Limericks 16

My ancient laptop needs replacing
I thought it just needed repairing
But the large expense
Put me on defense
But ended up bargain-browsing

I’m a self-confessed technofile

I’m a self-confessed technophile
But I’m more comfy with old style

I’m a self-confessed technophile
But I’m more comfy with old style
I like my abacus

I’m a self-confessed technophile
But I’m more comfy with old style
I like my abacus
Counting with no fuss

I’m a self-confessed technophile
But I’m more comfy with old style
I like my abacus
Counting with no fuss
Or fingers and toes, best by a mile.

I’m so fed up, my dinner was a mess

Sorry, I’ve made a right pig’s ear of it...trying again

I’m a self-confessed technophile
But I’m more comfy with old style
I like my abacus
Counting with no fuss
Fingers and toes, best by a mile.

So fed up, dinner was a mess

So fed up, dinner was a mess
How bad it was, you couldn't guess

So fed up, dinner was a mess
How bad it was, you couldn`t guess
My Yorkshires were burnt

So fed up, dinner was a mess
How bad it was, you couldn`t guess
My Yorkshires were burnt
My stomach, it turned

So fed up, dinner was a mess
How bad it was, you couldn`t guess
My Yorkshires were burnt
My stomach, it turned
The last thing it showed, was finesse.

A sandwich, to me, is best grub

A sandwich, to me, is best grub
Best with a pint of ale down the pub

A sandwich, to me, is best grub
Best with a pint of ale down the pub
Brown bread and thick cut?

A sandwich, to me, is best grub
Best with a pint of ale down the pub
Brown bread and thick cut?
For me, a doughnut!

A sandwich, to me, is best grub
Best with a pint of ale down the pub
Brown bread and thick cut?
For me, a doughnut!
Although it will increase my chub.

Summer is now a-coming in

Summer is now a-coming in
Shorts a-nono, legs are too thin

Summer is now a-coming in
Shorts a no-no, legs are too thin
Hide them 'neath a sarong

Summer is now a-coming in
Shorts a no-no, legs are too thin
Hide them 'neath sarong
Step out, firm and strong

Summer is now a-coming in
Shorts a no-no, legs are too thin
Hide them 'neath sarong
Step out, firm and strong
Wear sunscreen before you begin.

And how about a big sun hat

And how about a big sun hat
Yes, very sensible is that

And how about a big sun hat
Yes, very sensible is that
A Big floppy brim

And how about a big sun hat
Yes, very sensible is that
A Big floppy brim
To keep the sun dim

And how about a big sun hat
Yes, very sensible is that
A big floppy brim
To keep the sun dim
Whilst we sit outside for a chat

We chat at a social distance

We chat at a social distance
We are not types to take a chance

We chat at a social distance
We are not types to take a chance
We’re so risk aware

We chat at a social distance
We are not types to take a chance
We’re so risk aware
We really don't dare