Limericks with very strict rules (5) - 88558

Now, Sebastian is really most strange
He has asked me to rearrange

Now, Sebastian is really most strange
He has asked me to rearrange
His socks and his ties

Now, Sebastian is really most strange
He has asked me to rearrange
His socks and his ties
Shows off to the guys

Now, Sebastian is really most strange
He has asked me to rearrange
His socks and his ties
Shows off to the guys
He really does have quite a range

He doesn`t wear them, oh dear no

He doesn`t wear them, oh dear no
He’ll display them, charge at the door

He doesn`t wear them, oh dear no
He’ll display them, charge at the door,
Cheap rate for oldies

He doesn`t wear them, oh dear no
He’ll display them, charge at the door,
Cheap rate for oldies
Keep out the 'coldies'

He doesn`t wear them, oh dear no
He`ll display them, charge at the door,
Cheap rate for oldies
Keep out the `coldies`
Says they`ll keep you warm in the snow

I`d rather have a pair of boots

I`d rather have a pair of boots
For following winter pursuits

I`d rather have a pair of boots
For following winter pursuits
Like hiking to Wales

I’d rather have a pair of boots
For following winter pursuits
Like hiking to Wales
Or the Yorkshire Dales

I'd rather have a pair of boots
For following winter pursuits
Liking hiking to Wales
Or the Yorkshire Dales
Must exercise my daisy roots.

There was a housewife who hated

There was a housewife who hated
Those who were sophisticated

There was a housewife who hated
Those who were sophisticated
She used words that were plain

There was a housewife who hated
Those who were sophisticated
She used words that were plain
Again and again

There was a housewife who hated
Those who were sophisticated
She used words so plain
Again and again
Till her store of words abated

Her dictionary was so old

Her dictionary was so old
In nineteen forty it was sold

Her dictionary was so old
In nineteen forty it was sold
Its words were obscure

Her dictionary was so old
In nineteen forty it was sold
Its words were obscure
From days of old yore

Her dictionary was so old
In nineteen forty it was sold
It`s words were obscure
From days of old yore
When knights were still known to be bold

They fought wars with lances and spears

They fought wars with lances and spears
Some went on for several years

They fought wars with lances and spears
Some went on for several years
Maidens, left behind

They fought wars with lances and spears
Some went on for several years
Maidens, left behind
To lose men resigned

They fought wars with lances and spears
Some went on for several years
Maidens, left behind
To lose men resigned,
And alas, they shed many tears.

Some things haven't changed all that much

Some things haven`t changed all that much
Men still like to prove they are butch,