VERSATILE VERSE 3

but I'm lucky I don't have as many problems as the Queen
If I had I wouldn’t look so serene

How do they keep their stiff upper lip?

How do they keep their stiff upper lip
Or resist sarky comments? A virtual zip?

I don’t like being photo’d so how do they cope?

I don't like being photo'd so how do they cope?
will all the rows stop ... is there any hope?

I think they all must want to hide from the press

I think they must all want to hide from the press
But being famous, they’ll just have to suffer, I guess!

I just got a parcel, from Cornish Cream Teas!

I just got a parcel, from Cornish Cream Teas!
Can’t wait to open it, shall I do so at 3?

But the kids will be home, don’t want to share

But the kids will be home, don’t want to share
I'm very greedy so there's none to spare.

I'll probably feel sick which really serves me right

I'll probably feel sick which really serves me right
I’ll be to and fro to the loo all night

Do I have enough ‘rolls’ to last me through this

Do I have enough ‘rolls’ to last me though this.
You probably do, but sit down, or you’ll miss!

Enough of that subject! The weather is fine.

Enough of that subject! The weather is fine.
But I’ve done nothing since I woke at 9

My mother used to call me a “lazy lump”

My mother used to call me a"lazy lump"
It made me so angry it gave me the hump

I'm actually very sweet and kind

I'm actually very sweet and kind
Most people agree ... I think you'll find

Of course there'll always be one who disputes this

Of course there'll always be one who disputes this
It could be that awfully awful Geography Miss...

I can’t tell North from South or East from West

I can’t tell North from South or East from West
But my new ‘sheepdog’ bra neatly rounds up my chest!

?Mollygo, next start line please....

Sorry
It points directs my chest in the perfect direction

It points my chest in the perfect direction
The lads, they called me ‘Miss Perfection’

I really wish I could bake a cake

I really wish I could bake a cake
But then I would eat it. Oh what a mistake.

But eat watermelon, ’twill do you most good

But eat watermelon, ’twill do you most good
It's juicy and tasty and better than any pud.

Nevertheless, sometimes I'm tempted

Nevertheless, sometimes I'm tempted
Yielded and then preempted

The mean comments about my figure

The mean comments about my figure
Will only get bigger and bigger

Till distraught, I expire

Till distraught, I expire
Or critics fall into their murky mire

There’s nothing so vile as a mean spirited “friend”

There’s nothing so vile as a mean spirited ‘friend’
So try not to listen, let that ‘friendship’ end

And stick with the good ones, who don’t cause you pain

And stick with the good ones, who don’t cause you pain
And are willing to walk with you, even in the rain

Fair weather friends are no good at all

Fair weather friends are no good at all
if you trust in them you are heading for a fall

But a real true friend is more valuable than gold