LIMERICKS 17 (contd)

Poor Bill’s stuck on the first green
He always makes such a scene
Moaning and whining

Poor Bill’s stuck on the first green
He always makes such a scene
Moaning and whining
He’s definitely pining

Poor Bill’s stuck on the first green
He always makes such a scene
Moaning and whining
He’s definitely pining
About something that might have been?

I’m going to watch the tennis

I’m going to watch the tennis
Rather than fly off to Venice

’m going to watch the tennis
Rather than fly off to Venice
I’m not too sporty

I’m going to watch the tennis
Rather than fly off to Venice
I’m not too sporty
I'm over forty

I'm going to watch the tennis
Rather than fly off to Venice
I'm not too sporty
I'm over forty
So I will give all that a miss.

I'll sit down with a ball of wool

I'll sit down with a ball of wool
Like Tom Daley, think knitting's cool

I'll sit down with a ball of wool
Like Tom Daley, think knitting's cool
With specs on my nose

I'll sit down with a ball of wool
Like Tom Daley, think knitting's cool
With specs on my nose
I’ll take up a pose

I'll sit down with a ball of wool
Like Tom Daley, think knitting's cool
With specs on my nose
I’ll take up a pose
In my wool swimsuit by the pool.

The Tories have had a big shock

The Tories have had a big shock
Seems their voters have run amok

The Tories have had a big shock
Seems their voters have run amok
Their work's now cut out

The Tories have had a big shock
Seems their voters have run amok
Their work's now cut out
Of that there's no doubt

The Tories have had a big shock
Seems their voters have run amok
Their work’s now cut out
Of that there’s no doubt
But is Boris’s head on the block?

I picked my first strawberries tonight.

I picked my first strawberries tonight.
Oooh, that lovely juicy first bite,

I picked my first strawberries tonight.
Oooh, that lovely juicy first bite,
I need sugar and cream

I picked my first strawberries tonight.
Oooh, that lovely juicy first bite,
Need sugar and cream

I picked my first strawberries tonight.
Oooh, that lovely juicy first b
ite,
Need sugar and cream
Fits a gourmet's dream

I picked my first strawberries tonight.
Oooh, that lovely juicy first bite
Need sugar and cream
Fits a gourmet's dream
But my poor body, what a sight !

Does it really matter, does it?

Does it really matter, does it?
But lack of a waist I cuss it

Does it really matter, does it?
But lack of a waist I cuss it
Where I should go in

Does it really matter, does it?
But lack of a waist I cuss it
Where I should go in
There’s just too much skin

Does it really matter, does it?
But lack of a waist I cuss it
Where I should go in
There’s just too much skin
Oh my neighbour, she is so fit ?

I peeked into her posh larder

I peeked into her posh larder
Made me decide to try harder