More Lame Limericks

Whenever I do think aloud
It happens when I’m in a crowd
All heads turn to me
No filter you see
Of my brashness I am quite proud

I treated myself to new ‘shorts’

I treated myself to new ‘shorts’
I’m ignoring the grandchildrens’ snorts

I treated myself to new ‘shorts’
I’m ignoring the grandchildrens’ snorts
‘Less hair on a bear’

T'was clear they did not get along

treated myself to new ‘shorts’
I’m ignoring the grandchildrens’ snorts
‘Less hair on a bear’
I heard them declare

Oops! ignore. Wrong page.

treated myself to new ‘shorts’
I’m ignoring the grandchildrens’ snorts
‘Less hair on a bear’
I heard them declare
Really made me feel out of sorts.

So, off I went to the big store

So, off I went to the big store
Clothes shopping is really a chore

So, off I went to the big store
Clothes shopping is really a chore
I bought a large sack

So, off I went to the big store
Clothes shopping is really a chore
I bought a large sack
Brought most of them back

So, off I went to the big store
Clothes shopping is really a chore
I bought a large sack
Brought most of them back
Now they are piled high by the door

I don’t mind being short and stumpy

I don’t mind being short and stumpy
Sometimes I am slightly grumpy

I don’t mind being short and stumpy
Sometimes I am slightly grumpy
My long face hangs low

I don’t mind being short and stumpy
Sometimes I am slightly grumpy
My long face hangs low
A sad tale of woe

I don’t mind being short and stumpy
Sometimes I am slightly grumpy
My long face hangs low
A sad tale of woe
‘Cos they call me humpty-dumpty

A trip in a hot-air balloon

A trip in a hot-air balloon
On a glorious sunday day in June

Made me fell like a bird

A trip in a hot-air balloon
On a glorious sunday day in June
Made me feel like a bird
But no one quite heard

A trip in a hot-air balloon
On a glorious sunday day in June
Made me feel like a bird
But no one quite heard
I hoped we could fly to the moon

Then suddenly something went wrong

Then suddenly something went wrong
The pilot just burst into song

Then suddenly something went wrong
The pilot just burst into song
The rest of us screamed

Then suddenly something went wrong
The pilot just burst into song
The rest of us screamed
As downward we streamed

Then upwards, around and along.

I felt cold when I first hit the water

I felt cold when I first hit the water
And quickly looked for my daughter

I felt cold when I first hit the water
And quickly looked for my daughter
She started to sink