Buying gifts for grandchildren

My DiL is a resourceful mum. GD (quite small or her age but now growing fast) has inherited some lovely outfits from taller children. GS is a big lad and can't so easily fit into other boys' clothes. His clothes often go to his two younger cousins. Ebay is frequently a source of good clothes.

MY daughters made friends with five other mothers at a Mums and Toddlers group and baby clothes went round and round amongst them. By the time my daughter had her third child, she recognised some clothes coming back that she had first had new! She is still in contact with all the other mothers 29 years later.

I told my daughter about the mother sending back the clothes and she couldn't believe anyone could be so rude. GS has survived happily in 2nd and 3rd hand clothes, some have been backwards and forwards between the same sets of parents several times. Any new clothes she was given for him were a bonus.

Babies have no knowledge of clothes so you are really buying presents for their parents. I am afraid I would simply stop buying anything for this rather nasty pair.

I was lucky, when my first grandchildren were born 29 years ago (seven months apart - two daughters!) their mothers were delighted with my knitted cardigans. I remember how long it took to make complete suits of leggings, jackets and hats! When some of them were teenagers, they actually asked me to knit jumpers for them - very fine wool for the girls, with tiny beads sewn in. Their friends wanted them too.
Many grandparents buy expensive wooden toys when young children actually prefer brightly-coloured plastic. And I have never known a baby who could play with a three-foot high teddy bear.

Fortunately my daughter's main requirements are that clothes should fit and go in the washing machine. (Admittedly we are both fairly obsessive about colours and have both been known to re dress the poor child if his father has got him ready!)
Actually she was a great example of not wasting money and time on baby clothes. When she was born my MiL gave me an exquisite set of dress, leggings, jacket and shawl, which she had knitted in finest lambswool to a very complicated pattern. As soon as I felt up to it I painstakingly dressed her in all this finery and we went to show off to Granny in London. As soon as we arrived she threw up an entire feed over the lot and we spent the rest of the day in a haze of baby sick and wet wool pong. I don't think she ever wore any of it again and it was back to the Babygros.

You might find some nice gifts from this site:

Lovely Little Gift Shop

I agree with the poster who said "They will learn; it may take a few weeks, but it will come". My DD was very fussy about clothes when our only grandson was tiny; if I bought him anything she didn't approve of, she was always very polite about accepting it, but he was never seen to wear it. They disappeared into the big charity shop black hole! As we used to look after him regularly, I kept lots of things here that I had bought from supermarkets and changed him into John Lewis or Next or (scandalous waste of money) MiniBoden, before he went home. Eventually, she came round to the fact that supermarkets sell really quite nice, good quality clothes for kids, and now shops in them regularly for him. As for knitting, I knitted a lot for him when he was small and DD was quite happy to put him in my handknits (you can get really cool patterns for kids now). However, GS will not now wear anything knitted ("they itch me, nanny" or "it's too hot!"), so all last year's aran and cable sweaters remain unworn. I hope your son and daughter in law comes to realise the effect their ingratitude is having on you. You stick to your guns and don't let this spoil your enjoyment of your grandchild.

When I was on Skye there was a lovely craft shop that sold beautiful handknitted baby clothes, would have bought the lot but knew they would never be worn by GC

You can get Tshirts that say something like, ' Grandchildren are the compensation we get for being parents'. My DS & DDIL are very nice about anything we get for the grandsons but funnily enough, the toys that make loud noises and the drums, tambourines and whistles always seem to end up at our house for them to play with when they are here

My Mum was very good at knitting Fairisle jumpers. The boys disliked them because they itched, but when we had an 'official' photo taken, they were compelled to wear them - can't remember what the inducement was! DS2 was particularly fussy and still is.

Gally - have you tried the CHAS (Children's Hospice Association) charity shop in Kinross? They often have beautifully knitted baby cardigans etc that lovely ladies have knitted to raise funds for CHAS. I know you are in Fife so should be ok for you. I can't knit so am in awe of some of the beautiful things people make.

I've just given a nice tuneful colour full xylophone to my DGGD . MyDD is complaining that DDGD won't let DD play with it?
As she is also fascinated by my celtic harp. I have bought ac lilly harp for her!

Happygran1964 a very insensitive response to your kind gifts.

DD1 is fussier than DD2 about clothes but I would be v disappointed (with them) if they returned gifts because they did not like them. I think that to do what OP said..take pic and then give to charity is a bit more thoughtful.

Re gift..I think a book that will be long lasting..e.g a hardback copy of Winnie the Pooh or book of children's poetry that you can write a message in and he will be able to keep would be my suggestion. Good luck & just enjoy your little grandson.x

It's OK jeni - we'll do it for you!

ME!KNIT?!!!
You must be JOKING?

Anagram, I agree....their little legs just don't look right in jeans! A lovely cosy 'pram suit' - I'd love to knit one of those right now!!

Oh, green, I know! If any of us had a newborn baby, I'm sure we'd absolutely love him/her to be dressed in cosy nighties and hand-knitted matinee coats! Times and fashions change - but I can't help thinking that some of the babies you see wearing denim jeans and baby baseball boots look very uncomfortable!

Hmm, perhaps that idea of mine wasn't all that good, then - ! I just thought it would impress them - you know, like in the past, when you bought a wooden toy from Habitat (?) as a present for your well-off friend's child (and it had skint you to do it!)
I think all grandmas want to knit something for their new grandhild, though, don't they? And we all have the feeling that we'll be unlikely to see the baby wearing it , especially after the first week or so!

Annobel
My daughter in Sydney has asked me to look out for some baby cardigans/matinee jackets for her next soon to be born baby, 'you know Mum, the sort of cardis that little old ladies knit'!! I have been lurking in all the charity shops, but no luck so far. I would knit one myself, but as I am still on the one I started for her 1st baby 8 years ago, I don't think there's much chance of me finishing it this time round. My girls are always grateful for anything I buy for their children, whether it's from Asda (brilliant stuff), Tesco, or charity shops, or very occasionally from John Lewis (in the sale) and now The Oz daughter can order on line from Next and get it sentfrom the UK far more cheaply than it would cost me to send by Royal Mail.

My dd seems to approve of the things I've bought so far ( luckily)
I go for well made colourful low maintance clothes!
I just keep my eyes open when travelling and look for bargains. I usually buy a larger size than she is as they sprout rather than grow!

My DS washed my beautifully knitted baby jumpers with the nappies.

Hand knit clothes are not as aceptable as they used to be. New mothers, I know, have taken a photo of baby in the outfit and then put it in a charity bag. If people want designer baby clothes then they must buy them themselves, I would go with a toy.
I agree that Tesco baby clothes are good value and they wash well, after all how long does a baby wear an outfit ? a week or two probably.

Like the others I think it is rude to return presents lovingly bought and I certainly wouldn't buy any more clothes. How about being the "book" granny and just buy books. You can get lovely black and white cloth books for tiny babies which they do look at, then board books, then other books. I am sure they will be appreciated.

Ithink almost all clothes seem to be made in china and this worries me as they are not as scrupulous as we are in their chemical dressings on clothes. I always buy Next or M&S with a gift receipt for here and only sales clothes for my two GCs abroad. Then I don't care what happens. My SIL abroad always washed clothes on a very hot cycle which ruined most things as he never really liked anything I bought but now he has realised that children will wear what they want and quite often they look as tho' no one cares-so is grateful for M&S input

I always ask my DiLs for ideas for presents. One of them is brilliant with suggestions, often giving me an Ebay link. And what I buy for her son is often appropriate for the other two as well. All too soon they will reach the stage when only hard cash will do!