Distant Relative keeps asking to meet up

I met up with an elderly lady and her daughter who are second and third cousins after they contacted me on Ancestry.
We spent a nice few hours together comparing family trees and notes. I didn’t mind at all. Occasionally one of us sends a message but no plans to meet up again, purely a family history thing.

Just before covid I was contacted on Ancestry by someone who was a very close relative. Turned out to be a niece I knew nothing about and neither did her Dad, my brother! He and her Mum (now deceased) were going out together in the early 70s when he lived in another part of the country. They both moved on and she did not tell him she was pregnant and raised her on her own.

She is uncannily like my own daughter, height, hair, eyes, skin, everything. Unfortunately then covid hit and it was ages before they could meet and the reunion was a bit strained. They message occasionally I believe but that’s it.

I,ve been researching my family tree for a few years, my uncle and his family lived in Ireland,I've never met any of them, his wife and him are both dead now, but his granddaughter lives in this country I found her tree on ancestry a couple of years ago, and contacted her, at that time her mother was still alive, and I asked if she could post some photos of her family ,as I only had one of my uncle and would love to see the rest of the family, but she said no, her mum ( who was my cousin ) didn't want her to put any photos on her tree, people have viewed my tree and have messaged me and asked if they could copy photos, and I was glad to say yes, and I have got photos from other family members trees too, but I guess she had her reasons to not share..

Thanks for all your replies. I've not heard anymore since my email to her. I will let you know if I do.

Don't reply to emails.

I would be chuffed to bits to meet up with any relatives, either distant or close. But we are all different and you must do what you feel the most comfortable with. Please let us know what you decide.

It does say: Offer only available with DNA purchase. New and returning subscribers only. Your membership will automatically renew at £49.99 the end of every 3 months after the 3-month introductory offer unless you are notified otherwise.

Like so many businesses special offers are for new customers only

TinSoldier

I can see there's an offer for Ancestry DNA for £59 (usually £79) - ends 10 March. For £1 more you get Worldwide for three months. It's usually £19.99!

www.ancestry.co.uk/c/offers/bundle

Oh, well that's not fair on longstanding users of the site 😯

Brand new customers only?

TinSoldier

I can see there's an offer for Ancestry DNA for £59 (usually £79) - ends 10 March. For £1 more you get Worldwide for three months. It's usually £19.99!

www.ancestry.co.uk/c/offers/bundle

Well somehow I got 3 months for £1 without doing the DNA as I already had that a few years ago.

Dear Distant Relative

Unfortunately we are not researching family connections and history at this time. We are both very busy with work related matters so are not making social plans just now. I do hope you understand. We wish you all the best for the future.

Keep it vague but and cordial and then filter all their emails to go into the spam folder. You can always blame the computer.

I have not heard anymore since the email I sent but I'll let you know if she replies.

I can see there's an offer for Ancestry DNA for £59 (usually £79) - ends 10 March. For £1 more you get Worldwide for three months. It's usually £19.99!

www.ancestry.co.uk/c/offers/bundle

Somehow I have just signed up for 3 months Worldwide Membership on Ancestry for £1 and I have no idea how that happened. I just hope I haven't signed up for something much more expensive by accident.

This shows what you can see for each different Ancestry membership level. There is no additional cost to download data.

tinyurl.com/c9yz9r82

Yes, you can see other people's trees if they have made them public but always check that what they have added is correct.

If cost is a factor, note that for some subscriptions you can pause membership for up to two months at a time if you want to take a break from research. During the pause you can still see the tree you have built but you won't be able to see the results of any further searches.

tinyurl.com/2e7w2jan

Polomint
Something in the back of my mind from talking to a friend who is really into her family history. That sometimes ancestry has a months trial free every so often But it was a while we were talking about it and she was trying to get me back on the trail of our old house history

There is now a charge for the 1901 census records!

polomint

I agree with you bluebelle. You sound a kind person. I would meet up too as I've done family research for 30 years or more. I haven't joined ancestry but I think I may.It is a bit expensive but I think you can tap into public trees but still need to check it's the right person. I know its a monthly subscription but are the bad free to download? Sorry if I've went off topic a bit

Yes, check, double check then triple check on Ancestry, polomint plus other sources.
People put an awful lot of wrong information into their trees then it gets copied by someone else and so the cycle continues.

There are several records which are free to start off with. I started with the 1901 census which was free years ago.

BMD Records:
www.freebmd.org.uk/

I'm not sure how much census information is free now
ukcensusonline.com/census/1901/

BMD I meant to say plus census

I agree with you bluebelle. You sound a kind person. I would meet up too as I've done family research for 30 years or more. I haven't joined ancestry but I think I may.It is a bit expensive but I think you can tap into public trees but still need to check it's the right person. I know its a monthly subscription but are the bad free to download? Sorry if I've went off topic a bit

Germanshepherdsmum

I have what seems to be a distant cousin on GN and I greatly value that connection, as I hope she knows.

Oh that's lovely GSM. I sometimes hope I might stumble upon a long lost friend on GN. Although I suppose that's a bit daft because how would we know who we were through an anonymous site.

Oh common would it hurt so much? You just might enjoy her company but will not know until you meet up

Just say you can’t be bothered with her as you aren’t a nice person!!!
But would it kill you to meet her?

Thanks

Births marriages and deaths Gwyllt

GSM
Thanks for that but what does BMD stand for
Actually I do have a lovely story about my Pop it’s amazing what he achieved considering his start in life
With the post It just crossed my mind what happened to his sibs as in the 1880s I believe many children in orphanages were sent abroad to places such as Canada And haven’t thought about it for many years
I asked about the abbreviation as I had done quite a bit about house histories What with Covid any my health issues had put out present house investigation on hold
Must get back to it