Gransnet forums


Buying gifts for grandchildren

(34 Posts)
Happygran1964 Wed 23-May-12 09:41:33

I am a new granny and still learning all the 'rules'

I hate to say it but my son and dil are a bit snobbish and have returned some of the outfits I have bought for baby Harry because they don't like items with writing or characters on or they have been bought from supermarkets!! They seem to expect clothes from exclusive boutiques which is a joke as we are on a debt management plan!!

I feel really hurt by this, should I say something or just not bother to buy things for my little grandson?

Thanks for any replies.

greenmossgiel Wed 23-May-12 09:48:19

Oh my goodness! How about knitting a few things for the baby? What shops do they think the clothes should be bought from!!!! If it's not possible to knit something, then hold back from buying anything. Perhaps it will dawn on them that they've hurt you.

glassortwo Wed 23-May-12 09:54:38

Happy They are being a very uncaring by returning your gifts!!!

I would hold back from buying any clothes if their standards are so high!!!

If you feel you want to but Harry something buy a first activity toy surely that cant being classed as from 'the wrong' shop, if you were to go to ELC they have lots of early development toys starting from under £5.

Annobel Wed 23-May-12 09:55:45

Welcome Happygran. Don't let this snobbery spoil your pleasure in your new grandson. If you root around TK Max, you can often find designer baby clothes for much less than the original price. As or supermarket baby clothes - I think Tesco does really good organic cotton things. But I think your son and DiL are being ridiculously fussy and ungrateful. I really don't think Harry will care what he wears but he will value his gran's love and cuddles. smile

Elegran Wed 23-May-12 10:01:45

I assume this is their first child and they have not realised yet that a child can reduce the most expensive item to a dishrag once it has been washed twenty times? Or that when it come to children's clothes you need many times the number you first thought of, to change a dozen times a day?

A child is not a doll, to be arrayed in the best of everything and displayed in a glass case.

They will learn. Watch out for the bulk buys of supermarket togs. It may take a few weeks, but it will come. Then you can produce the things they rejected, which you have put away for just that moment.

Anagram Wed 23-May-12 10:20:54

That is so rude! To actually return your gifts, saying they don't like them - I am absolutely horrified. I can imagine how hurt you feel, Happygran.

I'm in agreement with glass - well-made (but not necessarily expensive) toys are probably the answer. I'm afraid even hand-knitted clothes are looked down upon by some designer-obsessed couples!

absentgrana Wed 23-May-12 10:37:19

Happygran Insensitive, rude and, frankly, ridiculous. No wonder you feel hurt. I should avoid clothes all together when buying presents for your new grandson and stick to Early Learning and similar toys. No doubt, time will modify your son's and daughter-in-law's views and – we hope – give them a more realistic and kinder perspective.

The best and most valuable thing you can do for your new grandson (congratulations, by the way) is to be a loving granny. It's a unique and very special gift to a child (and a delight to a granny). flowers

goose1964 Wed 23-May-12 10:50:55

My daughter is also fussy about what her son wears - but in a different way - she doesn't care where the clothes are bought or what they cost, but she will not have anything she considers "chavvy" so tracksuit bottoms are out as are some, but not all. hoodies . I've bought him his first Xmas present already - a Thomas the Tank Engine Xmas DVD - as he'll be close to his first birthday he may be able to watch some of it but I know his, dad, uncles & grandfathers will be watching it

JessM Wed 23-May-12 11:43:51

my DIL was given mountains of baby clothes first time. She took a lot of them back and traded them for a few boutiquey items that she really fancied.
Women enjoy the process of kitting out our own babies i think - right back into the days when pregnant women sewed their own layette.
It is fun buying clothes for grandchildren that cannot be denied. (much more fun than buying things for myself!) In time the children develop their own preferences.
These days I ask "what do they need at the moment" and she quickly responds with something like "underwear" or "swim things" so I can keep a look out for the right kind of bargains.

Annobel Wed 23-May-12 11:55:23

I always ask my DiLs for ideas for presents. One of them is brilliant with suggestions, often giving me an Ebay link. And what I buy for her son is often appropriate for the other two as well. All too soon they will reach the stage when only hard cash will do!

