its so hard looking after my lovely GC

Hi there eastendgranny - yes charity shops are a great source of jigsaws and books. Good suggestion.
Hello Sandy i have a son in NZ, Wellington region. Empty threats are irritating aren't they. I had a cousin who used to say to her son, when he was about 5, "father christmas won't come". This would be said in august. However if it is any comfort he is now a delightful young man of 20.

With my other two grand children living in Guyana, I find the one day a fortnight I spend looking after my two grand children, who are rather closer to home, very precious. They are 2 and 4 but our 4 year old grandson is now at school. Even so I find it exhausting. I am not very big and prone to back ache so all the lifting - buggy, grand daughter if a dog comes anywhere near us, bending etc is very tiring. I'm not sure I'd get through it if it wasn't for my husband - good old grandpa - coming with me. I am often amazed at how many Grandads appear to opt out of this fabulous experience. But failing that and as someone else suggested, have plenty of jig saws and games bought from charity shops ready to ring the changes from their toys at home and be organised so you have everything needed for an activity. Remember the 'doing' is often more enjoyable and important than the outcome for younger children.

Is there such a thing as a glamorous Gran? I may start the day sort of glamorous, but by 3pm definitely not, grubby hand prints on skirt, paint/chocolate (yes I do give chocolate as a treat/bribe) tomato soup, spilt juice etc......., when I return from taking DGC home, I sit with a cup of tea and DONT MOVE for at least an hour.

BUT still look forward to doing it all again the next day...... and yes planning is the key.

We really do save this government some money.

Welcome to Gransnet Sandy. I think after three months of looking after my grandchildren I'd be ready to drop, but it might be worth it to spend such a long time in NZ. I have a daughter in Auckland, but she and her husband don't have children and I don't really fancy looking after her three manic dogs. Sorry to hear about the divorce and hope that it hasn't been too traumatic.

Aka I am filled with admiration! You must have a lot of stamina!

Sandy1948 Don't think you need any advice. As you say "Mum & Dad are full of empty threats" but "they know I mean what I say" says it all.

My 3yr DGDs mum does lots of threats but never carries them out, so consequently DGD doesn't listen to her at all, just carries on doing her own thing. However she knows she has to behave differently at her dad's and mine and adapts accordingly.

I applaud you looking after 3 at once, your obviously doing a great job!

Commiserations on your divorce.

Advice?
Simply be pleased with way they behave for you and ignore the way they behave with their parents. It may be that your son and DiL will notice and learn from that, if not best put up and not rock the boat.
Enjoy your time with them.

Hi,
Just joined and enjoyed the postings! I'm about to enter month four of looking after my three grandchildren,8,6 and 4 in New Zealand--- here until April when I go back to UK. Also in the middle of a divorce after nearly 47 years. Like the rest of you, I love my grandchildren to bits, but struggle with so many aspects of their behaviour. For instance they all still eat with their fingers. The way they speak to/shout at their parents truly upsets me. They're pretty OK with me because they know I mean what I say---- Mum and Dad are full of empty threats. Any advice? Adore my daughters in law by the way. Think we all do an amazing job for very little recognition.

I have the three GC (2,3 & 4) for four days a week. The secret is to get them out of the house for at least part of the day. I hate soft play centres or anything of that nature, but there are other options. Libraries often run story sessions for free. You local Children's Services will provide you with a list of Play and Stay Groups in your area. Garden Centres are great if they have a pet section. Take them to the supermarket to buy their lunch ingredients with a promise of a choice of pudding or biscuits if they behave. Get them outside to jump in puddles and take them to local parks when the weather allows.
I would go stir crazy if I had to stay inside with three little ones all day, but the time certainly goes quickly if you get out. However you do have to allow plenty of time for putting on shoes or wellies, coats, hats, getting them into seat belts or onto buses, but it all fills up the time and is a learning curve for them.

I'm looking after my grandson (4 years old tomorrow) and his baby brother (10 months) for two days a week at the moment and it's exhausting. The older one will be back at school next week, but it's the baby that I find particularly tiring as he wants/needs attention all the time and he's a heavyweight to pick up and carry around. Still, I'm savouring every moment as they'll be moving away at the end of the month and it will take a two hour car drive to visit hem, rather than the twenty minutes it takes now.
Still, they've bought a house with a rather lush granny annexe to tempt me into going to stay as often as I can.

Now my DD and her husband are both back at work I am looking after GS2 who is just 1 most days and GS1 who is 7 after school. I enjoyed the 5 years I spent looking after GS1 and found it far more fun than looking after my own had been (probably because it was more fun than working!)
It is harder this time because I am older, there are now 2 of them, and because he is ill my husband is always at home now. He doesn't enjoy small children and being ill makes it worse so the whole situation is more stressful than it was, but hopefully we can make it work.

