Oh Dear, Another 'Expert'

Yes, sounds a bit strange as reported, if the report is accurate. I don't think writing for the "Sex Education Forum" makes her an "education chief" though.
There is clearly a serious point in there about unwanted sexual advances. It sounds like a rather muddled statement taken out of context to me.
My grandchildren hate it when all my neighbours expect them to raise their faces to be kissed, as all French children do.

Another 'expert' has advised that grandchildren should not kiss their grandparents but give a high five or wave. Kissing us oldies can cause confusion as to who they should kiss!

Complete twaddle.

I would never 'force' a kiss or a hug on my GC. I do think they should be able to refuse if they want to.

The 15 year old has started high fiving as a sign of affection as it happens.

I agree its twaddle or as we say over here in Suffolk a load of old squit

Kids find their own level my 12 year old grandson is like a sloppy Labrador you can almost see his tail wagging as he grabs you in a bear hug and kisses you with a loud 'luv you Nan' he's now 5'9" with a size 10 shoe and although I m not small am starting to feel it - whereas his sister at 10 is much more discerning about who she kisses or hugs, takes her time and weighs every situation up --- both mean as much My other grandson same age same size is much more introverted and has only met me three times because of geographical distance My son warned me before the last visit and we shook hands and never got much further I think I managed an arm on his shoulder once My other grand kids are all somewhere in between but I think on the whole a cuddle is easier for kids than kisses and I don't think we need an expert to tell us how it should be

Heard about this on local radio this morning and I think the point the spokesperson was trying to make (very badly) was that children have to be taught about consent. Her concern was that sex education is all about the mechanics of sex but doesn't cover consent and what is good or bad in a relationship.

She did say there was nothing wrong with a child giving granny a kiss but that children have to be taught about boundaries.

Omg have agree with Suffolk lady what load old squit.

If I was lucky enough have my Grandaughters in my life I guess would adore to give them lots cuddles.

My estranged daughter was more affectionate than me.

My step grandsons do give little hug and peck on Cheek normally they are 14 and 12 -and both taller than me and I am not short! Oldest is autistic and I never push any contact he prefers that. Was pleased when he first gave me hug .

Do wonder what twaddle will come up next.

Oh for heavens sake! state the bleeding obvious why don't you!

I can see why in child protection terms it's important to make it clear to children that they have choice over their personal space but whatever happened to common sense. You cant force a kiss on a child who is old enough to object but a hug with a grandchild is usually acceptable. Baby DGS enjoys me blowing raspberries on his forehead. It would be dreadful if we grand parents became afraid of giving physical contact and reassurance.

If our GCs are upset or injured it's instinctive to pick them up and give a hug. Long live let nanny "kiss it better."

This is another of those bits of ordinary, common sense that has been blown out of proportion. It isn't just children who need to understand about boundaries, it's the adults around them, a small number of whom insist on children hugging, kissing, sitting on the knees of relatives when the children clearly don't want to do this.

So I'm the only one who is prepared to get the twelve year old in an arm lock to get a kiss out of him? And uses indescribable depths of bribery to get the eight year to sit on Granny's lap - "just for five minutes"?

Oh well. I'm not stopping.

I think you have to take the cue from the child too. I would never try to kiss my autistic grandson because I know he hates it. My eldest DG is eleven and has started saying "yuck" to kisses, but still hugs me when I arrive. That's fine with me.
I certainly suffered as a child from a male relation who overstepped the boundaries. Children do need to be able to refuse, but I think teaching this is a parental responsibility; as ever, the television report seemed to be blaming schools.

Surely we grandparents read our individual grandchildren. One side of my family are very huggy, kissy whereas the other use hugs and kisses for specials. Then our older DGS is going through the 'no kissing' stage so we all shake hands which makes him feel special and grownup. DGCs don't need to be taught about boundaries in families as that will be even more confusing.

Yet another good reason not to read the Daily Mail which, rumour has it, is really only good for the crossword.

As a divorced lady for many years I don't get many kisses, so the ones my two darling GDs give me are very welcome.

Good point dorset. x

I leave it up to the children to choose whether they want to kiss, hug, high five or whatever. It's usually a mixture of all these and if I manage to plant a kiss on top of a five year old's head, I'm fine with that. I come second to the dog, anyway!

Our DGD is almost 14 and the first thing she does when she sees us is give us a kiss and a cuddle

My grandsons are 17 and 20 and always give me a big kiss when they arrive and also when they leave. My eldest used to give me one in the town centre when we saw him on a break from college. Grandad gets one too. We love it but wouldn't mind so much if they suddenly decided it wasn't 'cool'.

The report doesn't say kissing and cuddling is wrong.

It says forced or coerced kissing and cuddling is wrong.

I wouldn't say that is entirely squits!

I agree with all of the comments made.

I think I understand her meaning but at the same time I wouldn't take any notice on a personal level because I'm never going to give up my hugs and kisses until hell freezes over. Mind you I would never 'make' my GD kiss me but I am like Jingle, I do bribery if necessary. . In a fun way of course and she knows nanny is teasing.

I do feel that in a way whilst I believe she has the child at heart, is there not another issue raised in that if you don't give your GC hugs and kisses they would grow up 'cold fishes' and not be balanced individuals who understand love and empathy are wonderful joys to share. ? I wonder too what was her upbringing like. I could never in a million years regret one kiss or cuddle my grandmother gave me and it was never a factor in my upbringing as to the boundaries I as a child had to be careful of.

Liz G. I don't understand your last sentence. It was a lady caleed Lucy Emmer son, the Co-Ordinator of the Sex Education Forums words, not the Daily Mail. Infact I thought the Daily Mail gave fair representation to the opposite thought.

I used to love kissing my granny's cheek. So soft and cool. She had lovely skin.

Sorry POGS, while I agree with all you say about not taking note of this on a personal level, and with all those who tailor their actions to individual GCs, I must tell you that according to the BC, Hell (Michigan) has frozen over!

Sorry, that should be the BBC. Just as well nobody wants to employ me as a a proof-reader...

What a load of C%*" Honestly it's as bad as my lovely late MiL telling me that I shouldn't let my 2 year old run around with no nappy as it encourages child abuse. My 17 year old DGS ALWAYS hugs and gives me a kiss. My 11 year old DGS didn't like it too much so I left him to it, now he runs up to us and hugs and gives us a kiss. My 5 year old DGS doesn't want to at the moment and his 3 year old brother is copying him. All of the others are fond of kisses and hugs but we NEVER force it on them. I also pop a quick kiss on my GS head when I can catch him

Wheniwasyorage

Well spotted. Fancy saying you live in Hell.