Silly news reports.

You're great at this.
There's a feather in your cap, eh?

The manager of a vintage record shop today denied claims that Elvis Presley songs are being targetted.
Asked to comment, he dismissed it as "Suspicious minds".

Ha ha these are brilliant! 😁

A policeman gets an urgent call that a body has been found in an ice cream van. Upon rushing to the scene, he discovers a man covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with chocolate flakes up his nostrils, and raspberry sauce all over his head. A puzzled onlooker asks the officer what happened, and the policeman replies: "It looks like he topped himself."

top thread

Man arrested for breaking into a dog Treat Factory Claims
"I have a right to Choose"

Cinema goers queued to see the new film, which is a sequel to both free willy and my left foot.

Its called my free foor willy.

No sure how saucy we are allowed to be! Apologies if this is not suitable!

A woman had a designer vagina operation. After the op she received three bunches of flowers. One from her husband, one from her surgeon and one from a grateful burns victim thanking her for his new ears.

MissAdventure

Cinema goers queued to see the new film, which is a sequel to both free willy and my left foot.

Its called my free foor willy.

A film about Roy Rogers is due to premier tomorrow.
It will come with a trigger warning.

MissAdventure

A film about Roy Rogers is due to premier tomorrow.
It will come with a trigger warning.

I'll be gunning for him!

There have been reports of a dangerous new way of ingesting the party drug, ecstacy, in Yorkshire.
Users are injecting the drug pipularly known as "E," directly into the soft tissue in their mouths..
This is known as "E by gum".

(Its just a joke - not really!)

Thieves have apologised to Mr Kipling after 'Cake Break In'
saying it was " a half baked idea" and they "only did it as they needed the dough"

Goodnight all, thanks for winding this hot day up with laughter!

Sleep tight.