Stansgran Wed 23-May-12 12:11:39

Ithink almost all clothes seem to be made in china and this worries me as they are not as scrupulous as we are in their chemical dressings on clothes. I always buy Next or M&S with a gift receipt for here and only sales clothes for my two GCs abroad. Then I don't care what happens. My SIL abroad always washed clothes on a very hot cycle which ruined most things as he never really liked anything I bought but now he has realised that children will wear what they want and quite often they look as tho' no one cares-so is grateful for M&S input

wisewoman Wed 23-May-12 14:36:14

Like the others I think it is rude to return presents lovingly bought and I certainly wouldn't buy any more clothes. How about being the "book" granny and just buy books. You can get lovely black and white cloth books for tiny babies which they do look at, then board books, then other books. I am sure they will be appreciated.

harrigran Wed 23-May-12 18:48:30

Hand knit clothes are not as aceptable as they used to be. New mothers, I know, have taken a photo of baby in the outfit and then put it in a charity bag. If people want designer baby clothes then they must buy them themselves, I would go with a toy.
I agree that Tesco baby clothes are good value and they wash well, after all how long does a baby wear an outfit ? a week or two probably.

Annobel Wed 23-May-12 19:35:34

My DS washed my beautifully knitted wink baby jumpers with the nappies. sad

jeni Wed 23-May-12 19:42:39

My dd seems to approve of the things I've bought so far ( luckily)
I go for well made colourful low maintance clothes!
I just keep my eyes open when travelling and look for bargains. I usually buy a larger size than she is as they sprout rather than grow!

Gally Wed 23-May-12 19:48:50

Annobel shock
My daughter in Sydney has asked me to look out for some baby cardigans/matinee jackets for her next soon to be born baby, 'you know Mum, the sort of cardis that little old ladies knit'!! wink I have been lurking in all the charity shops, but no luck so far. I would knit one myself, but as I am still on the one I started for her 1st baby 8 years ago, I don't think there's much chance of me finishing it this time round. My girls are always grateful for anything I buy for their children, whether it's from Asda (brilliant stuff), Tesco, or charity shops, or very occasionally from John Lewis (in the sale) and now The Oz daughter can order on line from Next and get it sentfrom the UK far more cheaply than it would cost me to send by Royal Mail.

greenmossgiel Wed 23-May-12 19:52:18

Hmm, perhaps that idea of mine wasn't all that good, then - confused! I just thought it would impress them - you know, like in the past, when you bought a wooden toy from Habitat (?) as a present for your well-off friend's child (and it had skint you to do it!)
I think all grandmas want to knit something for their new grandhild, though, don't they? And we all have the feeling that we'll be unlikely to see the baby wearing it , especially after the first week or so!

Anagram Wed 23-May-12 20:13:32

Oh, green, I know! If any of us had a newborn baby, I'm sure we'd absolutely love him/her to be dressed in cosy nighties and hand-knitted matinee coats! Times and fashions change - but I can't help thinking that some of the babies you see wearing denim jeans and baby baseball boots look very uncomfortable!

greenmossgiel Wed 23-May-12 20:44:42

Anagram, I agree....their little legs just don't look right in jeans! A lovely cosy 'pram suit' - I'd love to knit one of those right now!! smile

jeni Wed 23-May-12 20:45:24

You must be JOKING?

Anagram Wed 23-May-12 20:48:36

It's OK jeni - we'll do it for you! smile

nanaej Wed 23-May-12 21:05:52

Happygran1964 a very insensitive response to your kind gifts.sad

DD1 is fussier than DD2 about clothes but I would be v disappointed (with them) if they returned gifts because they did not like them. I think that to do what OP said..take pic and then give to charity is a bit more thoughtful.

Re gift..I think a book that will be long lasting..e.g a hardback copy of Winnie the Pooh or book of children's poetry that you can write a message in and he will be able to keep would be my suggestion. Good luck & just enjoy your little grandson.x

jeni Wed 23-May-12 21:54:49

I've just given a nice tuneful colour full xylophone to my DGGD . MyDD is complaining that DDGD won't let DD play with it?
As she is also fascinated by my celtic harp. I have bought ac lilly harp for her!

wisewoman Wed 23-May-12 22:15:49

Gally - have you tried the CHAS (Children's Hospice Association) charity shop in Kinross? They often have beautifully knitted baby cardigans etc that lovely ladies have knitted to raise funds for CHAS. I know you are in Fife so should be ok for you. I can't knit so am in awe of some of the beautiful things people make.

Annobel Wed 23-May-12 22:29:45

My Mum was very good at knitting Fairisle jumpers. The boys disliked them because they itched, but when we had an 'official' photo taken, they were compelled to wear them - can't remember what the inducement was! DS2 was particularly fussy and still is.