More Lame Limericks

I once took a trip up to Reading
To see this bloke I was bedding,
His wife answered the door,
She called me a whore
Recognised her from my wedding

She was very drunk, not happy

She was very drunk, not happy
She wore, on her head, a wet nappy

She was very drunk, not happy
She wore, on her head, a wet nappy
With hair lank and greasy

She was very drunk, not happy
She wore, on her head, a wet nappy
With hair lank and greasy
To converse was not easy

She was very drunk, not happy
She wore on her head, a wet nappy
With hair lank and greasy
To converse was not easy
Especially when she got snappy

I ran from the door in great haste

I ran from the door in great haste
Her la gauge was not in good taste

I ran from the door in great haste
Her language was not in good taste

I ran from the door in great haste
Her language was not in good taste
But its best to ignore

I ran from the door in great haste
Her language was not in good taste
But its best to ignore
If I don't want more

I ran from the door in great haste
Her language was not in good taste
But its best to ignore
If I don't want more
Foul words, so I quickly raced.

I jumped into my car and drove off

I jumped into my car and drove off
But found I'd developed a cough

I jumped into my car and drove off
But found I'd developed a cough
So to the pharmacy I went

I jumped into my car and drove off
But found I'd developed a cough
So to the pharmacy I went
Where I overspent

I jumped into my car and drove off
But I found I'd developed a cough
So to the pharmacy I went
Where I overspent
But I still don't think I bought enough

I definitely need more strong drugs

I definitely need more strong drugs
If I’m ever to shake off these bugs

I definitely need more strong drugs
If I’m ever to shake off these bugs
Viruses and germs

definitely need more strong drugs
If I’m ever to shake off these bugs
Viruses and germs
Have made their own terms

definitely need more strong drugs
If I’m ever to shake off these bugs
Viruses and germs
Have made their own terms
They obviously think we are mugs

I got on the phone to the doc

I got on the phone to the doc
His Sec said “he’s gone to Bangkok”

I got on the phone to the doc
His Sec said “he’s gone to Bangkok”
So what about me?

I got on the phone to the doc
His Sec said “he’s gone to Bangkok”
So what about me?
I've got a sore knee

I got on the phone to the doc
His Sec said “he’s gone to Bangkok”
So what about me?
And my wonky knee

I got on the phone to the doc
His Sec said “he’s gone to Bangkok”
So what about me?
And my wonky knee.,
It's not funny, so please don't mock.

So I'm using my walking pole

So I'm using my walking pole
As my knee has taken its toll

So I'm using my walking pole
As my knee has taken its toll
It clicks all the time