July21 - limericks

So he's trying fried snails instead
They tasted quite good, so he said

So he's trying friend snails instead
They tasted quite good, so he said
A delicacy

So he's trying fried snails instead
They tasted quite good, so he said
A delicacy
But it’s not for me

So he's trying fried snails instead
They tasted quite good, so he said
A delicacy
But it’s not for me
I'd rather have toadstools and bread.

I only eat one meal a day

I only eat one meal a day
Digestion’s a problem, I say

I only eat one meal a day
Digestion’s a problem, I say,
With heartburn at night

I only eat one meal a day
Digestion’s a problem, I say,
With heartburn at night
Burping till daylight

I only eat one meal a day
Digestion’s a problem, I say,
With heartburn at night
Burping till daylight
I need to keep acids at bay

Should I try a vegan diet?

Should I try a vegan diet?
Would it keep my insides quiet?

Should I try a vegan diet?
Would it keep my insides quiet?
Keep cabbage away

Should I try a vegan diet?
Would it keep my insides quiet?
Keep cabbage away
Except on Friday

Should I try a vegan diet?
Would it keep my insides quiet?
Keep cabbage away
Except on Friday
But make sure you do not fry it.

Theres a crowd gathering next door

There’s a crowd gathering next door
I asked me ‘Whatever for?’

There’s a crowd gathering next door
I asked me ‘Whatever for?’
To party all night?

There’s a crowd gathering next door
I asked me”Whatever for.?”
To party all night?
Until morning light

There's a crowd gathering next door
I asked me, "Whatever for?"
To party all night
Until morning light
We'll enjoy a beer and roar.

The police arrived to disperse

The police arrived to disperse
As neighbours becoming averse

The police arrived to disperse
As neighbours becoming averse
To answer questions

The police arrived to disperse
As neighbours becoming averse
To answer questions
In closed in sections

The police arrived to disperse
As neighbours becoming averse
To answer questions
In closed in sections
The police sirens just made it worse.

So we're all feeling bolshie today

So we're all feeling bolshie today
So no-one should get in my way

So we're all feeling bolshie today
So no-one should get in my way
Not scared to lash out

So we're all feeling bolshie today
So no-one should get in my way
Not scared to lash out
With many a shout

So we`re all feeling bolshie today
So no-one should get in my way
Not scared to lash out
With many a shout
Keeps all my enemies at bay

If something nice you cannot say

If something nice you cannot say
Say nothing at all, that’s the way