More Lame Limericks

But sadly, it's only a dream
There’s no need for you to turn green
I just love to muse
A place I can choose
So I'll really be there, it will seem

Winter has truly arrived

Winter has truly arrived
Of sunshine I’m feeling deprived

Winter has truly arrived
Of sunshine I’m feeling deprived
Rain is incessant

Winter has truly arrived
Of sunshine I’m feeling deprived
Rain is incessant
Not at all pleasant

Winter has truly arrived
Of sunshine I'm feeling deprived
Rain is incessant
Not at all pleasant
If I said I like it I lied

For me summer weather is best

For me summer weather is best
Can put aside my thermal vest

For me summer weather is best
Can put aside my thermal vest
read book in the sun

For me summer weather is best
Can put aside my thermal vest
Read book in the sun
Not dress like a nun

For me summer weather is best
Can put aside my thermal vest
Read book in the sun
Not dress like a nun
And watching swallows with their nest

There was a young woman called Gill

There was a young woman called Gill
Who refused to go on the Pill

There was a young woman called Gill
Who refused to go on the Pill
What was the outcome?

There was a young woman called Gill
Who refused to go on the Pill
What was the outcome?
A very large tum

There was a young woman called Gill
Who refused to go on the Pill
What was the outcome
A very large tum
And a fight with a man called Phil

Turned out he was married you see

Turned out he was married you see
This one was wife number three

Turned out he was married you see
This one was wife number three
He said Gill was best

he'd put it to the test

Turned out he was married you see
This one was wife number three
He said Gill was best
He'd put it to the test
Will it last this time? Well, we'll see!

But meanwhile, a baby is due

But meanwhile, a baby is due
Another? Wow that’s twenty-two

But meanwhile, a baby is due
Another? Wow that's twenty-two
He's gone into shock

But meanwhile, a baby is due
Another? Wow that's twenty-two
He's gone into shock
Hid in back of a rock

But meanwhile, a baby is due
Another? Wow that's twenty-two
He's gone into shock
Hid in back of a rock
And runs back and forth to the loo

Don’t know what it is about ‘stress’

Don’t know what it is about ‘stress’
But it’s pretty bad nevertheless

He’s friendly enough but I’m wary
The problem is, he’s kind of hairy
He looks like a bear
And really does stare

Don’t know what it is about ‘stress’
But it’s pretty bad nevertheless
Gives me a headache

Don't know what it is about 'stress'
But it's pretty bad nevertheless
Gives me a headache
With men on the make