When DD moved back to this area it was so that I could have youngest DGS who will be 2 in March whilst she returned to full time work.
Unfortunately due to his special needs she is unable to work. I do have him 2-3 times a week. Of course I wish he didn't have heath problems, but I am secretly glad DD is unable to work. As I don't think I could cope Monday-Friday.

Supernanny bet your GD has a great time with you. I am sure her mum will be grateful if you can still amuse her for a few hours when new baby comes along and when she goes to school you can have similar fun times with the little one. Sometimes it is lovely to spend time with just one of them and I think they like a bit of individual attention

Welcome to GN stacigran

I live with two of my DGC 7 and 5 yrs and have been full time carer for them both from when the little one was 6 mths old.
I find being organised is the key if I am organised I can then enjoy the children, but having things that occupy them helps try to mix things up so they are doing a variety of activities as their attention span is short.

At 2 and 4 they love noise, let them make some muscial instruments from old washing up bottles filled with pasta or anything that makes different noises a big pan and wooden spoon (you might need some ear plugs), and arty things you can get all manner of arty things that they can do from that age, try the easy painters from ELC they are paint but look like a large felt tip pen but they contain water paint and dont spill so it reduces the mess and a roll of unused wallpaper, try filling trays with water paint and let them do some hand painting or fill icecream tub lids with paint and let them make foot print pictures if they are busy they are easier to control. Have a quiet time with a book or a jigsaw, or build with duplo relax and have fun.

Yes you will be exhausted but its worth it.

Dont be fooled by the glamorous Gran you will have heard of "All calm and serene on the surface,but paddling like hell underneath"?, well some are just better at hiding it than others.

stacigran here's another who feels the same. I remember exclaiming, at the age of 33, whilst crawling round on the floor with my two youngest, 'I'm getting too old for this lark!' No wonder that I feel shattered 32 years later, when I've had a couple of grandchildren for the day. I build in 'vegging out on the sofa' time with iPad games, DVDs, books etc. or I will tell them to play quietly whilst I have a cup of tea. I do have to put my foot down if they get boisterous, but give them some leeway to let rip for a while first. It's nice to see them go back to mum and the following day I usually do very little. Couldn't do it more than the odd day a week and a couple of hours at a time, or babysitting whilst they're in bed. As you say, it's different in your own home, where it's not geared to children living there permanently - they just gravitate to the next toy or activity at home.

yes, yes, I so agree. I would be heartbroken if they lived further afield; I dont know how other people cope with that scenario. I try to enjoy them as much as i can but I know I will enjoy it much more when they are a wee bit older. it's so differnt to being a mum isn't it. Thanks .

Well said Thistledoo your right my husband tells me that all the time.

Stacigran, welcome to GN. You are definitely not alone in finding it tiring looking after young GC. There is a reason why we are designed to have kids when we are young. I find it really challenging coping with my two, aged 1 and 4, the 4 year old having regular tantrums over silly things.
I love having them but love waving goodbye. My other GC is 6 and is an absolute delight, it does make a big difference when they are a bit older.
Although I enjoy every minute and am mindful of the poor GNs who have no contact with their own GC. I would rather be worn out then heartbroken.

Yes she is fine. She knows that it would be too much and she is hoping to give up work for a while anyway after baby is born. Her partner is in the army so she knows I am always available.

You have hit the nail on the head. Sometimes I just have one of them at a time and I enjoy that so much more. when they are together there is constant squabbling and fighting and also a lot of vying for attention, trying to out shout each other. Also they get into a lot of mischief that neither one would do on their own. It is awful to say but i long for the time when they are a bit older. Dreadful to be wishing their young lives away!
Is your daughter ok with your decision not to have them both?

I don't know how you cope with 2! I have my granddaughter 3 full days a week, she is now 2 and 4 months and I have had her since she was a year. I love her to bits, she makes me smile all the time and to hear her little voice say ' I love you nanny' makes it all worthwhile. I have taught her loads, we cook, go for nature walks, visit swing parks and zoos when the weather is fine, cut and paste, draw, play games, sing together and twice a week we attend toddler groups- my life savers.

I have enjoyed every minute (despite the inevitable tantrums at times) but in March her mum, my daughter goes on maternity leave and no I will not be looking after 2, at 63 I just know I haven't the energy. I take my hat off to you!

I know just how you feel I've had my 2 here today and they have shattered me. I could sit and cry and that's before i've tidied up.

Yup! - it's blooming hard work when you are not in the first flush! You are not alone!

Welcome Stacigran. I looked after our two on Tuesday and I was exhausted when I got home. The expression "herding cats" springs to mind.

Hi and welcome stacigran.

I had 5 children but when DD3 has been round for half a day with her two under twos I'm ready for bed by the time I've put the house to rights.

But, when the almost 2 year old walks in the door and flings his arms round my knees - I don't care about the house or the exhaustion.