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Grandads' shed

Things they will believe

(45 Posts)
dontcallmegramps Fri 21-Oct-11 20:34:17

One of the real joys of being around small children is to tell the outrageous utter ridiculous lie and be believed.
The look of wide eyed wonder or solemn understanding is a pleasure to behold.

Let’s be clear about this - we are in the world of MEN here.
It’s the natural domain of fathers, grandfathers, uncles, even the imaginative big brother.
Women can’t do it - anymore than they can throw or catch.
They will say “ that’s cruel” ( oh get a sense of humour love), they just don’t get it.

Here’s what I mean.
When our daughter was 8 she came upon me enjoying a glass of pastis (could have been Pernod or Ricard...) Seeing my pleasure she asked if she could try it.
I (naturally) let her ( before anyone goes off on one it was only a TINY sip).

Her: “That’s nice! What’s it made from?”

Me: “well you know they make wine by squeezing the juice from grapes?”


“well this is made by squeezing the juice from liquorice allsorts”...

Another example: (I wish I could claim this as my own)...
When we lived in Hackney east London, a chap a few doors down regularly took his grandchildren away for short holidays to a caravan he had in Kent.

He always went through the Blackwall Tunnel or over the Woolwich Ferry.

When he got to the other side of the river he would tell the children that they were now...

You have to admire that.

jogginggirl Fri 21-Oct-11 21:05:26

Well dontcallmegramps - you've really made me giggle tonight. I'm now wondering where I really am - my husband told me we were in France but there was a ferry involved...............gringrin
I hope you receive a warm response from other g/n wink

jogginggirl Fri 21-Oct-11 21:21:25

Also dontcallmegramps - I thought I was married to the only other living breathing person who read Screwfix......gringrin

Notsogrand Fri 21-Oct-11 21:24:34

Love your explanation for Pernod dont! I love Pernod too, it always seems so decadent!

In years gone by my OG spun many a fanciful tale for our girls and later for grandchildren. One really good 'lie' was a dusty and creased old map 'found' in the shed that showed buried treasure with a big X marks the spot. Furious digging resulted in a 'chest' full of charity shop pearls and jewels and pre-decimal coins. Magical reactions! smile

Notsogrand Fri 21-Oct-11 21:25:54

I think one of my SILs sleeps with a Screwfix catalogue under his pillow jogging! grin

nanny1 Fri 21-Oct-11 22:13:56

I think the biggest whopper we all tell is the Santa one!

shysal Sat 22-Oct-11 11:31:36

Leave screwfix alone ! it is my favourite publication. There is something wonderful about those neat containers of nails, drill bits, tools etc.!blush

jogginggirl Sat 22-Oct-11 11:50:28

Notsogrand grin

Annobel Sat 22-Oct-11 12:00:44

don'tcallmegramps, do you mean to say that Pernod isn't made from liquorice allsorts? Another illusion shattered. sad

Elegran Sat 22-Oct-11 12:31:40

Isn't Pernod a version of the "green fairy" ? Licorice would be the black fairy. (No, I'm not being racist, before anyone accuses me. Black is a colour.)

Annobel Sat 22-Oct-11 13:21:57

When my children were young, they firmly believed that my uncle had one heavy leg and one light one.

glammanana Sat 22-Oct-11 13:34:39

When our DCs where little and in the back of the car going through the Mersey Tunnel on day DH told them we can only travel though here when the fish are asleep,he kept up the pretence when the DGCs arrived on the scene and is now a common remark when we go through to Liverpoolconfused

dontcallmegramps Sat 22-Oct-11 18:50:58

Elegran - it the round liquorice allsorts with the little aniseedy type balls on that taste like pernod -try it!

Faye Sun 23-Oct-11 00:25:42

gramps I think I agree, it is something men do well and often. When I first met my now ex husband he told me his name was Josh Martian and he was from Mars. For a nanosecond I thought oh...maybe he is... blush ...I was only sixteen and my other thought at the time was, why on earth would anybody say such a thing. I did get it though, he was teasing!!!!! confused

Elegran Sun 23-Oct-11 11:42:43

gramps I don't like licorice, sorry. But I believe you.

dontcallmegramps Sun 23-Oct-11 12:09:17

The doting Grandma has reminded my of a classic from our archive.

