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Protecting the rights of people with Special Needs

(35 Posts)
supernana Wed 25-May-11 12:42:13

The distressing case of Fiona Pilkington and her daughter makes me weep. Thirty three calls for help...all unheeded. It is a shameful reflection on society that permits innocent, vulnerable individuals to be hounded and harrassed to death. angry

greenmossgiel Wed 01-Jun-11 14:43:30

I agree, supernana. I cannot imagine the absolute despair and fear that the lady and her daughter must have experienced. It's unbelievable that no-one picked up on the fact that the persecution of these poor people was taking place. It's bad enough that the police did nothing. What about those people around and about where they lived? Surely someone noticed something? Or, because perhaps the lady and her daughter both appeared to be vulnerable, did uncaring neighbours just shrug their shoulders and think that it was up to 'the authorities' to sort out? On thinking about it, are we not all 'the authorities', and we should keep a weather eye open for those in our community that are vulnerable?

supernana Wed 01-Jun-11 15:03:24

greenmossgiel, the parents of those individuals responsible for driving Fiona to suicide should [but I doubt it] feel ASHAMED...or perhaps they were too busy harrassing other vunlnerable folk to give a fig about the "antics" of their own flesh and blood. The hooligans, their parents and ultimately the authorities let this lady and her daughter down - along with those "in the know" who ducked behind their net curtains and in turn aided and abetted the abuse.

greenmossgiel Sat 04-Jun-11 18:01:10

Supernana - It's a real worry that standards are becoming lost with regards to 'looking out' for one another. Quite a vulnerable lady, who has a degree of learning difficulty was assisted by the council to move to our village after being teased and tormented by local mindless youths/girls in our nearby town. This seemed to continue for a while, probably because 'word' had got around at their school that the lady had been moved to the village. As she was living in a cottage nearby, we, and other close neighbours were able to ensure that she felt safe, by contacting the police when trouble seemed to be starting off. The community policewoman makes her presence felt now and again, too, which is a good thing. The lady knows that she has a good number of neighbours that look out for her, and no longer seems to be apprehensive as she goes about her business. (Our village isn't the 'picture-postcard' type by the way!) smile

vanessalottie Tue 07-Jun-11 11:16:34

Hi, I have a daughter with special needs aged 11 and i am afraid lots of people are just not tolerant, is it fear or ignorance i wonder. Was out shopping the other day coming down the esculator, my daughter often "looks" at people as she does not understand not to stare, an elderly man shouted at her "what are you looking at" she became confused and lowered her head, i explained she didn't understand but i am so tired of having to explain to people, my dd is lovely and would not hurt a fly, she just enjoy's going out and taking everything and everyone around her in. We are all different, don't want much just a smile from that man would have made her day but instead she couldn't understand what she had done to make him shout at her. x

Proudgrandma Mon 27-Feb-12 13:21:17

I've got a beautiful grandson of 3, who has severe brain damage, severe CP, and other health problems.
Was wondering if there's any grans out there with grandchild/children with a special needs grandchild/children?

Zephrine Mon 27-Feb-12 13:26:33

Hi Proud I have a severely brain damaged grandson as well, he is beautiful and loving and thankfully generally a happy soul. He goes to a very good school where he is cared for brilliantly and at last my daughter gets one weekend a month respite care for him which allows the rest of the family some time to do things that they can't do with him.

gwendy63 Fri 27-Apr-12 01:43:30

Hi, myself and DH have Special Guardianship of DGS. DD and myself just been DX with Aspergers, starting process to get DGS assessed. Any tips/help from anyone on this subject?

rojon Thu 23-Aug-12 23:08:25

I have an adult son with cerebral palsy and my heart is breaking for him. He is in an abusive relationship with a sexualy experienced woman who is abusing him physically and financially. I've taken advice from my local social services who have agreed that it a safeguarding issue. I've asked him to take certain steps to safeguard himself but I'm not at all sure he will do as promised as he lives a long way away. I will know if he hasn't taken the safety steps I've asked him to take and will have no hesitation in informing his local Social Services of this Safeguarding issue even if he hates me for it.

Sewsilver Thu 23-Aug-12 23:39:34

Rojon, I am so sorry you are going through this .it's such a difficult dilemma but I think you are right to do what you can to protect him. I am also in the middle of a safeguarding issue with my son. In his case I think social services have put him at risk by rigidly applying MCA. I have found gransnetters on here to be amazingly supportive so even though I am stressed and sometimes also feeling as if my heart will break I can take comfort from all the kindness.

grannyactivist Thu 23-Aug-12 23:43:12

rojon if the Social Services have agreed there is a safeguarding issue your son may be classed as a 'vulnerable adult'. You can talk to someone in his local police force to check this out and take advice about your son's situation. I've found my relative's police to be more approachable and helpful than other services. You're in a horrible situation and I'm very sorry for what you're going through. (((hugs)))

jeni Thu 23-Aug-12 23:44:03

I feel you are doing the right thing!
Unfortunately, some people seem to seek out abusive relationships and need to be safeguarded.
I hope all goes well for you and your son!
You know we are always here if you want help, advice, or just to vent your feelings.

rojon Fri 24-Aug-12 18:12:42

Thankyou all for your replies. They made me feel like crying but at the same time it was as if a big bubble had burst in my stomach. The police and paramedics in the three locations where incidents have taken place have been superb and I know on at least one occasion they have reported the incident to Social Services.
He at least had the gumption to call the police but this woman is so clever and he so wants to do the 'normal' thing of having a girlfriend who must be able-bodied.
I'm afraid I don't understand this idea that so many disabled people seem to have that only an able partner is acceptable. He did explain that when he looks at his disabled female friends he sees how the able world sees him.

rojon Fri 24-Aug-12 18:24:49

are there any Gransnetters who agree with me and a couple of other parents that main stream education for disabled children is not neccessarily a good thing. Yes they get a better education but at what price to their self-esteem.

