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 00:08:29

That's really tickled me, vampirequeen grin

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 00:54:14

My BIL has a boomerang but he had forgotten how to throw it,

Then it came back to him

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:04:16

'Ye Olde Tea Shoppe' got rid of their new waitress you know.

Apparently she's a bit of a stirrer.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:07:29

The first time I got hold of the Universal remote control, I thought

Well, this changes everything.....

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:08:32


Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:12:11

There was a wedding in my village recently between to WiFi engineers, the reception was fantastic.

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:13:05

Cousin Angela had to throw her lodger out when she came home to find he was playing hypnotic music to her pet snake..


Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:14:14

Our local Italian restaurant had to close, the chef pastaway......

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:17:09

Its a shame when places close down. The paper shop has gone too.

Business folded.

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:20:57

Rita from number 13 isn't courting that circus clown now.

He kept getting really funny with her.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:21:06

A book just fell on my head

I blame my shelf

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:22:17

Next door told me that she recently bought a new toilet brush

Long story short, she says she’s going back to toilet paper

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:24:14

I got banned from that masochism club for having the wrong attitude.

Who cares? I'm certainly not going to beat myself up about it.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:26:47

My neighbour tried phoning the Tinnitus helpline, but she said it just kept ringing

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:28:24

The swine flu helpline is just as bad.
I phoned that, and all I got was crackling.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:28:45

I’ve been told I’m condescending

( that means I talk down to people )

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:30:48

Great aunt Hilda had a shock when someone broke in and stole her prosthetic limb.

They just legged it.

Oopsadaisy3 Sat 08-Feb-20 01:32:00

My step ladder is in the shed

I never knew my real ladder

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:32:45

Nobody knows except you, but I'm actually a qualified hairdresser.

I'll do yours if you want, but keep it under your hat.

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:35:52

Did you know the yoga instructors husband has been seeing some else?

She is furious. Well, she has bent over backwards for that man.

MissAdventure Sat 08-Feb-20 01:46:48

Remember the violinst from our local orchestra? They've got a new man in to do their finances and told him its "too much for him".

Personally, I think he was on the fiddle.