Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

Playing by themselves, or not, as the case may be!

(53 Posts)
helena Tue 21-Jan-14 16:22:46

Is it just me, or am I the only other Nana that spends the WHOLE days playing and amusing my delightful granddaughter? She is three years old and I care for her two days a week. I have a good supply of toys and crafts to keep her occupied, and I'm happy to sit and read stories, do jigsaws, play games etc etc, but she insists on having me play with her constantly. Is this a phase that she will grow out of soon? It would be nice to be able to just catch up on a few chores or just 'chill' for a half and hour during the day. I do find the constant interaction exhausting! Any tips on how to interest her in playing contentedly by herself for short periods of time would be very appreciated smile

inishowen Fri 07-Feb-14 22:02:48

I spent the afternoon sitting on the floor making Noddy do the actions, while 2 year old Rosie, fed him with pretend biscuits and drinks! Every time I made Noddy sit down, she shoved him back into my hands to operate. I don't mind, but it is exhausting. I would love to watch Deal or no Deal, but it has to be Peppa Pig on a loop!

annodomini Fri 07-Feb-14 20:05:27

Sounds like a good 'un, Aka.

Aka Fri 07-Feb-14 19:07:24

Sorry, he's a one off and I'm keeping him sunshine

annodomini Fri 07-Feb-14 16:26:39

Make hay while the sun shines, Aka. A time will come when he considers he's being exploited. Meanwhile, may I borrow him? grin

grannyactivist Fri 07-Feb-14 16:23:59

How do you think I instilled such a good work ethic in my own children? They couldn't wait to get out and earn their own money from the age of fourteen (at which time their 'spends' from parents were frozen). grin

Aka Fri 07-Feb-14 16:10:22

I think I would have made a good spin doctor.

Aka Fri 07-Feb-14 16:09:40

I sort of let him think that being allowed the privilege of cleaning my patio doors was his reward for being good all day!

Aka Fri 07-Feb-14 16:07:31

Reward? hmm

grannyactivist Fri 07-Feb-14 16:06:00

Oh I like it Aka. When my grandson is here he loves to clean and polish alongside me and there's often a small reward for a good job well done. smile

Aka Fri 07-Feb-14 16:03:00

Just taught my 3 year old GS how to clean the inside of the French doors, using a dilute soap spray, a cloth and the Kercher! He's spent 45 minutes on them. They look good (at least up to his head height) and he's feeling very pleased with himself.
Now that's what I call constructive play grin

positivepam Mon 27-Jan-14 17:51:02

I send love and peace to all Grans and may we all be happy in our play with our DGC. flowers cupcake sunshine xxxx. And I really really would be upset if I thought I had hurt, upset or offended anybody. I think I didn't explain my view properly, I knew what I meant and wasn't trying to criticise anyone, so I am sorry. xx.

Judthepud2 Mon 27-Jan-14 17:43:27

Yes Aka I am a very happy Gran. Love all my grandchildren to bits but I find they all like a little bit of space from time to time to play their own games. You can learn a lot about what is going on in their heads by listening to their verbalising their private games! Fascinating.

Just said goodbye to DGS2 (just turned 4) who was here for the afternoon. Came in and made straight for the play food. Fed me first and then had a complicated game with 2 toy dogs who were ill. Made medicine and put them in a cage until they recovered. I was not encouraged to join in except to be told in detail about what was happening. I was however the supplier of the equipment.

annodomini Mon 27-Jan-14 16:51:33

I haven't had much opportunity to play with my GC, except GD1. I know they can be trying and exhausting, but please bear in mind that it won't be long before they have their noses stuck to computer screens and you won't hear a murmur from them all day. You'll miss them then.

Aka Mon 27-Jan-14 16:51:22

Yes, peace and sorry to anyone I've offended brew cupcake

helena Mon 27-Jan-14 16:48:01

Oh dear, I think I've started a bit of a heated debate here, not my intentions... sorry hmm
I do honestly think its important to play and interact with our GC, but also that they entertain themselves for short periods of time too. I do think that if I was retired, (which would be this year if the present government hadn't changed things! but that is another topic!), I wouldn't feel the need to have some 'me' time through the day, and would enjoy the time I spend with my GD that little bit more.
Thank you for all your tips, those that I don't already do I'll take on board and try.

nannypye Mon 27-Jan-14 16:24:45

Well Hellena I think your doing great and can understand how draining it is when you can't even sit for 5 minutes without them wanting your attention. Children need to learn to play on their own and not have the undivided attention of an adult, my GD is almost 3 and luckily will play on her own when you are a working GM it is important that you enjoy spending time with your GC without feeling exhausted because they won't leave you alone.

