Limericks with very strict rules (4) - 88558

I need me a man who is true
And who is honest through and through Few exist like that
Play with a straight bat
Right from the time they say ‘I do.’

Some marriages last fifty years

Some marriages last fifty years
Others end quickly, in tears

Some marriages last fifty years
Others end quickly, in tears
I’m in the latter

Some marriages last fifty years
Others end quickly, in tears
I’m in the latter
But it won't matter

Some marriages last fifty years
While others end quickly, in tears
I’m in the latter
But it won't matter
My sorrows I drowned in some beers

I might take the plunge once again

I might take the plunge once again
If he'd just give away his pet hen

I might take the plunge once again
If he`d just give away his pet hen
He`ll be top rooster

It’ll be a real booster

I might take the plunge once again
If he`d just give away his pet hen
He`ll be top rooster
It'll be a real booster
A marriage twixt Carol and Ken.

I'm Carol and Ken is my beau

I’m Carol and Ken is my beau
Just perfect, now wouldn’t you know ?

I’m Carol and Ken is my beau
Just perfect, now wouldn’t you know
On Breakfast TV

I’m Carol and Ken is my beau
Just perfect, now wouldn’t you know
On Breakfast TV
Where Ken spotted me

I’m Carol and Ken is my beau
Just perfect, now wouldn’t you know
On breakfast TV
Where Ken spotted me
And our friendship began to grow

I’m looking for a gentleman

I`m looking for a gentleman
Who comes with his own frying pan

I`m looking for a gentleman
Who comes with his own frying pan
So I can use it

I`m looking for a gentleman
Who comes with his own frying pan
So I can use it
I wouldn't abuse it

I`m looking for a gentleman
Who comes with his own frying pan
So I can use it
Would not abuse it
For there's nothing that's nicer than.........

A man who brings breakfast in bed

A man who brings breakfast in bed
So tasty - as I've always said

A man who brings breakfast in bed
So tasty-as I’ve always said
A hot cup of tea

A man who brings breakfast in bed
So tasty - as I've always said
A hot cup of tea
Would really suit me

A man who brings breakfast in bed
So tasty - as I've always said
A hot cup of tea
Would really suit me
I don’t even mind a bald head

I’ll buy him a Tom Cruise toupee

I`ll buy him a Tom Cruise toupee
I`ve seen some good ones on Ebay

I`ll buy him a Tom Cruise toupee
I`ve seen some good ones on Ebay
Blonde, Silver, Auburn?

I`ll buy him a Tom Cruise toupee
I`ve seen some good ones on Ebay
Blonde, Silver, Auburn?
Poker straight? Slight curl?

I’ll buy him a Tom Cruise toupee
I’ve seen some good ones on Ebay
Blonde, silver , auburn
Poker straight? Slight curl?
As long as it’s on the right way.

What d’you think of his sporty look?