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daughter tired out with grandchild but does not want my help

(31 Posts)
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annieg Wed 31-Oct-12 13:03:56

my daughter has a 4 1/2 mth son we have clashed because I have tried to tidy up for her.I emptied the dishwasher and put things in wrong place,is that a crime . She is not sleeping as granson is waking several times during the night.I am only trying to help and I am concerned she is becoming depressed. She will not return my messages . I dont know what to do now. She seems to think this level of help is interferring. I have asked my husband to intervene, by saying we will look after our grandson whenever.She seems to be making a rod for her own back by not accepting any help.I feel like a stranger

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annieg Fri 02-Nov-12 12:54:22

Could I thank all of you who replied to my anxiety about my daughter. I am very grateful , it makes me feel better to know other people have had similar experiences. We are now speaking to one another, it seems she is very tired as i know and he is only going a couple of hours before wanting to be fed. She has now been convinced to wean him as he is a big baby, so we are now on the right track I feel . THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELPxx

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annieg Fri 02-Nov-12 13:34:07

Jodie u r spot on. My daughter seems to think she should be able to manage-of course she should. I am now taking a few steps back and even though she is not keeping on top of things, as I see it, it is not my place to say. I am obviously offending her- after all as we all say," it is her house"
Its this basic maternal instinct to help your child that is the hardest to refrain from. But I have learnt my lesson and will only help when asked or when help is accepted.Thank you for your comments it is nice to know other people have experienced this ,I was beginning to think I was the only mother with this problem, I find this site invaluable for that . After all a problem shared is a problem halved - well nearly

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Jodi Sat 03-Nov-12 07:35:46

annieg ((((hugs))))

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gracesmum Sat 03-Nov-12 13:54:55

That is where GN is so wonderful, no-one is afraid of admitting they do share a problem, unlike in the "real" world where everybody seems to cultivate the image of effortless parenting/grandparenting/ housekeeping/ entertaining/ gardening/relationships etc etc
Or have I just been unlucky?hmm

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kittylester Sat 03-Nov-12 15:35:21

Are they the ones with perfect children too, gm?

My mum had a saying about people like that - 'All their geese are swans'. We all know people like that, I think.

You are right about gransnet smile

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