Aka Mon 27-Jan-14 16:12:36

Very diplomatic Ninny hmm but we weren't talking about staying for a day or two we were talking about childminding on a regular basis. Whether you have 1, 2, 3 or more GC, most days then you cannot play with them all day, every day. Quite a different matter.

Guess what? Im sure Helena and Jud and Tefala and Jess are all happy grans too.

I wasn't the one who first called you patronising Pam though I did repeat the accusation in my last post when I agreed with Helena.

positivepam Mon 27-Jan-14 15:40:06

Of course that is not what I am sayingAka but you have just actually said and agreed with what I was saying.. You said "encouraged" to develop a level of independent play, which is exactly what I meant by guiding or leading. Surely the outcome is the same and I never said or suggested you didn't have fun. I just put it another way and I would be grateful if you would stop calling me patronising and misguided as I have already said it was not meant in that way and I am also as Ninny said, entitled to my opinion which you have just agreed with, just by another name.

ninny Mon 27-Jan-14 14:34:29

Aka get off your high horse everyone can have an opinion. Obviously if your grandchildren lived with you or if you looked after them on a day to day basis they would have to learn to play on their own or with their siblings sometimes, just like our children did when we were young mums. But when grandchildren come to visit for a day or two it's wonderful in my opinion to be able to give them your full attention, read, play games and have lots of fun, I want to be thought of as happy gran.

Aka Mon 27-Jan-14 12:49:20

I think you're missing the point here. Are you suggesting the rest of us, who have encouraged our GC to develop a level of independent play are in some way failing in our duties? Or that we don't have 'lots of fun'?

Very patronising I agree Helena and quite misguided too.

ninny Mon 27-Jan-14 10:14:57

positivepam I agree with you. When my granddaughter age 3 comes to stay I am her playmate and we have lots of fun together and with granddad.

positivepam Sun 26-Jan-14 18:16:17

I am sorry you found it patronising it wasn't meant to be and I was just saying what I do with my DGC and I still think you can lead children, how do they ever learn, otherwise. I was talking about young children who do sometimes need guidance I think you have totally misunderstood what I was meaning. My DGC play games, use Tablets, imagination everything but I think they have been encouraged and guided to do these things as and when whoever is looking after them wants them to. Helena I apologise to you if you took my post as patronising or an attack in any way it certainly was not meant in that way. I would never do that and sometimes things can be misinterpreted. And no I do not do "paid" work anymore as I am retired, thank heavens.

Aka Sun 26-Jan-14 16:21:21

Favourites with mine are

TINY HANDS
Sorting 1 (2+)
Sorting 2 (2+)
Sorting 3 (3+)
What's my Pair? 1
What's my Pair? 2

Giggle ups
Jigsaws 123
(Wildlife and transport)

Balloons: Tap and Learn

I think most were free and i might have paid a bit to unlock the full appliction. But i consider £1.99 my limit usually.
I'm always up for more ideas so if other grans have 'best loved' apps please share smile
I find jigsaws are always a great favourite helena

helena Sun 26-Jan-14 16:04:44

Aka thankyou, that would be lovely. I'm happy for you to PM me or suggest apps on here (there may be other nanas interested). We do have an iPad, and have a few games/jigsaws on it that are popular, but recommendations for others would be appreciated.
Isn't technology a wonderful thing!

Judthepud2 Sun 26-Jan-14 15:17:40

Some things I find work to encourage independent play with my DGCs are:

Play food and cooking equipment from Early Learning Centre. Very popular and lead to lots of play both with us, each other and on their own. Meals, picnics and parties for soft toys, discussion about healthy food and 'naughty food'.

Washing up is very popular. Bowl of warm soapy water in the sink (booster step required for the little ones), a pot scrubber and lots of plastic cups, bowls, cutlery. Keeps them amused for ages. Oldest DGS likes to do real dishes to feel he is helping.

Oh and play doh with rolling pin and cutters.

Oldest DGD was a bit like yours at that age, Helena. Wouldn't do anything without mummy involved. The secret for encouraging her to play on her own were STICKERS! She still loves them and will play with them quietly for ages. They end up everywhere in the house and on toys as well as books but very effective.

I do agree children need a bit of space to play on their own from time to time. I believe nurseries and preschools encourage a balance of structured and independent play.