Miss Marydoll's Maths Class: Tuesday's, Tricky, Tantalising, Testing, Teaser.

Ok, that’s enough silliness, it’s not clever and it’s not funny. Can you see anybody laughing.? No, nor can I! The day you can explain a frontal adverbial, that’s the day you can start making smart remarks! Now, knuckle down I don’t want to hear a peep out of you until lunchtime. Otherwise, you will all stay in, and it will be your time you are wasting, not mine.
No you can’t go to the toilet, you are old enough to control yourself. This is the worst supply post I’ve ever had!

Please Miss I can't find my pencil.

Thank goodness you are here, Miss Scary aquagran
(Breathes a sigh of relief).

I can now get on with other more important things, like making my Kung Po chicken dish for school dinners.

I will be back later to check up.
PS, Miss Scary Supply, there is a bottle of craft gin in the bottom drawer. No tonic I'm afraid, I usually have it staright!

STRAIGT, no STRAT, I mean straight!

I apologise, I know how pedantic you can be. I'm afraid I've had a taster already. ??

Thank you Marydoll. I have my own hip flask in my supply kit, but, by the way this day is going, I will probably need your gin. Gin usually makes me cry, but this class is doing that already. The Telegraph crossword is in my raincoat pocket in the staff toilet if you would like to have a go at that- although your gin consumption might hinder you!
Trisher...don’t cross out, it makes your work look untidy. Use the class rubber on a string by Miss Marydoll’s desk.

You bin on the gin already, Miss?

Green = 105
Pink = 25
Blue = 80
Orange = 40

Please Miss I haven't got my crayons so I can't colour the squares in. An Miss that rubber made a hole in my paper.

Gawd we're in trouble now. Is this new teecher wot's been supplied reely the bearded dragon d'you fink girls ??

Come back Miss Doll pleeeeeese. We'll all be on our best beehaviear. Promiss. Wont we girls?

<frantically scrapes chewing gum from underneath desk and wipes all the porno drawings off the blackboard>

? ooh Deputy Dawg Miss is really scaring me with her strickedness!

Is that why they call gin Mothers Rueing? And I thought Miss was TeaTotel?

Where’s chewy when you need her? She promised to look after me and that supply teechr is so scary ?
bathsheba you can have my tube of smarties to make up for me etin your bikky. (also I’d rather Miss Scary found them in your draws than mine)

Miss Scary supply teacher can we try some gin stuff? It’s sposed to be good to try new fings. ?

At last, the scary supply Miss is here.
As quick as a flash, she tried to get the class to order
Notwithstanding all the silliness, she shouted 'Order, Order'
As fast as they could, the class all ran away giggling.

Was that good, MissSupplyTeacher?

#teacher'spet

Wotcher mean Doodle, 'try new fings'? Don't fink I avent seen you behind the boys bike shed sharing a bottle of Gordons wiv Jimmy in year 6!

Fanks for the smarties though, I'm going to careflee drop sum on the flore when Miss Scary walks passed and hope she skidds on them and gos flying. Serve er rite.

Made it! What's this I hear? Whew! We did it Pantglas! We spooked the bearded "Snapdragon"! Trisher, not to worry.....You can always change the colors on the squares to match your answers.

Everyone else.....I'll leave you to it, while I put on my
Drinking Thinking cap and post my answers.

Miss, I didn't use fractions, I used percentages and came up with...

Green is 42% of 250 = 105
Pink is 10% of 250= 25
Blue is 32% of 250 = 80
Yellow is 16% of 250 = 40
250

PS. Art is a hobby of mine, so may I say also that even though the colors are different, they are all of the same value

Ooh willa you can do persintages! You are clever! Can I change the colours? cos I think there should be more pink ones!

Pink 25
Yellow 40
Blue 80
Green 105

Miss, it took ages cos they were talking.

bathsheba wot was you doing behind the boys’ bike shed then huh? I know all about you from Jimmy’s friend Domnik. So don’t you go tellin tales on me.
feelingmyage wot took you so long? You bin behind the bike shed too? ?

You jus weight till I see that Domnik . He's telling lies about me cos I beat him in the sak race on sports day. He sed he wud tell evryone he'd been french kissing me. Yuk. Bleurgh, I feel sik jus thinkin bout his tung in my mouth. Right, that's it. He's for it

Well class I'm back and I'm not happy.

I heard that Miss Supply Teacher has left the building, she finished the contents of her hip flask, couldn't cope with all the shenanigans. ?

Here are the pupils who got it correct:
Saxifrage, (our new pupil ?)
Bathsheba ?
Doodle ?
Trisher ?
Wila. ? (Thank you for your explanation.)

Callistemon, how many times have I asked you to check, check and double check.

You were nearly there, but your answers added up to 260.
I'm going to give you a consolation prize of an apple, but someone took a bite out of it. It's a bit brown around the edges.

Oh Miss ....you’re the bestest (now that Dragonwitch as gone and yes she woz gluggin away all afternoon stead of siwpervysin sports lesson ?‍♂️)

So I stepped up Miss, so I did, an used nother nitiative and sed we would all ave ice creams when you sore how gwd we were.....?so if you’d like to put that gin down, I can hear the jingle of the van.....?

Miss, Miss, you missed me out . . . slinks away to have a have a sob??

Squiffy I think Miss might have given me your apple by mistake (I blame the gin). But it's too late now I've eaten it!

Oh Sqiffy, so sorry, you were on my list, but I spilled my gin water, as I was typing your name. ?

Oh squiffy don’t be upset. Here you can share mine ?. pantglas didn’t get one coz she didn’t do her sums.

Glad that dragon laden has gon.
chewy didn’t come to school today Miss. She sometimes comes to nite school. Coz she sees the boys then ?

I’ve just heard from a secret source that miss is going to dye her eyebrows. She thinks no one will notice if they are diffrent culurs. But we will hee hee ?