Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

New gran - advice please!

(27 Posts)
Villagelady1 Thu 23-May-13 19:19:18

Just returned home from spending three days with my daughter and my newly delivered granddaughter, a precious first grandchild. Feel very flat after the euphoria of the past few days and am wondering if that is just me being weird and over emotional or is that a normal come-down?

Ariadne Thu 23-May-13 19:25:32

Hello, Villagelady1! No, it's not unusual, I feel; it's not just the last few wonderful days with your new baby - you have to think of the previous nine months of waiting and worrying too. This is a brand new, life changing phase in your life, and you need time to reflect on what it means. Smiling, of course, as you remember the feel of that little body.

I think it also makes us think of the continuity of life, and our place in it.

It is a marvelloous new phase, I promise you, and everyone else will be on here soon telling you that.

Gorki Thu 23-May-13 19:37:31

Congratulations Villagelady1 flowers. There is nothing quite like a first grandchild (in my case it was a pair !) and the pain of separation is acute. What is her name and will you be able to see her regularly ?

ps Thu 23-May-13 20:08:43

Villagelady1 Congratulations to you and your daughter. Your feelings are natural and healthy. Welcome to the club, there is nothing like the birth of a grandchild, enjoy the feelings and the years to come.

shysal Thu 23-May-13 20:26:12

Congratulations, Villagelady1, and welcome, if you are new to Gransnet. You didn't have to wait for the arrival of a grandchild before joining! You are bound to feel a little flat - it is natural, I feel it every time I part company with any of my 6 GCs. I hope you are near enough to visit often, you have years of fun ahead of you! flowers sunshine

Sook Thu 23-May-13 20:41:30

Congratulations Villagelady1 what lovely times you have ahead of you sunshine. My fourth grandchild is due tomorrow and I can't wait grin.

Deedaa Thu 23-May-13 21:42:56

You are in for a great time Villagelady1 they are so much more fun than your own children smile

Mishap Thu 23-May-13 22:18:37

Congratulations - the strength of attachment to our GC can be a surprise when it first hits - it is like having your own children again - so no wonder you feel a bit flat - but there is lots of enjoyment to come.

annodomini Thu 23-May-13 22:40:18

Congratulations to all, Villagelady1. The first is always special...but then so is the second...and the third...and so on...Every one in his or her own unique way. flowers

harrigran Thu 23-May-13 23:22:28

Congratulations, life is going to be so different now, you just need to sit down and catch your breath after a busy few days flowers

Galen Thu 23-May-13 23:26:25

Congratulations!
It's certainly life changing!smile

Nelliemoser Thu 23-May-13 23:55:46

Villagelady Have no fear you are quite normal! wink Congratulations

Villagelady1 Fri 24-May-13 07:04:03

Thank you all for your wise words, it's so nice to know I'm not alone in feeling like this. It all seemed such a surreal experience from when I got the call to say my daughter had started her labour to when I got back home after the birth. I caught the train from the Midlands to London as soon as things started, a crack of dawn journey; husband away working; dog very old and sick needing to be taken into the kennels; medicine to be picked up from the vet - the usual chaos, but so exciting and I was so desperate to get there. Then three days later back on the same train, wearing the same clothes, reading the same page in my book, house as untidy as I left it, dog still ill, husband still away, nothing had changed and yet everything had changed.
I'm sure I'll come round eventually, I think it was a bigger shock than I had anticipated seeing my child with her own child.

Aka Fri 24-May-13 07:20:49

Wow, no wonder you feel flat after all that. Congratulations on becoming a grandmother. The first time is very special, but then as Anno said every new arrival is special too but you just learn to cope with all those mixed emotions with practice flowers

MrsJamJam Fri 24-May-13 07:21:40

It's certainly a wonderful experience, and frightening in a way too because that new little family matters so very much to you and yet you have to stand back a little and let them learn parenthood in their own way. I know I was taken aback by the way DS, always sucha laid ba ck chap, became very protective of wife and new daughter and would not let his mum or mum in law interfere!

Believe me, grandchildren are a whole new and marvellous phase of life and you have much joy ahead. Hope the dog is recovering.

goldengirl Fri 24-May-13 09:12:18

It's a wonderful, frustrating, exhausting, fantastic experience being a Grandma - oh, and tiring, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Many congratulations. You'll have a lot of fun as you will be able to childish things with impunity grin

coastwallker Fri 24-May-13 17:35:21

I have to say that I wasn't prepared for how much it would change my outlook on life. I'm not sure I can explain why but yes it was shock to the system. But in a good way. Did you find yourself wanting to tell everyone on the train that your life had just become totally different?

My little man will be two next Monday and he was joined on Wednesday by a little brother and life changes yet again.
Mine are three hours away but I have made the effort to go and visit once a month, just overnight, so as to keep in touch.
If you have or can get Sykpe, I thoroughly recommend it as a way of keeping in touch when you are not around.

Deedaa Fri 24-May-13 21:15:48

Isn't it strange? Eight years ago I'd have said that my two would probably never get round to having children and now I've got two grandchildren and another on the way. Can't remember what it was like without them smile

Forzanonna Fri 24-May-13 22:13:15

I was totally unprepared for the rush of feeling when first GS was born - total change to my life in the best way possible - little brother has now arrived 2 years later - it's different again but just as wonderful. Congratulations - enjoy every minute flowers

pinkprincess Sat 25-May-13 22:10:14

Congratulations Villagelady and welcome to the grandmothers' club.

I can remember when I first became a grandmother, I was working as a nurse on night duty and had just got home when my son phoned to say we had a grandaughter born about half an hour ago.I could not wait to see her, but had to go to bed first to get my sleep before going to the hospital-not the one I was working in-and here was this lovely baby girl that DS and DIL had produced!.
That baby girl is now 21 and about to graduate in Maths.Four more grandchildren followed and each one gave me the same joy.

Enjoy every moment you can with your new precious grandchild.

harrigran Sat 25-May-13 23:23:13

Long time no hear pinkprincess smile you okay ?

salamander Sun 26-May-13 09:25:29

Hello Villagelady1

The birth of a child is always very special and no less that of a grandchild..... congradulations you must be over the moon.
I am sure the three days with them would have been full on and it's no suprise you feel as you do. Seeing your own baby with one of their own is one of the most sureal moments ever.
Being a grandparent is like being given the opportunity to nuture someone special without the total responsibilty of having to be the 'tyrant' as parents often do. Always the good guy, spoil and give back is my policy! smile
My advice -- see as often as you are able and enjoy.

kittylester Sun 26-May-13 09:55:51

Salamander totally agree with your penultimate paragraph. smile

Congratulations Villagelady and to your daughter flowers

pinkprincess Thu 30-May-13 01:39:12

Thankyou harrigran.

I have just come back on here.One of my grandaughters has been causing problems but I think things are getting better, xxx

harrigran Thu 30-May-13 11:06:53

I remember from our meeting in February pinkprincess I was hoping things were improving smile