First... essential background there are two GDs ( 4yrs and 9 mnths) from the S and DiL Plus a daughter who currently has baby on the way...
So the GDs have an aunt.

Now, on with the story.

Myself and Doting Grandma went away for a weekend to Sweden and lots of grown up fun things.

Sitting at Gothenburg airport we espied in the shop a doll of the children's character Pippi Longstocking. We looked at it and rather scarily noticed that if a doll were to be made of our Daughter - that would be it!

We bought the doll and back in England said to our oldest GD.

" you don't know this, but your aunty is VERY VERY famous in Sweden"

"Is she?"

"Yes they write books about your aunt's adventures, there are TV programmes, plays... Everyone's heard of her.."

The GD looks rather suspiciously at her mum ( the DiL) who has been primed and plays along.

"Look! They make dolls of your aunt!"

The doubt and suspicion turned to open mouthed glorious belief...

grannyactivist Sun 23-Oct-11 14:46:33

My grandfather had a very deep crease at the back of his neck and, notwithstanding that I was known to be a rather clever child, I REALLY believed that when he was in Africa and captured during WWII he had had his head almost chopped off! I was eleven or twelve years old before I began to question the possibility of this not being a true story. I just could not imagine my grandfather lying to me about something so serious. blush How gullible I was, but I never really trusted what he said after that. [sad

absentgrana Sun 23-Oct-11 15:08:41

It's not just children. My ex son-in-law threatened to call his first son Wyatt until I related in detail how the relationship between Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday was especially close. Both my daughter and her then husband informed all their friends that Wyatt Earp was gay and the son-in-law refused to watch Gunfight at the OK Corral ever again.

em Sun 23-Oct-11 15:13:09

We often took our own 3 to France for holidays and DD1 believed that the French were very kind people because they decorated the town and organised a lovely firework display for her birthday. Yes we told her that for a few years - couldn't resist it as her birthday is 14 July! She willingly forgave us later.

bagitha Sun 23-Oct-11 15:17:04

Love the Pippi story, don'tcallmegramps! i'm going to shorten that to DCMG unless you object.

dorsetpennt Mon 24-Oct-11 13:19:01

My GF told me that thunder was caused by the clouds banging together - I passed that onto my daughter who believed that well into her teens when a boyfriend put her right. I love the story about the ice cream van - that when it's driving with it's tune playing it means he has run out of ice cream!! I told my children (my g/children still too young) that a circle of toadstools meant that fairies had been dancing in the garden and where their toes touched the ground up popped a toadstool. smile Nothing wrong in telling little stories like Santa, tooth fairy etc to little children all part of childhood. My GF used to tell us whoppers and we loved him for it as it was so much fun when we realised he'd tricked us yet again.

goldengirl Mon 24-Oct-11 14:21:41

When I was little my mum and dad used to tell me that thunder was the fairies moving their furniture! I kept up the pretence for their sake! grin

Annika Mon 24-Oct-11 14:57:57

we always told our children, and now our grandchildren that the robin seen in the garden was helping Santa , it was the robin's job to check up on the children and make sure they were begin good so that he would know on christmas eve which boys and girls had been good and only the good ones had presents off Santa wink

em Mon 24-Oct-11 18:28:06

My latest whopper came about last week! GS (2 1/2) was eating lunch with his Buzz Lightyear fork when he started to 'muck about'. I picked up the fork as if answering a phone and had a conversation with Buzz - assuring him that Robbie wasn't really being silly and would finish his lunch nicely 'for Buzz'. It worked a treat and he has even accepted that Buzz can only speak to adults so I have been relaying messages between the two of them!

Annobel Mon 24-Oct-11 19:06:53

Nice one, em - don't think it would wash with my (almost) 4 year-old Buzz-fanatic. He is a born sceptic!

My DS2 (then aged about 3) thought up his own explanation for thunder. Stomping into our bedroom in the middle of a thunderstorm, he indignantly announced: 'Man with big drum waked me up.'