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Desperately seeking grandparents

(13 Posts)
Maddy2102 Sun 20-May-12 22:11:16

Hi. I'm a mum to 2 lovely little boys aged 4 year and 9 months.

Both my husband and I have parents alive but mine live a long way away and my husbands have no interest in our 2.

I just feel as if my kids have so much to give and are missing out on having grandparents to love them and spend time with them

My husband works away during the week and my 4 year old starts school in September-,I know it seems odd but I just so want them to experience acing loving and caring grandparents like I did

We live in the Bournemouth area- would anybody be interested in meeting us?


whenim64 Sun 20-May-12 23:03:49

Good luck Maddy2102. Unfortunately, I don't live near you but I hope someone is able to point you in the right direction smile

Bellesnan Mon 21-May-12 10:26:41

Hi Maddy - that's sad. I have four grandchildren but sadly my son and d-i-l have chosen to cut themselves off from us so I haven't seen them for a couple of years. I have to give all my love to my daughter's children and when we saw them on Saturday I was greeted with lots of "nanny" "nanny", kisses and jumping up and down by 20 month old Sam. What is wrong with families and relationships? I cannot understand your husband's parents attitude and would love to come and play silly games with your kids if I lived nearer. Hope you can adopt a nanny and grandad soon x

AlisonMA Mon 21-May-12 10:57:04

Good luck Maddy. I wish I lived nearer to you. I already have 2 grandson but my DiL makes it very difficult for us to enjoy them and is making my DS's life a misery about it.

Have you tried Mumsnet as well? There could be someone who knows someone.............

Mishap Mon 21-May-12 12:21:20

What a lot your OH's parents are missing! - silly them is all I an say!

Just to be very very boring - do not forget that we are on the net here and your post is available to anyone anywhere, genuine or troublesome - you might need to do a bit of vetting if someone comes forward. Kinky folk are very plausible!

AlisonMA Mon 21-May-12 13:21:55

Well said mishap I hadn't thought of that.

Maddy2102 Mon 21-May-12 20:43:07

Hi everyone, thanks for your messages. I know what you mean mishap, and of course we would vet anyone who was willing to step forward.
To be honest, it's just really hurtful that the in laws dont want to know- they are only 5 miles away, but have made their feelings clear. bizarrely we had a better relationship before the kids came along.

My babas have so much love to give- boys tend to be very kissy cuddly (at least when they're little ;)) and we love them to bits.

It just feels like something is missing from their little lives- you can't beat a nanna cuddle!

My grandads both passed when I was very young, but both my nannies left such an impression on me, and I want that for my 2.

Thank you all again, you all sound lovely, and your grand kids are lucky to have you.

Lots of love- ill continue my search sad xxx

POGS Mon 21-May-12 22:30:57


I so wish I lived near to you but I'm sorry I live in the Midlands.

Is it too wild a suggestion to ask at your local Senior Citizens centre if they think there is anyone they think could help you out. There is a huge generation gap I know but that doesn't mean there is not someone with a very lively, young attitude to life who could be looking for you to help them out. You need to explain what contact you feel comfortable with from the start and you may just be surprised at the reaction, they can only say no can't they!.

Remember in september you will meet other mums at school and you may feel loads better.

Maddy2102 Tue 22-May-12 08:23:30

Thanks for your message Pogs. Don't get me wrong, my 4 year old goes to pre-school and a childminder so we have friends, good friends, but just would love some grandparents they can spend time with.

Thanks for the tip! X

Mishap Tue 22-May-12 08:30:50

Or you could get a message put out through the local U3A network.

Crazy in-laws you seem to have! - my GC are the joy of our lives.

AlisonMA Tue 22-May-12 10:14:02

Oh this is so sad. I was in the same situation, at first we did have a grandad but then he died and my 3 boys were left without anyone. I did have a mother but she wasn't interested and lived far away. I know exactly how you feel Maddy but I never did find anyone. I'm now trying to be the parent I would have liked to have had when I was my sons' ages.

Maddy2102 Tue 22-May-12 20:38:38

Hi AlisonMA I am doing my best to be all things for my 2. My hubby works away during the week so I am single mama until the weekends.

I have some good friends, so it isn't loneliness, just sadness on what my kids are missing out on. Silly nanna things - grandparents usually have the time and dedication to do things us mere parents cant do.

My nannies were so lovely- I have nothing but fond memories of growing up and having them in my life.

I'm going to keep on looking- I know they're out there x

AlisonMA Wed 23-May-12 16:03:06

Good for you Maddie, I didn't have the Internet to help me and we moved several times because of my husband's job which made it even more difficult. I thought we were close to getting some but then they moved to be nearer their daughter which was a shame as they had no grandchildren.

I also understand about being all things as my husband was away often and when he was home came in after the boys had gone to bed when they were small.

I just wanted someone to spoil mine a bit and let them do things I didn't and maybe give them a biscuit before tea once in a while. All the little things parents feel they can't do.