Surprising DNA results.

Some of the people seeking close relatives can be searching for a ready made family if their own family is not very satisfactory.
I have encountered a situation like this with a cousin who was adopted at birth. not DNA but searching. Her birth mother was in her 80s and her offspring knew nothing of her existence. My adopted cousin went into meeting her new family in a very possessive way which upset the new family members. I offered to help as a go-between in a gentle way but she had very high expectations of her new family. She does not talk to me anymore.
When mothers gave away their babies in the old days, there were quite a few who wanted it all to stay in the past. I think a lot of these Find-Your-Lost Relatives programmes on TV cause a lot of grief for those whose birth families do not want contact.
I am a very family orientated mother and grandmother and my heart bleeds for this situation.

Personally I would be extremely wary. There are so many scammers and fraudsters around these days. Plus I find these long-lost family issues a bit weird. However that's just me, and lots of other people feel quite differently of course. Just be careful would be my advice.

I have been doing my family tree for over 35 years now and I have come across some delicate situations much like yours.
You are doing the right thing and thinking about it all, but as long as its not going to cause a family rift somewhere by bringing it up, or the others dont really need to know you have met, whats the harm. As a fellow genealogist its always exciting meeting new relatives. Good Luck x

You have takem the trouble to research your family tree so why now back away from a connection? Of course you should meet. You may become firm friends or just passiung acquaintances....who knows. Meet her.

How recently has this happened? Is there any rush? Take your time and if you do meet up, start gently so that you can withdraw without causing hurt if you don’t want to get more involved. Perhaps you can exchange messages and find out more before you decide whether or not to meet.

Like others have said do what feels right to you but don’t involve others. I recently got back in touch with a cousin who I have had no contact since childhood. Not quite the same, but it’s lovely to find new family as sadly we lose so many friends and family as we get older.

This DNA tracing of family trees sometimes worries me, for the same reason as you are worried.
I am in contact with someone that is compiling my ex husband's family tree - he and I had started researching it from our side, before my son was born and it has always bugged me it wasn't finished. This person has sent me a lot of info that I am pleased about and as part of an email, asked if I knew anyone had worked in a certain other country because someone had had a DNA test and believed that one of the family members was their father. The only person it could be has passed away and the rest of his direct family have split off in different directions, his wife has health problems. I feel I am too far away to decide on if I should pass on any info but I feel that as far as you are concerned, you could arrange to meet this person, then if you feel comfortable, be the bridge to the other family members.

oh yes, if that we me, I would,, I have lost contact with my nephews, one niece, and cousins over the years... wish someone would contact me... I feel like an orphan, oh, well technically I am, but you know what I mean.
I don`t do this Ancestry stuff though.. they want money!

another

I would say meet up but don't necessarily expect too much to come from it and I would be very careful if she presses to meet the rest of the family, this must be each individuals decision. It would be interesting to hear what her story is and see if you can piece anything together. Good luck and hope it works out for you. If you feel you can do let us know how it goes.

After years of trying to please others, I now do what I want, never mind anyone else.
You are clearly a family tree enthusiast, so get in touch and do whatever feels right for you.

If she wants to meet you, and you want to meet her, then do it. No need to broadcast it far and wide - just do it!

Oh Baubles, this is so exciting! I would definitely meet up with her. It wouldn't be at all wrong. Good luck. Xx

Oh gosh, technology is so brilliant but has given you a dilemma here!

I’d say meet up. You are cousins and she lives nearby. Good you are taking time to mull it over. Go with your gut feeling. What’s right for you.

Best wishes whatever you decide!

I should add that she believes that the man she thinks is her father (my father’s brother) has never known of her existence. He and her mother were very young at the time and my uncle emigrated a few years later. I’m not sure if they had an actual relationship.