VERSATILE VERSE 3

We'll bury ourselves and build sand castles
well away from lockdown hassles

We'll stroll down the promenade hand in hand

We’ll bury ourselves and build sandcastles
Far away from all those daily news hassles

I may even venture out into the sea

I may even venture out into the sea
Might even learn to water ski

If I can conquer my fear of drowning

If I can conquer my fear of drowning
might learn to swim properly instead of clowning

I would love to float calmly, deep in thought

I would love to float calmly, deep in thought
About all those extravagant clothes that I bought.

Then picture me wearing them, looking so grand

Then picture me wearing them, looking so grand
I'll be the best dressed old gal in the land

All topped off with aunt Nellie's tiara

All topped off with aunt Nellie's tiara
Eye makeup done- lashings of mascara

All topped by black pencilled brows

All topped by black pencilled brows
And multiple piercings that fashion allows.

Soon a celebrity surely I’ll be!

Soon a celebrity surely I'll be!
An astonishing sight for all to see

graciously smiling at posh events

graciously smiling at posh events
Trying not to keel over with all the exotic scents

Citrus, spicy, floral and woody all mixed

Citrus, spicy, floral and woods all mixed
A Wood’s Navy Rum and the problem is fixed.

I can’t smell a thing past the fumes of my drink!

I can’t smell a thing past the fumes of my drink!
It took awhile but I’m used to the stink

It can’t be any worse than a mature Gorgonzola

It can't be any worse than a mature Gorgonzola
Although that is good with crisps and a can of coca cola

All perfect when slumped on the sofa alone

All perfect when slumped on the sofa alone
and better than too much gin, mustn't lower the tone.

Though some fizz in the garden on a sunny day is great

Though some fizz in the garden on a sunny day is great
It perks up the mood, but you can’t stay out late

It gets cold and and wet and rainy

It gets cold and and wet and rainy
And the neighbours think I'm too zany

If I get wet and sing operatic tunes

If I get wet and sing operatic tunes
They’ll think hubby and I are a pair of loons

There’s really no end to our insanity

There’s really no end to our insanity
But it never ever leads to depravity

Neighbour Lorna Loon, now that’s another story

Neighbour Lorna Loon, now that’s another story
She did some peculiar things whilst telling me a story.

For her ‘Red Riding-hood’ involved some nudity!?

For her 'Red Riding-hood' involved some nudity
I hesitate to tell you as it involves some crudity

I'll keep mum, I'm not so dumb

I'll keep mum, I'm not so dumb
Let's read instead about Victoria Plum

Now she is very sweet and such a pretty colour

Now she is very sweet and such a pretty colour
She makes other story heroines look definitely duller.

I typed her name in Google and got fruit and bathroom fittings

I typed her name in Google and got fruit and bathroom fittings
There was so much stuff for sale I needed several sittings.

I've ordered a new bath and a lovely power shower

I've ordered a new bath and a lovely power shower
On the Needle setting you should see me cower

But my favourite is when it’s set to Bubbles

But my favourite is when it's set to Bubbles
The bubbles make me smile and forget all my troubles

but I'm lucky I don't have as many problems as the Queen