LIMERICKS WITH VERY STRICT RULES - 88558 - (4)

Are cell phones a boon to mankind?
Can’t be without mine, do you mind?
I’m plugged in all day
What more can I say
When batteries run out, it’s a bind !

My friend, she’s decided to quit

My friend, she's decided to quit
All vices, not even a bit

My friend, she's decided to quit
All vices, not even a bit
But now, he's no fun

My friend, she's decided to quit
All vices, not even a bit
But now, he's no fun
Just sits in the sun ?

My friend, she's decided to quit
All vices, not even a bit
But now, he's no fun
Just sits in the sun ?
Um, a he, a she, or an it?

The news on TV is so awful

The news on TV is so awful
Throw it out, but is that lawful?

The news on TV is so awful
Throw it out, but is that lawful?
Just change the channel

The news on TV is awful
Throw it out, but is that lawful?
Just change the channel
Any old flannel

The news on TV is awful
Throw it out, but is that lawful?
Just change the channel
Any old flannel
My cat caught a mouse, a paw-ful !

Hard rhyme, sorry I changed the theme

Hard rhyme, sorry I changed the theme
Could we turn it into a meme?

Hard rhyme, sorry I changed the theme
Could we turn it into a meme?
Now that’s much tougher

Hard rhyme, sorry I changed the theme
Could we turn it into a meme?
Now that’s much tougher
For this old duffer

Hard rhyme, sorry I changed the theme
Could we turn it into a meme?
Now that’s much tougher
For this old duffer
More of a problem it would seem

Let’s go safely back to weather

Let’s go safely back to weather
And have a jolly good blether

Let’s go safely back to weather
And have a jolly good blether,
It's sunny today

Let’s go safely back to weather
And have a jolly good blather
It’s sunny today
Hip,hip, hip hooray!

Let’s go safely back to weather
And have a jolly good blather
It’s sunny today
Hip,hip, hip hooray!
I hope we can all get together.

My neighbor's new dog won't stop yapping

My neighbor's new dog won't stop yapping
He’s cute e’en though he needs a slapping (poetic licence)

My neighbor's new dog won't stop yapping
He’s cute though he needs a slapping
Let's call Graeme Hall

My neighbor's new dog won't stop yapping
He’s cute though he needs a slapping
Let's call Graeme Hall
With his magic ball

My neighbor's new dog won't stop yapping
He’s cute though he needs a slapping
Let's call Graeme Hall
With his magic ball
His paws are so big they start clapping

My friends head is as big as the sun

My friends head is as big as the sun
Thinks she’s better than everyone

My friend's head's as big as the sun
Thinks she’s better than everyone
She's in for a shock

My friend's head's as big as the sun
Thinks she’s better than everyone
She's in for a shock
And a rather hard knock

My friend's head's as big as the sun
Thinks she’s better than everyone
She's in for a shock
A rather hard knock
When she finds she can be outdone.

Seems nobody likes a showoff