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Seeking an unknown place of burial/cremation

(12 Posts)
cassy Fri 05-Jan-18 14:27:36

I would like to find a burial place of a friends mother. He was estranged from his family at the time of his mums death, and she had dementia at the end - the family didnt tell him his mum had died. He would like to pay respects, but does not know where she was buried or cremated.

Does anyone know where to start? I have looked online, but had not had much luck!

Any suggestions - that work please!


Anniebach Fri 05-Jan-18 14:32:01

Start with where her death was registered , much depends on when she died. Does your friend have the death certificate ?

BlueBelle Fri 05-Jan-18 15:02:52

Once you know what town as Anniebach said you can then trawl the cemeteries cremsof that area Most people are buried or cremated in their own area Do you know the date she died ? The town councils I have found very helpful for burials telling you exactly where the plot is I presume crematoriums have similar information

cassy Fri 05-Jan-18 15:14:50

He thinks she may have been cremated, not buried. He doesn't know. He knows where she lived, thats all and the date could be 2013 or 2014. We are not going to be able to walk around churchyards - as not in the area now or have transport
We want to look online, and then make the journey

grannyactivist Fri 05-Jan-18 15:23:52

Check her local press to see if there was an announcement of her death and/or an obituary notice; this should give details of the funeral. If she was in a care home they can also be contacted and asked to provide information about the funeral.
If those steps are not fruitful then try the following:
1. Go on this site and get the 14 day free trial - then cancel when you have the information you need!!
2. Type in the deceased's full name and her (may be appx) date of death to find a record of the register that will give you the accurate details.
3. Use the information you now have to send off to the GRO for a copy of the death certificate, you will have to register first, but this is free. The cost of a death cert is £9.25 plus postage.
4. Contact the person who registered the death and ask for details of cremation/burial OR contact local (to her) funeral homes and ask if them if they conducted the funeral and, if so, where she is interred etc.

Anniebach Fri 05-Jan-18 15:30:19

I would get a copy of the death certificate to start, the person who registered the death may be willing to give all the info needed

MawBroon Fri 05-Jan-18 15:37:50

Had you thought of the contacting local funeral directors in hervarea as long as you have a name and (approximate) date.
They may be able to point you in the right direction

paddyann Fri 05-Jan-18 15:38:17

agree ,get a death certificate ,its usually straightforward to find online or contact the crematoriums near to where she died and they can check records for you.Hope you're successful .I looked for a grave for over 30 years and still haven't found it .Have now given up even after having help from professionals ,seems mine disappeared into thin air ,even though I know it was a burial

oldgaijin Wed 12-Dec-18 08:28:50

There is a website called find a grave, I think. Google it!

Anja Wed 12-Dec-18 09:05:10

That’s a good idea that Maw has suggested

Anniebach Wed 12-Dec-18 10:12:48

This year I searched for the burial places of three people. Two were husband and wife, third their son.

I bought the death certificate of the husband , this gave me where he died. I searched ‘ find a grave ‘ he and his wife were buried in the same grave, their grandson was able to visit the grave.

Their son, I bought his death certificate, failed to find a grave, phoned the undertakers in the area, was informed the body was taken to a crematorium, phoned the crematorium, the ashes had not been interred in their memorial garden, the ashes had been collected , no record of the person who collected the ashes.

So one success , one failure.

Chestnut Sat 28-Sep-19 16:58:49

My great aunt died in 1954 but unfortunately a burial cannot be verified. She was cremated and cemetery records show that the ashes were retained by the funeral director. The company is still in business and I spoke to someone who worked there. He searched for the ashes, but as it was such a long time ago he could not confirm whether they were still there, although he said there were some unidentified ashes from that period still in storage, which could be hers. So her ashes may have been with the funeral director since 1954!