July21 - limericks

Tea's good for you on a hot day
With a biscuit or two, I'd say
Shall I dunk or not?
Or eat a kumquat?
I think to do both is OK.

Someone said Boris is bonkers

Someone said Boris is bonkers
He`s been seen playing with conkers

Someone said Boris is bonkers
He`s been seen playing with conkers
His hair is a mess ?‍♂️

Someone said Boris is bonkers
He`s been seen playing with conkers
His hair is a mess ?‍♂️
Is he under stress?

Someone said Boris is bonkers
He`s been seen playing with conkers
His hair is a mess ?‍♂️
Is he under stress?
Let's send him to live in Yonkers.

I'm surrounded by tinsel here

I'm surrounded by tinsel here
All over the floor. where's my beer?

I’m surrounded by tinsel here
All over the floor, where’s my beer?
And a choc or two

I`m surrounded by tinsel here
All over the floor, where`s my beer?
And a choc or two
Kisses, just a few

I'm surrounded by tinsel here
All over the floor, where's my beer?
And a choc or two
Kisses, just a few
So please, fellas, do not leer.

My old Christmas tree is leaning

My old Christmas tree is leaning
I knocked it when I was cleaning

My old Christmas tree is leaning
I knocked it when I was cleaning
What shall I do now?

My old Christmas tree is leaning
I knocked it when I was cleaning
What shall I do now?
I’ll pull on a bough

My old Christmas tree is leaning
I knocked it when I was cleaning
What shall I do now?
I'll pull on a bough
While I sing out loud with full meaning.

All the presents are now wrapped up

All the presents are now wrapped up
I’ve poured my first drink and will sup

All the presents are now wrapped up
I've poured the first drink and will sup
A creamy liquor

All the presents are now wrapped up
I've poured the first drink and will sup
A creamy liquor
Don’t drip on the floor

All the presents are now wrapped up
I’ve poured the first drink and will sup
A creamy liquor
Don’t drip on the floor
Or it will be licked by the pup

This New Year’s Eve will soon be here

This New Year`s Eve will soon be here
I hope that we`ve got enough beer

This New Year`s Eve will soon be here
I hope that we`ve got enough beer
It did see us through

This New Year's Eve will soon be here
I hope that we've got enough beer
It did see us through
Though just for we two

This New Year's Eve will soon be here
I hope that we've got enough beer
It did see us through
Though just for we two
No sharing with anyone near

My goodness, it’s now turned so cold

My goodness, it’s now turned so cold
To go out, you have to be bold

My goodness, it's now turned so cold
To go out, you have to be bold
And wrap up so well

My goodness, it’s now turned so cold
To go out, you have to be bold
And wrap up so well
Although you might swell

My goodness, it’s now turned so cold
To go out, you have to be bold
And wrap up so well
Although you might swell
Oh dear, what a sight to behold

Do I detect lighter mornings?