divorce

It's been the best thing for me deciding (very hesitantly) to join gransnet. It's such a comfort knowing others who understand. (Husband not too good with emotions).
Just to be able to admit the horror of it all is such a relief. My main problem is dwelling on it.It doesn't really help but it won't go away.
Thank you for not telling me to get a life.

Hi Kate13 - welcome and so sorry for you, your son, DiL, and DGS. You must all be hurting. I have never experienced this but you must feel so sad.

If you click on acronyms along the top, just under where it says 'Gransnet Forums' you'll see what the abbreviations are.

Keep talking to us - we can be very kind!

My heart goes out to you right now, you must be in so much pain. It sounds as though your daughter in law (DiL) is still suffering from depression. Perhaps Relate might be able to guide your DS through, particularly if both of them attend. Relate is not just there to help a couple patch things up.

I don't think you can help really other than on a practical level - a listening ear, etc. your DGS is too young to know what is going on so other than for him do you need to carry on as though nothing is happening? I worry that you might make yourself ill over this.

DearSon Dear Grandson Dear Husband etc.

Thank you. I'm hurting so much for my son. My daughter in law is the one leaving. No one else involved. She had depression after my grandson was born and it seems to have spiralled over the three years. She was 19 when they met and is now 31. She wants her freedom. Trouble is, as the husband's mum, I don't know what's going on.They are still together in the family home. How do I carry on as if nothing's happening.? (We live an hour's drive away.) How can I help without interfering?
Can someone explain what DD, DS DGS mean please ?

DD went through an horrific divorce and her two young boys suffered greatly.
Now, 12 years later, we are in the situation again but this time things don't seem so bad.

Try and be there for your GC as a calm centre and don't take sides.

Eventually things will settle down. Now my DD is fairly friendly with her first husband and the boys, now adults, are doing well.

Kate Welcome, I have been there,done that,and as to your DS and GS you can only be there loving and supporting and hope it isn't too messy. For yourself and your pain it is like bereavement,the life you anticipated with your son ,his wife and family,have gone and full siblings for your GS are but a dream. You will realise I speak from the heart. It will get better in time just be kind to yourself and keep in touch on here you will get help.

When I referred to 'other parties' I was meaning new partners, not yourself I hasten to add! (((hugs)))

Kate13 Welcome to Gransnet. So sorry for you that you have this major unhappiness but there are lots of lovely people on here who will try to help you through.

My advice would be to persuade your son to keep his anger at the divorce apart from the upbringing of his son. It is important that the parents discuss and share all decisions for your DGS and do everything within their power to keep a united front. There may be other parties involved in the divorce but they are not the parents and should take a step back. Sadly all you can do is be there for your DS and DGS whenever you are needed.

My daughter was divorced 3 years ago and we are getting there but it does feel as though it is one step forward and two steps back sometimes. I know that you and I will get through