Grandson of New Limerick (Son of New Limerick contd.)

Whilst jogging along in my trainers
Which felt like a pair of leg strainers
I chanced on a mole
And also a foal
So now, are there any explainers?

Say hello to my friend Meriwether

Say hello to my friend Meriwether
Who does nothing but blether and blether

Say hello to my friend Meriwether
Who does nothing but blether and blether
She talks and she talks

Say hello to my friend Meriweather
Who does nothing but belt her and blather
She talks and she talks
It sounds more like squawks

Say hello to my friend Meriweather
Who does nothing but blether and blether,
She talks and she talks
It sounds more like squawks
Her husband's worse when they're together.

In fact, he could win a big prize

In fact, he could win a big prize
You should see the look in his eyes

In fact, he could win a big prize
You should see the look in his eyes
He's waiting for cash

In fact, he could win a big prize
You should see the look in his eyes
He's waiting for cash
He'll do something rash

In fact, he could win a big prize
You should see the look in his eyes
He's waiting for cash
He'll do something rash
Like eating too many big pies.

He already weighs twenty three stone

He already weighs twenty three stone
Now me, I look more like a bone

He already weighs twenty three stone
Now me, I look more like a bone
So nice to be slim

He already weighs twenty three stone
Now me, I look more like a bone
So nice to be slim
I'm glad I'm not him

He already weighs twenty three stone
Now me, I look more like a bone
So nice to be slim
I'm glad I'm not him
But a skinny and bony old crone.

There was a wee lad from Dumfries

There was a wee lad from Dumfries
Who the first son of my niece

Sorry

There was a wee lad from Dumfries
Who was the first son of my niece

There was a wee lad from Dumfries
Who was the first son of my niece
He looked sweet in his kilt

There was a wee lad from Dumfries
Who was the first son of my niece
He looked sweet in his kilt
But unfortunately spilt

There was a wee lad from Dumfries
Who was the first son of my niece
He looked sweet in his kilt
But unfortunately spilt
A wee dram all over his knees

His friend played bagpipes in a band

His friend played bagpipes in a band
I went along to give a hand

His friend played bagpipes in a band
I went along to give a hand
I plumped up his bellows

His friend played bagpipes in a band
I went along to give a hand
I plumped up his bellows
And those of his fellows

His friend played bagpipes in a band
I went along to give a hand
I plumped up his bellows
And those of his fellows
I really think kilts should be banned!

There once was a grumpy old codger

There once was a grumpy old codger
Who made life too hard for his lodger

There once was a grumpy old codger
Who made life too hard for his lodger
He’d shout and he d swear