Grandson of New Limerick (Son of New Limerick contd.)

The rain started falling so heavy
I might as well go have a bevy
I went for a beer
Felt full of good cheer

The rain started falling so heavy
I might as well go have a bevy
I went for a beer
Felt full of good cheer
And ordered a chop with some gravy

There was a young lady called Betty

There was a young lady called Betty
Who used to sell fish by the jetty

There was a young lady called Betty
Who used to sell fish by the jetty
All day she would toil

There was a young lady called Betty
Who used to sell fish by the jetty
All day she would toil
While the breakers did roil

There was a young lady called Betty
Who used to sell fish by the jetty
All day she would toil
While the breakers did roil
And the work made her terribly sweaty

I once knew a fellow called Jake

I once knew a fellow called Jake
Who was so incredibly fake

I once knew a fellow called Jake
Who was so incredibly fake
He dressed like a dandy

I once knew a fellow called Jake
Who was so incredibly fake
He dressed like a dandy
At times known as Mandy

I once knew a fellow called Jake
Who was so incredibly fake
He dressed like a dandy
At times known as Mandy
He, she or they for god's sake?!

I like a nice man with a beard

I like a nice man with a beard
Though my granddaughter finds them too weird

I like a nice man with a beard
Though my granddaughter finds them too weird
When they are named Mary

I like a nice man with a beard
Though my granddaughter finds them too weird
When they are named Mary
Yet seem very hairy

I like a nice man with a beard
Though my granddaughter finds them too weird
When they are named Mary
Yet seem very hairy
They're never quite how they appeared

Better to give them a miss

Better to give them a miss
Or they might ask you for a kiss

Better to give them a miss
Or they might ask you for a kiss
You'll have to say "no"

Better to give them a miss
Or they might ask you for a kiss
You'll have to say "no,
Not my kinda beau” !

Better to give them a miss
Or they might ask you for a kiss
You'll have to say "no,
Not my kinda beau” !
You're either a that or a this.

My dog has a problem with fleas

My dog has a problem with fleas
I have got bites up to my knees

My dog has a problem with fleas
I have got bites up to my knees
If they go up much further

My dog has a problem with fleas
I have got bites up to my knees
If they go up much further
I'll have to tell mother

My dog has a problem with fleas
I have got bites up to my knees
If they go up much further
I'll have to tell mother
But do not tell anyone, please

The poor dog continues to scratch

The poor dog continues to scratch
Just sprayed her so don't light a match

The poor dog continues to scratch
Just sprayed her so don't light a match
What else can I do?