Being a long distance granny

Sortof Good positive post, particularly your last sentence (1st para). I think it's important that we long distant grans live well and happily.

Great gvid with youngest son and almost 4 month old granddaughter this morning. GD thoroughly enjoy the airplane I flapped across the screen - a fly swat with twisted up paper wings.

hello, I've just joined gransnet and as you can see my user name is 'sort of' gran as my daughter who lives in Australia, sent that in an email to me when her partner had an ivf baby. Well, families come in all shapes and sizes and definitions these days so I am happy to be a gran. I am sent photos by email and although my daughter doesn't use facebook, her partner does so I get to keep in touch that way. Also snail mail parcels are always appreciated and I try and visit once every 18 months-2 years..depending on finance. I am not very technologically minded but need to learn more as there is Skype and instagramme and all sorts of things available now. I know it doesn't make up for being there with them but I have tried to make a full life for myself, so that I/ I am not lonely and 2/ I have something interesting to share news wise when we are communicating.
I went out to Oz as a ten pound pom myself in the early seventies and married an aussie . My children are spread out, 2 in Australia at the moment and one , married and living in Germany and south Africa so we have to get 'with it' and realise the world is a different place these days and travel is more frequent and quite often expected as part of ones career path. I didn't particularly want to learn about laptops and techno stuff but hey ho....it's happening!

It is not only distance that separates. Our DS and DiL live less than 10 miles away but we see our one year old DGD so infrequently that she always cries at us .I know exactly where you are coming from EEG as we have a totally different relationship with our DD's twins. We have regularly looked after them from birth and they are always with us from Monday after school till we take them to school on Wednesday. They are often here as a family for one week-end day too and our relationship with them is totally different from that with the other grandchild. Of course in your case the problem is exacerbated by distance which must be very hard to bear. I do feel for you and for you hespian but situations DO change and life often takes an unexpected turn. . I hope for happier times for you both.

I can feel your pain and just wish I could say something that would help. We are in a very similar situation and it breaks my heart. Families are not meant to be so far from each other as it just hurts too much. I can only send you these and maybe this

I have just spent a two week holiday with my son, his Guyanese wife and our two beautiful granddaughters - almost 4 and almost 3. They live in Guyana but we find Florida the best place to meet up ( for our yearly get together) and this is the second time we have done this. Like other contributors we have two grandchildren in the UK who we look after one day a fortnight. We know these children and all their little ways. When we are with our other two it is SO difficult to suddenly turn on a relationship despite good communication with our son ( who in I dentally we also miss very much) and also Skype. We so want to feel the same but it is not easy and it is
not easy for the children either and this is despite a supportive DIL. And when you have a good relationship with one set of grand children it makes you so aware of what you are missing with the oversea ones. As you may realise I am feeling quite sad - I won't be seeing our grand daughters now for at least another year if not longer and am very sad at my failure to bond in the way I would like to have done. I feel I have let them down and also I feel let down. But, I do have some lovely photos of the good moments we DID share so will hang onto those moments. And of course I hope one day they might move to a country that is easier to visit!

Separation is about to happen. But it doesn't really help me to know that many of us feel the same despair. The comments about technology making things a bit better are interesting, but technological advances are double edged, it seems to me. I think I will need to touch and fully immerse myself, then bury my head in the sand on separation - maybe write an old-fashioned letter, take real physical photos and print them on shiny paper, accept that we aren't physically close, until we see each other again. Otherwise, it's like a puppet show, isn't it? And stopping and starting sounds to be very painful.
Caring for gc 2 days a week has been wonderful. I am truly grateful for that. But it will make the separation even harder. Departure could be as early as August. Any ideas for advance preparations? A life-size doll with gc's face? Weird thoughts going through my head ... And tears a-plenty. Probably not helped by my Parkinson's diagnosis just before gc was born, so I am anxious about keeping active as time passes. 6 monthly visits sound OK, but what if I have deteriorated significantly in that time?

My wonderful son and DIL live in LA and my first grandchild (a boy) is due on 13th July! I am so excited but also terrified of when our visits end. We all cry now when we say goodbye at either LAX or LHR, what it will be like when my husband and I are saying goodbye to a grandchild as well .......
We will make the most of every minute we visit and use FT and Skype as often as possible. Do you think they would notice if I sneaked the baby in my hand luggage?? (Wink)

Thanks for the reminder rubysong - I'll email my DDiL straight away!