My son is one of several I know all approaching their thirties and some with degrees but non have jobs and non have friends except those they made while in special ed. What was the point apart from saving money

rojon Sun 14-Oct-12 22:27:10

An update on my son's situation. Due to a family bereavement I could not take the action I planned. He is still in this abusive relationship and although the physical abuse doesn't seem to have escalated she is pressurising him to sack his trustees. He can't easily do this and his financial adviser is well in the picture with regard to the situation. I have taken advice from someone who counsels abused men and we as a family will be following that advice.
She is so so clever. She would wipe the boards at the oscars. I know that he knows that she is just with him for his money and can only pray that he will get out of this relationship without too much damage being done to his self esteem. I know that he is frightened of her and that she has threatened us and his solicitor. She has ties with the criminal world.

Jendurham Mon 12-Nov-12 10:37:51

My grandson is ASD. We knew when he was little that he was different.
Noises made him scream. He is in a mainstream school, and has friends who look after him, but you have to watch all the time.
There are some who tease him, but they will stick up for him if anyone is nasty.
When my son and his partner moved to this area, he was sent to a different school on the outskirts of Durham. He never progressed at all in that school.
He is ten and the school he is at are going to ask him to do the Sats this year.
He has a 1 to 1 assistant for half the time.
When he was starting school in a village in East Anglia, they were asked if they wanted him statemented. They were not sure, but having been a teacher myself and having another son and daughter in law who are teachers, we all said do it before he goes to school, otherwise it will take too long to get into the system.
I do not think that my grandson could survive in a special school, particularly for autistic children because of the noise element. On bonfire night he wore ear defenders because of the noise and still wanted to go home.

rojon Wed 19-Dec-12 21:17:39

Do you mean a school specifically for Autistic children? I have been a parent govenor in a school for children whose main disability was physical, mostly cerebral palsy and also in a mainstream school. I found the special school was much quieter than the mainstream school. The numbers in the special school were so much smaller with classes averaging six that it would have been impossible for a high level of noise to be generated. I have visited other PH and LD schools and found them similar although I have never visited a school purely for Autistic children. Is that what you meant?

trendygran Thu 20-Dec-12 19:12:02

Jendurham. Like rojon I'm sure your Grandson would find an ASD School much quieter than a Mainstream school. Yes, there will be some noisy times if a child has meltdown,but ,in general a peaceful atmosphere is the aim. I
worked in one for many years ,so do have some experience in that field. Unfortunately places in ASD Schools are not easy to find ,but ,with a statement , it should be easier. Good Luck,whatever you and your family decide.

Gemmasue Mon 04-Mar-13 08:56:35

There is a Learning to Change Cumbria Disability Information Day at Rheged, Penrith,Cumbria on Friday 8th March 2013, 10am to 2.30pmit is the largest exhibition in Cumbria, North East and the Borders dedicated to those with disabilities and/or additional needs, their families and the professionals who work with and support them. Entry is free. There are over 100 stands plus free seminars, and a crèche facility.
Learning to Change Cumbria is a parent led forum dedicated to improving services for families with children/young adults with disabilities/additional needs
As a Grandparent but also have a 16year old with an acquired brain injury I will definitely be going

newgran1 Mon 18-Mar-13 15:01:15

my daughter has ASPERGERS SYNDROME ... she is now 26 but used to stare at people when she was younger and got abuse for doing so ...

newgran1 Mon 18-Mar-13 15:08:24

there are not enough schools that specialise in autism .. we tried mainstream schools but so little understanding ..... my daughter has been sectioned for the last three years due to not getting the help she needed when she was young

Gemmasue Mon 18-Mar-13 19:11:10

Hi newgran I agree there are not enough schools that specialise. We also tried mainstream but it did not work out. We are fortunate to have found a special school that meets her needs at present and are looking at colleges to help improve her life and social skills.......she also has ASD traits
After that I do not know, she is not able to live independently and will need 24 hour support so we have some difficult decisions to make.
I am so sorry your daughter has been sectioned, is she close to your home so you can visit her often? I do hope she is happy and staff are caring and understanding.

newgran1 Mon 18-Mar-13 19:53:31

no she is 2 hr drive and 2 hrs back so weekly visits are all we can do ....its getting harder and harder to put on a happy face

a constant round of meetings and tribunals but because of her age they dont want her returning home .. her nephew was born 1st nov 2012 and shes yet to meet him ..but we soldier on pretending we are ok

i hope you get the help you need

FlicketyB Mon 18-Mar-13 19:54:40

Gemmasue Gird your loins and prepare for mammoth battles when your DD reaches 18. Her Local Authority has consistently tried to get my niece with similar problems into accommodation that was entirely unsuitable, leaving her alone and unsupervised most of the time. They say that she can socialise with other people in the flats, but provide no community meeting room, and ignoring the fact that someone with learning difficulties and severe Aspergers, is highly unlikely to voluntarily seek the company of others she does not know. .

I assume you know about the National Autism Society. They can give a lot of help and support to parents

newgran1 Mon 18-Mar-13 21:20:24

i had no real help till my daughter turned 18 then social services seemed to think she should be moved into supported living
we tried once and i found the same thing ... unsupervised .. left to fester in her room all day so we took her out
she did not want friends and still does not
care for Autism is disgusting to say the least
at the moment it is out of our hands but we have to go by the professionals