Access to adoption records

Hello.. I am only here to say one thing. My husband's ex partner had a son who was adopted when she was 15. My husband later met and settled with the partner and then the then adult son found her in the late 80s, Although I won't go into details on a public forum the fallout from the adopted son's return was both shocking and horrific. It cost my husband his relationship with his ex partner and ultimately his health. Please please OP tread very very carefully.

My DH was adopted at 4 months old in 1959 when his mum was only 17. We went through the proper channels and we found his birth mother. Sadly she died in 1995 but she married and went on to have 5 children. It was a surprise to discover that she married a Ghanaian and he has a half brother and four sisters all of ethnic origin. We have met them all.
No one could say who my DH birth father was but one name was mentioned. My DH joined Ancestry and did a DNA test and found his birth father who had also died a few years ago. He has 3 half brothers on that side too. It turned out to be the name that was mentioned. He hasn't contacted those brothers though.
If you were born before 1975 you had to be the one to contact the adoption agency.
Nicky Campbell and Davina McCall will have to go through similar procedures with adoptions but will probably have special permission in accessing records.
Good luck in your searching Grayling1.

Quote ...Plenty of adopted children find their birth parents without their parents being aware.
How did you aquire this information

Fidelity2

It always puzzled me why folks want to trace their birth parents. My husband was adopted as a child ,and our son and daughter where both adopted. Neither my Husband ,or our son and daughter were interested in their birth parents. They were told the facts... End of.

Plenty of adopted children find their birth parents without their adoptive parents being aware.

I found the thread because of its title. Can't understand what you are puzzled about.

puzzled me as to how you found this thread from back in july!

It always puzzled me why folks want to trace their birth parents. My husband was adopted as a child ,and our son and daughter where both adopted. Neither my Husband ,or our son and daughter were interested in their birth parents. They were told the facts... End of.

Thank you for your responses to my post. It really was interesting to hear other experiences. Life was really hard back in the late 40's and early 50's and I think adoption was thought to be a good option for the child and I was so fortunate to get the "best Mum and Dad" in the world but for some it wasn't so good. My availabilty for "adoption or boarding out" was advertised in a local newspaper and if boarded out an allowance would be made!!!

I was adopted at six weeks old in 1962. I went through the proper channels to find out who my birth mother was in 1989.

One of the questions I was asked by the social worker who counselled me was what did I want to do with the information. I answered honestly that I did not know, but might know once I had some information.

At the time I decided not to take it forward, not because of any unpleasantness but more because I did not have the drive or motivation then.

Fast forward 2020 and I received a letter from a social worker. I had been found! The youngest sibling had started a search. I learnt my birth mother was still alive and I have three younger siblings. She kept the middle two children and the youngest was also given up for adoption. I have made efforts to meet her through my sister but she is not inclined to want to reciprocate. She also refuses to talk in any detail about of the situations leading to both adoptions. In fact although the middle two siblings were aware of the youngest child being adopted they were completely in the dark about me.

From what she has said it is safe to assume my father is not the father of the middle two siblings but could possibly be the father of the youngest. I've met all of my siblings but not all together. My sister admitted they are not a close family and she also took an instant dislike to the youngest sibling, so doesn't want to meet up with him again.
We chat occasionally via email or text but I think it will fizzle out of its own accord.

I have found it all rather tiresome if I'm honest, having been used to being (and continue to be) very close to my adoptive family.

All this talk of Ancestry.com has however piqued my interest about sending in my DNA!

Good luck Grayling1 with the rest of your search. Perhaps get in touch with Long Lost Family yourself and see if they will take you on? I imagine there are many more searches they do that are never televised.

There is more than one DNA testing company that connects you with DNA relatives. If they have chosen to submit DNA for assessment your brother, or other relatives, might not have chosen Ancestry.com. I think the professionals search through all of the different companies and that is how they are so successful.

I also found my birth mother after requesting my original birth certificate about 20 years ago. All her information was on there, luckily she had an unusual name.It was a disaster though and l wish l hadn't started the search.. Unbelievably she originally came from a village about 15 miles from where l live.
She had moved the US years ago, she met her husband when he was stationed here, she went on to have 3 other children.
I met my grandmother, uncle and, aunt here, all lovely people.
When she came over from the US, we had a day out together in Cambridge, it was surreal to be honest.
It turned out she was a racist and not a nice woman.
It took me years to recover from the damage she caused.
I hadn't thought of looking for my father through ancestry. Com. Probably too late now as I'm mid sixties.
I wish you better luck and much success.

i think workhouses were sometimes called the red house, esp from 1920s onwards, or buildings that had been part of them, to take away some of the stigma.
some were incorporated into the nhs in 1948 and it was a form of re-branding, not to deter people from accessing services there.
i have come across this in a couple of different localities.

