More Lame Limericks

When young Guy Faulks night was the best
And all the cool gear that he dressed

When young, Guy Fawkes night was the best
And all the cool gear that he dressed
The fireworks were great

When young, Guy Fawkes night was the best
And all the cool gear that he dressed
The fireworks were great
We stayed up quite late

When young, Guy Fawkes night was the best
And all the cool gear that he dressed
The fireworks were great
We stayed up quite late
And went to bed tired but impressed

Christmas comes early to the shops

Christmas comes early to the shops
With trees, and lights and seasonal props

Christmas comes early to the shops
With trees, and lights and seasonal props
With presents to buy

Christmas comes early to the shops
With trees, and lights and seasonal props
With presents to buy
‘Specially for my guy

Christmas comes early to the shops
With trees, and lights and seasonal props
With presents to buy
‘Specially for my guy
And snow on the rooftops

But my budget is tight this year

But my budget is tight this year
Price rises have been hard to bear

But my budget is tight this year
Price rises have been hard to bear
My savings I’ll raid

But my budget is tight this year
Price rises have been hard to bear
My savings I’ll raid
So the bills will get paid

But my budget is tight this year
Price rises have been hard to bear
My savings I’ll raid
So the bills will get paid
But not very soon, I just fear.

There was a young lady from Hull

There was a young lady from Hull
Who was chased by a huge black bull

There was a young lady from Hull
Who was chased by a huge black bull
But she seized on a spade

There was a young lady from Hull
Who was chased by a huge black bull
But she seized on a spade
Hoping it will aid

There was a young lady from Hull
Who was chased by a huge black bull
But she seized on a spade
Hoping it will aid
Which distracted that virulent bull
(apologies to the memory of Edward Lear)

My feet are consistently cold

My feet are consistently cold
I should exercise more, so I’m told

My feet are consistently cold
I should exercise more, so I’m told
I wear big woolly socks

My feet are consistently cold
I should exercise more, so I’m told
I wear big woolly socks
Go to gym with the jocks

My feet are consistently cold
I should exercise more, so I’m told
I wear big woolly socks
Go to gym with the jocks
And sweat while Im peddling away

Bought a peloton bike for the den

Bought a peloton bike for the den
Used it once, maybe try it again?

Bought a peleton bike for the den
Used it once, maybe try it again?
It made my legs ache

Bought a peleton bike for the den
Used it once, maybe try it again?
It made my legs ache
Which kept me awake

They both said the other was wrong
Police said, "Again, same old song!"

Bought a peleton bike for the den
Used it once, maybe try again
It made my legs ache
Which kept me awake
I might try once more, don't know when

I fancy a spa day quite soon