Limericks 17

My fake hanging basket looks good
It`s the brightest one in the `hood`
No need to water
Not like my daughter
Who constantly comes o’er for food.

She brings her friend, greedy Greta

She brings her friend, greedy Greta
They drink my wine by the litre

She brings her friend, greedy Greta
They drink my wine by the litre
My fund’s running low

She brings her friend, greedy Greta
They drink my wine by the litre
My fund’s running low
I wish they would go

She brings her friend, greedy Greta
They drink my wine by the litre
My fund's running low
I wish they would go
They're taken home by pal Peter.

An all-in wrestler called Bobby

An all-in wrestler called Bobby
Asked me if I had a hobby

An all-in wrestler called Bobby
Asked me if I had a hobby
I told him I knit

An all-in wrestler called Bobby
Asked me if I had a hobby
I told him I knit
But as he’s so fit

An all-in wrestler called Bobby
Asked me if I had a hobby
I told him I knit
But as he’s so fit
He sneered “no wonder Mr Blobby”

That’s not very nice, I muttered

That`s not very nice, I muttered
So that`s which side your bread`s buttered

That`s not very nice, I muttered
So that`s which side your bread`s buttered
‘Your’s - both sides!’ he said

That’s not very nice,I muttered
So that’s which side your bread’s buttered
‘Your’s-both sides!’he said
I glared,wished him dead

That's not very nice, I muttered
So that's which side your bread's buttered
"Yours - both sides!" he said
I glared at him wished him dead
"Do you want a fight," I stuttered.

I decided to start training

I decided to start training,
Muscles I need to be gaining

I decided to start training
Muscles I need to be gaining
I`ll hit that punch bag

I decided to start training
Muscles I need to be gaining
I`ll hit that punch bag
Naysayers I'll gag

I decided to start training
Muscles I need to be gaining
I`ll hit that punch bag
Naysayers I'll gag
My determine is not waning

Bought a blue Lycra bodysuit

Bought a blue Lycra bodysuit
Which fits and I look really cute

Bought a blue Lycra bodysuit
Which fits and I look really cute
It's just for 'keep fit'

Bought a blue Lycra bodysuit
Which fits and I look really cute
It's just for 'keep fit'
My gymnastic kit

Bought a blue Lycra bodysuit
Which fits and I look really cute
It's just for 'keep fit'
My gymnastic kit
I really am quite a ‘beaut’

Even if I say so myself

Even if I say so myself
I shall not be left on the shelf

Even if I say so myself
I shall not be left on the shelf
There’s suitors in line

Even if I say so myself
I shall not be left on the shelf
There’s suitors in line
They think me divine

Even if I say so myself
I shall not be left on the shef
There`s suitors in line
They think me divine
They do not know I have no wealth

They think that they will be pampered