I found my birth mother 20 years ago after requesting my original birth certificate. I had to have counselling, and an intermediary contacted my mother. We never met but wrote to each other. She’d gone on to have 5 more children. Eventually it petered out and we didn’t keep in contact.

But fast forward to last year, I had an email from father Hudson homes, who help trace people. My brother was looking for me. He’d gone round in circles and was having no luck, when someone suggested father Hudson homes.
They found me, by using data bases that are not available to the general public.
this maybe something you could try.
Meeting my brother has been amazing, he is such a lovely man.
Hope you are successful. X

Cateq

My dh spent the day at the national register in Edinburgh once he had his birth mother name and date of birth and traced cousins etc

you can do the same on Scotland People online but it does cost for each certificate you look at .

On a similar vein, I tried to find out about "The Red House" apparently a children's home somewhere in Surrey I was sent to in the mid 1950's. Family said my mum was ill and couldn't look after me, but that just wasn't true as I had my dad and an older sister who didn't go with me, plus we lived with maternal grandparents and an aunt and her 4 children so no reason to send me away. I have the feeling they might have tried to get me adopted (no idea why as I was around 3 or 4 at the time). Have never been able to find the place and given up now. I'm 70. Good luck Grayling1. I hope you get some answers.

I was adopted in 1958
I join got in touch with social services who put me in touch with my birth mother but she didn't want to know, 6 months later she wanted to get her n touch.
We met but she didn't feel any connection
I did ancestry.com in 2018 and found my birth dad in America. I had no idea of his name etc. we have had a real good relationship, he didn't even know I existed.
I wish you all the luck you need xx

Knittypamela

I am reading "Finding Margaret " by Andrew Pierce just now. You might find it interesting as he has had so many problems trying to trace his parents. He found his birth mother but she refused to tell him anything. I'm nearly at the end of the book and he's in Ireland trying to get info on his father. It's a very interesting book and just recently published.

I have read theserialisation of this book and listened to him discussing this on TV. He seems a lovely guy.

Another book you might like is Finding Tipperary Mary. Absolutely incredible story.

i've seen people posting on MN with obscure family queries and it's amazing how much information can be pieced together.
there are some real enthusiasts on there. and others who just happen to recognise a date and place of birth.

My dh spent the day at the national register in Edinburgh once he had his birth mother name and date of birth and traced cousins etc

I was adopted in 1963. My birth mother passed away two weeks after my birth and my birth father couldnt cope with a new born (premature) baby. I made contact with Barnardo’s as I had been placed in Babies Castle Children's Home once I was discharged from hospital. They had my birth records, they arranged for me to meet a lady who brought all my birth information, my mothers death certificate and the names of my five siblings. One had passed away. (Sister) one didn’t want to have contact with me (half sister) also a half brother who felt the same way. I met my brother and his family, children and grandchildren. He then took me to meet an Aunt, my dads sister, and her children. Aunt had asked to adopt me and visited me in hospital but because her husband was stationed in Germany they wouldn’t allow her to take me over seas.

Thank you Mollygirl for that information. It explains a lot as I didn't know the situation in England and that obviously explains how Davina and Nikky can carry out their searches. I now know (thanks to Gransnet) I feel I can progress further in my quest to find my brother.

Do get a DNA test from Ancestry .
You put the results on a database. Not sure how it's done so I've added a link here.
I know someone who did this. A half brother also had his name on it and contacted her.
She found other half siblings and her father. Neither knew his name.
I think Ancestry has an offer on at the moment to buy a test.
Good luck.

www.ancestry.co.uk/dna/legal/faq

Hello there
Perhaps doing Your DNA and using ancestry would help🙂🩷

Have you taken a DNA test with ancestry? I am in Australia and my story is similar to yours. My birth mother had three children who were all adopted, I was the eldest born in 1947. I was unaware of the others until I was almost 60 when my younger brother contacted me. He had my name on his birth certificate and used electoral rolls to trace me. We both took DNA tests and were able to find out many details from relatives who were listed on ancestry, finally we were able to put all the pieces together. I’m unsure of regulations in Scotland but we had freedom of information for adoptees brought into law in the 1990’s. Hope you have some success with your search.

It certainly does Shawlands2000! I will send you a PM later on today as have to head out but will say my birth mother also had four children after she married three boys and one girl. This all took place in the late 1940's and life was pretty hard then. I was adopted by a childless couple within a large family and have regarded myself (and was by them all) as a member of the family. My current research was regarding my full brother born 2yrs after me and also adopted and I have used Ancestry as a tool to do this.