Silly news stories

Meanwhile, a much loved maze is to close down.

The company responsible for its upkeep said "despite our best efforts, we just can't see a way out of it".

The elastic factory is having to let some of its employees go. They're a bit stretched.

The plastic surgery clinic is closed, temporarily.
It'll be having a complete face-lift.

The prosthetic limb clinic is advertising for volunteers to help them out.

The owner said "we could really do with people to give us a hand".

A hardware company recently closed, the family said they had axed jobs last year but the business had taken too much of a hammering.

A local clinic specialising in memory loss is at risk of closure, the owner said he couldn't remember a worse time.

The group of women suspected of robbing the shoe shop, and making away with around 50 pairs stilettos have been spotted in the next country.

Police are appealing for people to keep their eyes out for five well heeled females....

Someone stole the toilet from the police station. Police said they have nothing to go on.

The sweet shop robbers are safe behind bars today, after dna on a bar of chocolate was matched to the ringleader.

A police spokesman said it was all down to a "careless whispa"

Speaking about the speculation surrounding the theft of a toilet roll from a staff wc, the business owner said "This has been a sore subject, and I would like to put it behind me now".

A large hole has appeared on the motorway
Police are looking into it.

🤭

Mystery of the dandruff shampoo disappearance- police admit they are scratching their heads, trying to solve it.

A cosmetic shop has finally re-opened

A spokesman said they having to makeup for lost revenue

A manufacturer of underwear has had to make them smaller to cut costs.
The manager said We are really feeling the pinch.

The hairdressers in town is planning to reduce its working space, and sell off half of the premises.

The owner has said in the current economic climate, there is no choice but to make cuts.

The Veterinary Surgery is having to close

The Vet said that during the past year they have been dogged by misfortune and catastrophe

The sprat processing factory has been hit by more robberies.
The irate owner stated "I thought there was something fishy going on".

Schoolchildren visiting the Shetland pony enclosure of their local petting zoo were reported to be feeling a little hoarse.

The department of innuendos has been hit by a formal complaint from a female job applicant.

Head of department has said "Well she asked for an example of an innuendo, so I gave her one" 🤭

Our towns cup factory is shutting down because of fierce competition.
The locals think they're mugs!