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Lame Limericks (but they are funny anyway)

(1001 Posts)
GoldenLady Sat 08-Jul-23 14:25:04

At limerick writing I'm bad

Juliet27 Wed 06-Sept-23 21:31:58

Like lettuce I’m feeling wilted
And my gait is all but stilted
I can’t concentrate

crazyH Wed 06-Sept-23 21:38:09

Like lettuce I’m feeling wilted
And my gait is all but stilted
I can’t concentrate
Appetite’s not great

Salti Wed 06-Sept-23 21:42:05

Like lettuce I’m feeling wilted
And my gait is all but stilted
I can’t concentrate
Appetite’s not great
And all because I was jilted

I nearly got married last week

Bellanonna Wed 06-Sept-23 22:11:59

I nearly got married last week
I met him online - great physique

nanna8 Thu 07-Sept-23 01:03:45

I nearly got married last week
I met him online-great physique
But out of his mouth

Juliet27 Thu 07-Sept-23 06:32:29

I nearly got married last week
I met him online-great physique
But out of his mouth
With accent deep south

FarNorth Thu 07-Sept-23 08:16:18

I nearly got married last week
I met him online-great physique
But out of his mouth
With accent deep south
"Cheerio, I'm off to Mustique."

My wedding dress hangs in the hall

Mollygo Thu 07-Sept-23 08:31:26

My wedding dress hangs in the hall
It covers the damp on the wall

Salti Thu 07-Sept-23 08:42:37

My wedding dress hangs in the hall
It covers the damp on the wall
It makes me feel glad

Bellanonna Thu 07-Sept-23 08:53:53

My wedding dress hangs in the hall
It covers the damp on the wall
It makes me feel glad
And not at all sad

Squiffy Thu 07-Sept-23 10:49:48

My wedding dress hangs in the hall
It covers the damp on the wall
It makes me feel glad
And not at all sad
To desert me he had some gall.

Revenge is best served cold they say

Mollygo Thu 07-Sept-23 11:09:23

Revenge is best served cold they say
I’m planning my tactics today

VB000 Thu 07-Sept-23 11:24:26

Revenge is best served cold they say
I’m planning my tactics today
I'll be at Heathrow

henetha Thu 07-Sept-23 11:30:07

Revenge is best served cold they say
I’m planning my tactics today
I'll be at Heathrow,
Your credit card in tow,

Squiffy Thu 07-Sept-23 12:38:52

Revenge is best served cold they say
I’m planning my tactics today
I'll be at Heathrow,
Your credit card in tow,
And then I’ll be up and away.

Now off to make a decision

Juliet27 Thu 07-Sept-23 15:37:15

Now off to make a decision
Now that I have such clear vision

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 08-Sept-23 08:21:00

Now off to make a decision
Now that I have such clear vision
The scales have fallen

Mollygo Fri 08-Sept-23 10:38:51

Now off to make a decision
Now that I have such clear vision
The scales have fallen
Holiday’s callin’

VB000 Fri 08-Sept-23 11:25:48

Now off to make a decision
Now that I have such clear vision
The scales have fallen
Holiday’s callin’
He deserves some real derision

The flight is long but worth the wait

GoldenLady Fri 08-Sept-23 13:50:32

The flight is long but worth the wait
And soon I will get to the gate

Scribbles Sat 09-Sept-23 00:27:13

The flight is long but worth the wait
And soon I will get to the gate
Boarding pass ready

Juliet27 Sat 09-Sept-23 06:13:19

The flight is long but worth the wait
And soon I will get to the gate
Boarding pass ready
I’m feeling heady

Mollygo Sat 09-Sept-23 07:57:43

The flight is long but worth the wait
And soon I will get to the gate
Boarding pass ready
I’m feeling heady
Let’s hope the plane isn’t late.

We’re off down the runway at last.

henetha Sat 09-Sept-23 10:17:48

We’re off down the runway at last.
The plane seems to be going too fast

crazyH Sat 09-Sept-23 13:41:11

We’re off down the runway at last.
The plane seems to be going too fast
My stomach’s churning

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