My four year old grandson "doesn't want me"

The main thing is not to be phased when your DGS speaks like this, and most of all do not cajole or try to persuade, or bribe him to think other. Just reassure him that he will be returning home to Mummy, whenever he is due to return to her and get on with the day.

At four it could be something simple like different activities or rules at home, or maybe he gets too much attention at your house, understandably you and his father do not want to leave him to play on his own as the time with him is limited but constant attention can be overwhelming.

This thread is from 2011!

The OP’s 4 year old grandson is 17 now. I hope their relationship is a happy one 😊

Spennithorne24

My sons ex partner has remarried and he has totally brainwashed our 9 yrold grandson against us ,he is so angry ,we had to go to court for my son to get access it’s getting worse instead of better

As this thread is over a decade old, you might be better starting a new one.🙂

This post states it was posted on Sun 08-May-11 17:52:43

This is either a very old post or a mistake.

Blimey, how did this post get resurrected.

Dordor

Sadly my son and his wife split up 6 months ago. Their four year old son still lives with his mother and step brothers but his Dad has him at weekends. They visit us on Sundays, usually. The last few times my grandson has been very whiny and kept asking to go home. Today he kept saying he didn't want me any more, didn't want to be my friend (or to be friends with my daughter's family) or to see us ever again. I did light-heartedly ask him why, as did his Dad, but got nowhere. It wasn't dreadful, just sad, and we both cajoled him and were cheerful but he clearly felt it was important. Was he testing me to make sure I love him when his world has been so strange lately, or is something else?

Dordor
Remember this is a lot of change for a 4 year old , maybe that’s all it is . Just continue to be his Nana & I’m sure all will be fine .

NanaTuesday

Dordor

Sadly my son and his wife split up 6 months ago. Their four year old son still lives with his mother and step brothers but his Dad has him at weekends. They visit us on Sundays, usually. The last few times my grandson has been very whiny and kept asking to go home. Today he kept saying he didn't want me any more, didn't want to be my friend (or to be friends with my daughter's family) or to see us ever again. I did light-heartedly ask him why, as did his Dad, but got nowhere. It wasn't dreadful, just sad, and we both cajoled him and were cheerful but he clearly felt it was important. Was he testing me to make sure I love him when his world has been so strange lately, or is something else?

Dordor
Remember this is a lot of change for a 4 year old , maybe that’s all it is . Just continue to be his Nana & I’m sure all will be fine .

He's seventeen now.

Once again, people who do not read any other posts! The ‘child’ is now 17!

Please can anyone tell me how these old posts get resurrected
Whenever I try to find an old post even 6 months old it won’t allowed me any further
What magic do these people have ? how do they find them ? and how do they resurrect them ?
Sone teckky will be able to tell me I hope, as I m always curious about this

Our only little monkey grandson did exactly the same, his parents are still together. He’s 9 now and back to normal. Please try not too worry

Ooops forgot to read the date AGAIN WHY do these old posts suddenly pop ??

Let’s hope this 17 year old and his Grandma are now enjoying each other’s company and he’s not still whining and asking to go home to mummy each time he visits. If he is I’d definitely put my foot down 😀

My son is now living apart from his family, as wife proceeded with a third child he didn’t want. Baby is now ten months old.Son is happy for me to mind her once a week now mother is back at work. But I’m struggling to bond with her, given she is so central to their split, and feel conflicted, as she looks exactly like my son at the same age

Your son needs to give his head a wobble. Babies take two to exist. It's not a vulnerable wee baby's fault for existing. And that goes for you too, I'm sorry to say. My son looked identical to his father, my exh. It didn't stop me loving him. If you can't love that child unconditionally, stop childcare. What happens to the other two children? Do you see them as better? Does the mum know you look after baby number three? Or are you doing it when your ds has custody! There's a lot missing from your post.

Exactly Grandmabatty. My son also looks like my horrible ex but that doesn’t stop me loving him either. In fact he is the reason I can never regret the marriage. I didn’t care for the phrase ‘wife proceeded with a third child he didn’t want’. That infers that he wanted her to have a termination. Whatever the circumstances, the son doesn’t come out of this well and neither does the grandmother. Poor unwanted and unloved baby.

.

He must have had some part in this pregnancy?
Then leaves his wife and family because she wanted another baby and he didn't.

You can't bond with her because this child, who did not ask to be born is central to their split?

What a shallow person he sounds and you are blaming an innocent child for your son's appalling behaviour.
He needs a kick ip the a*se.
Sorry, in the words of Victor Meldrew ""I don't believe it".

I imagine he’s just adjusting. Could it be he’s used to having been with his mummy full time, and now your son has him weekends and you see him Sundays - by Which hes not been able to be with his mummy in two days and he simply prefers her and wants to go home? I know at that age it’s
Of our grands would have been heartbroken to be away from mummy for a few days at a time seems just a very attached age.

Cossy

Ooops forgot to read the date AGAIN WHY do these old posts suddenly pop ??

Ugh yes. So sorry everyone. I must learn to check the dates !

Readerjb

My son is now living apart from his family, as wife proceeded with a third child he didn’t want. Baby is now ten months old.Son is happy for me to mind her once a week now mother is back at work. But I’m struggling to bond with her, given she is so central to their split, and feel conflicted, as she looks exactly like my son at the same age

You’re struggling yo bond with a sweet baby because your son forgot that unzipping his trousers was his choice ? How bizarre. If my son had split up his family over an unintended pregnancy and was acting as though she did it against his wishes I’d give him
A firm dressing down and express what a disappointment he was , as it turns out as both a son and a father and then I’d lend my support to his ex wife and children wherever possible. Struggling to bond with baby as if the baby and not your son , who was a willing participant in the baby making act were the problem.

Very harsh Grams2five.

But true.

mumofmadboys

Very harsh Grams2five.

Yes, straight to the point.

👍

Germanshepherdsmum

But true.

Sorry, meant to quote Germanshepherdsmum

Yes, and straight to the point.

👍