"Hands-on Gran" or "Hands off, Gran"

I am lucky to have a daughter and son who let me prattle on about what is good or not good for their children. Sometimes I cannot help myself, although I do try to keep my mouth shut !
I think it depends on 'how' you say things.
Neither of my children have any problem with telling me to back off if they think I am wrong but mostly they just raise their eyes or laugh at me ! We all tend to be pretty blunt and not mince our words. I guess it would not be so good though, if one of them were sensitive or if I was !

Only yesterday, my daughter said to me 'Mum, how old do I have to get before you think I can make a right decision ??'

Very interesting thread, I am a working mum missing my two little ones (almost 3 and 1 and a half). My parents dont see my little ones for various reasons connected with my childhood. It breaks my heart. I know they (my children) are missing out as well as my parents missing out but I feel powerless to change it. All I can say is anyone who makes a positive contribution to their grandchildren's lives is a real blessing both to their grandchildren and their own children (in supporting them as parents). They are so so lucky to have you.

maxgran I'm nearly 63 and my mother still doesn't think I am capable!

maxgran, you obviously have a great relationship with your children. I always felt, especially with my first, that he was prepared to treat me as a equal even when he was a toddler! Now they both (middle aged family men) treat me with healthy irreverence but I know there is affection and - somewhere deep down - respect behind it!

How great to have the choice. My grandchildren live the other side of the world and I long to spend time with them. My daughter and son-in-law are desperate for Mr absent and I to emigrate so that we can all be together. She is hoping to study for a midwifery degree and won't be able to do that or work the kinds of hours required by such a job without an on-the-spot family member for childcare – there are four, soon to be five grandchildren. The other set of grandparents are lovely but don't live very close by and have lots of other grandchildren requiring their attention too, plus they both work full time.

That's really sad redblue - can you not consider trying to mend a few bridges somehow?

Kitty - Ha ha ! I will still be nagging my daughter if I am lucky enough to still be here when she is 63 !
I may criticise my son and daughter but I am careful not to say things infront of their husband/ wife. What is acceptable to my own kids would probably not be viewed very favourably by their partners.

Annobel,.. It never fails to surprise me, when my daughter or son have scoffed at me for saying something and then months or years later they come up with the same thing and claim it as their own discovery ! I DO have a great relationship with them both and I think its because I was a single parent for a big part of their childhood and were like a 'team' with me as the boss ( of course) ;-)