Limericks with very strict rules (6) - 88558

Let's live for the moment, some say
And leave all our troubles at bay
Turn off the news
Wear those blue suede shoes
And say the sky's blue and not grey.

A bald headed bloke from Bristol

A bald headed bloke from Bristol
Drank only from elegant crystal

A bald headed bloke from Bristol
Was seen carrying a pistol

A bald headed bloke from Bristol
Drank only from elegant crystal
Wore silks and satin

A bald headed bloke from Bristol
Drank only from elegant crystal
Wore silks and satin
Carried a baton

A bald headed bloke from Bristol
Drank only from elegant crystal
Wore silks and satin
Carried a baton
And sported a smoking pistol.

May Day is almost upon us

May day is almost upon us
We'll celebrate it without fuss

May day is almost upon us
We'll celebrate it without fuss
Too old to dance round

May day is almost upon us
We'll celebrate it without fuss
Too old to dance round
My legs ache I found

May day is almost upon us
We'll celebrate it without fuss
Too old to dance round
My legs ache I found
And I'm going to need a new truss.

That baldie from Bristol got wed

That baldie from Bristol got wed
With an old top hat on his head

That baldie from Bristol got wed
With an old top hat on his head
Cravat round his neck

That baldie from Bristol got wed
With an old top hat on his head
Cravat round his neck
And trousers of check

That baldie from Bristol got wed
With an old top hat on his head
Cravat round his neck
And trousers of check
But the bride took one look and fled

But the bridesmaid was most impressed

That baldie from Bristol got wed
With an old top hat on his head
Cravat round his neck
And trousers of check
And a summer shirt, all bright red.

His bride wore black, ‘cos she was Goth

His bride wore black, 'cos she was Goth
With corset so tight she daren't cough

His bride wore black, 'cos she was Goth
With corset so tight she daren't cough
Eyeliner, so thick

His bride wore black, 'cos she was Goth
With corset so tight she daren't cough
Eyeliner, so thick
And reeking of Vick

His bride wore black, 'cos she was Goth
With corset so tight she daren't cough
Eyeliner, so thick
And reeking of Vick
And her dress all chewed up by moth.

As she walked down the aisle she tripped

As she walked down the aisle she tripped
Out of the corset one boob slipped

As she walked down the aisle she tripped
Out of the corset one boob slipped
Baldie took his hat

As she walked down the aisle she tripped
Out of the corset one boob slipped
Baldie took his hat
And said, "Here! Use that!"

As she walked down the aisle she tripped
Out of the corset one boob slipped
Baldie took his hat
And said, "Here! Use that!""
"Perfect seven an'arf," he quipped

So they made their vows and kissed

So they made their vows and kissed
Well, he aimed for her lips but missed

So they made their vows and kissed
Well, he aimed for her lips but missed
Caught her on the nose