downtoearth what a tragedy, one that will never leave you
I stopped work when my first child was born. Otherwise I just got on with life. I had no sudden internal revelations.
I found being at home with young chidren rather boring, much as I loved them, and gave them my time and attention. I used to describe being home with the children, mentally, like living with the blinds half down.
From Day 1, I planned my return to work. I sorted out my professional qualifications, I planned my household routines around juggling home and work. DH had a job that took him away from home a lot, often at short notice for indefinite periods of time. He was entirely supportive of my going back to work - his mother had been the main wage earner his family - and was happy to share childcare - when he was there, but his presence was beyond his control.
There was a local research centre, which offered part ime work, term time only, school hours and when DD went to nursery I returned to work with relief.
I do not remember any kind of special support from midwives, community or hospital, they were just part of the medical team.
I must confess, I have never quite 'got' this 'being a woman' thing. I am who I am and have lived life as it came and absorbed each set of experiences as they came. I had quite an eventful childhood, and marriage and parenthood is the normal progress of most people's lives - or was in the 1970s, so nothing about becoming a parent and bringing up children was really unexpected.