Just a reminder to Gransnetters with family in USA that tomorrow (Sunday) is mother's day over there. I've only just realised so I must remember to send an email to DDiL in California, hopefully Skype with them all as well.

Thank you. Will keep my fingers crossed.

www.bishop-skinner.co.uk/pages/travel-insurance.aspx

bmteal and PMH we used the above brokers to get our travel insurance for a 2month trip to the US earlier this year.
They were really helpful.

My husband has just reached 80 and I'm dreading having to get Travel insurance. Up to now it has always been free. Hope someone can come up with some ideas

I have 2 grandsons in California .They are now 8 and 9
We keep in touch on Face time and Skype and spend a lot of time talking about the Premier League. We manage to see them 2 or 3 times a year either in UK or CA. At least once a year they spend time with their Cousins who live in London so we are quite lucky.
As for present buying it is a case of forward planning and always getting things in advance. As the boys are getting older Amazon gift vouchers are useful I also order books etc from Amazon.com so I don't have to pay postage.
My biggest problem has been coming to terms with the Californian parenting!

Hi all you Grans out there,
I was in the discussion a while back and i agree with every single one of you.
I have just one problem that i need your help with.
I have been rather poorly since i last went to visit my family.
I had a heart attack and had a stent fitted two years ago, my problem is
that the travel insurance is twice as much as the flights.
My son pays for everything, but i cannot expect him to foot the bill for expensive insurance.!!!
Does anyone know of an insurance company that will cover pre-existing medical problems and isn't a rip off.
I have been quoted prices from £800 up to £2,080.
Help!!! Please.

I'm pleased for those of you who found the link to the Book Depository useful.

ruby I know exactly what you mean when you said you just enjoyed joining in with the family. That's what I enjoy when visiting - the everday-ness of it all.

Thanks ffinochio and hespian for the link to bookdepository, that will solve my present problems. My DS and family are in California and sending a couple of cards and a sticker book cost over £7! We spent last November there which was lovely but the journey is very long. A friend with family in LA whose husband can't cope with the long flight rented a flat in New York so they could all spend Christmas together with a shorter journey. Perhaps that will be an option for us at some point though what I enjoyed was just being in the house with them and joining in their daily lives.

Holidays are always the most difficult ( along with birthdays and all other special days)! I find the days that used to be the happiest are now the saddest. We have tried to get through on skype and FaceTime all morning but it just won't connect. Very frustrating! I expect the demand is just too high on days like today. It will be too late for them very soon but won't give up yet.

I've just done the same grannyfran!
Thanks so much for the suggestion ffinochio and hespian, it's a great idea

Thanks ffinochio and hespian. I've just sent an order - a little late for Easter, but still, I'm pleased to have sent a present. I miss them a lot, especially over holidays.

I send a book to my grand-daughter in Australia on the 1st of each month using The Book Depository. It takes about 10 days to get there but it is free postage and the book prices are similar to Amazon. I am hoping that I can read some to her using FaceTime when she gets just a bit bigger. She is only 8 months!

Grannfran You may find this useful www.bookdepository.com/category/2455/Childrens-Books

Good luck.

I'd so love to send books to my lovely grandchildren in California. Can anyone suggest a good way? I know I could just use Amazon, but I've heard of subscriptions you can take out where you choose a book a month and it is sent for you. Has anyone used one?

ladybird9 I understand how you feel. Have been home for a week after spending six weeks with our DGD (aged 3) in the US. I miss her so much. Like you say, Skype is great but not being able to cuddle her or have her climbing into bed with us on a morning is sad, although I am grateful for the time we had together.

I talk to her every day but she keeps asking 'Can you come back to my house Nana? Pleeeeeease!' and it is so hard trying to explain distance to her. She had seen a plane flying over the house and told DD2 'look Mummy! That plane is bringing Nana back to our house!' Breaks my heart

... and enjoy your day, too.

so many "distant" grannies out there, it is a change of the times, gone are the days when gran either lived up the road, although sadly I never experienced having a gran or granddad being the almost last of a large family and my children never had the joy of grandparents cos there were old before their time in previous generations. I have 2-grandchildren and feel that I am missing out on their growing up, when I visited them in their homeland Sweden I would end up at the end of the visit distraught and in tears, I couldn't bear to leave them. Not a lot we can do only to enjoy their life through phone calls, visits and maybe Skype, not the same as the touching bit. Nevertheless the continuous knowledge that they are happy is a bonus. Could continue writing on this subject but must go and face the world with love in my heart for at least being a grandma.
Enjoy your day x