THAT huge question

I 'm not at all convinced you can bequeath children in your will!

If the wider family were unsuitable for some reason, then the Courts would not allow it whatever the parents' wishes had been.

Of course children would not be taken into care whilst there were capable young aunts, uncles, and suchlike to step up to the mark.

Without a will naming guardians then it would be up to a court to decide.
Better to make a will for peace of mind.

When I was a very young single mum with three small children I wrote a will and named one of my sisters as co-guardian with custody going to my ex-partner, to ensure that my children would stay in contact with my family if I wasn't around. When I had a second set of children in my late thirties I amended it so that my older three would look after the younger ones if I & my partner died. I've heard too many horrible stories about people being excluded from children's lives and it just makes it easier if it's clear for whoever has to sort everything out. It's also nice to think that someone with a similar outlook will be keeping an eye on your children if you aren't around.

Have to say, have never discussed it with my Oldest and her husband as to what they would want to happen with their two. They may have arranged something with their brothers and sisters.

I don't think it is a depressing thought, just sensible. Write it down and then hope it is never needed.

Ours is what I would consider to be a close, loving family, but decided it was best to make sure that our wishes were known because, in the event of the unthinkable happening, we did not want a court to decide on our children's future, which is a possibility in law.

No matter how many loving relatives there are, it is best to choose and name guardians in a will if you have young children.

Juliette, yes, i was relieved to read of someone else with normal family feelings.

granjura I am sure your home is lovely. Just out of interest, why is your wood burner granite clad? Doesn't that stop the heat radiating out?

We will just have to disagree- in many families there are not so many choices- and if there is a disagreement, a will can really help a Judge or family support.

Chilly, why? Excellent double windows, 3.5ft thick stone walls, central heating, solar panels and the most massive granit clad wood burner- couldn't be more cosy and warm- thanks

jingl That's what I was trying to say.

Peace of mind for the parents though, to know definitely who'd be bringing up their children. Sometimes there can be unseemly bickering in families about such things - you'd be surprised!

Not sure how funds could be made available for a housekeeper or similar unless the parents were very rich or took out huge insurance policies...

To return to the original subject, I would think, in any normal close, loving family, it would be a totally unnecessary thing to do. Of course children would not be taken into care whilst there were capable young aunts, uncles, and suchlike to step up to the mark.

No granjura. I am most certainly not



(sounds chilly for one thing)

Are you a lottery winner Nonu?

When our children were small, after discussion, we named one of my sisters as the children's guardian if both of us were incapacitated and left our money in such a way that she could use it to buy a bigger house and make any necessary changes to her life in order to care for them.

It worries me that DS and DDiL have not yet made wills and sorted this out officially. They have prepared the plans and intend to do it, but just haven't got round to it.

Blimey Nonu If you don't think a that a house with 11 bedrooms doesn't qualify as a pile then heaven help the rest of us living in our cramped hovels.

I feel lucky to live in a house with four bedrooms. That was only achieved by selling a former post war council house in the London area and moving north where much lower property prices allowed us to upsize without massive increasing our mortgage costs.

Well that was a mess up! I didn't mean you to smile Nonu, I was trying to post a smile, novice that I am! .....

I haven't been on Gransnet for very long but love how discussions go off at a tangent and a whole new conversation ensues have just been talking to DH about this and we agreed that if any child within the wider family had been orphaned then there would have been a home here of course. We have never discussed it with our our own children just unspoken really that our DGSs (cousins) would be cared for, they are both teens now (14&16) so would probably have some input into their future. DH had a cousin living with them when he was young. Their were eight children in the family plus the cousin and DFIL and MIL. They lived in a three bedroom house so eleven people! They could have done with one of your bedrooms Nonu smile

You know very well you would be more than welcome I will get out the best china and silverware for you. Might even put the heating on !!!!!!

Nonu my bags are packed - I'm coming for the weekend!

No , I store my things there as indeed himself does, and when the family come they can spread themselves about.
CLEANING? what is that? I must admit I have heard that word before, but am a bit unsure what it means !!
To me a PILE is where the Queen or frightfully rich people live, with about 20/30 bedrooms.
We used to rent out but can"t be bothered now !! Like the space !!

It is the sensible thing to do as otherwise the children could be taken into care.

We made named guardians in our wills for our children until they came of age and DS and DIL have done the same.

That's a serious amount of bedrooms ! Think of all the cleaning.

ELEVEN bedrooms, Nonu?

Are they all occupied?

I would hardly call our eleven bedroom house A PILE but as others have USED the term thought I might as well jump on the bandwagon[why not I saY].
cHUCKLE
[TCHSMILE]

Jingle- our old house was a Vicarage for a very long time (since 1587)- and when it was sold to us, for the price of a 2 bed terrasse in Kent or Essex- the community was distraught as it has a large room at the back and kitchen, disabled access and WCs- and where the elderly folk here at luncheon club and activities, and all sorts of other village stuff. So we've decided to let the community continue to use it- and we with a group of volunteers organise the lunches, etc. We also use it for the local kids, when they have special functions at the Church next door- etc- And when we have the grandkids- they have that great place as a playroom and they just love it. Anything wrong with that? ?

Weird??? I really don't think so- and if parents are making a will- it is really helpful, in the event of a terrible accident or illness, etc- for things to be clear. And to protect children from possible greedy relatives (sadly some families do have them), etc- and to put some moeny for the bringing up of the children and their studies, and put the rest in trust, etc.

It is only as weird as making a will. A large proportion of people die intestate and this causes untold trouble and misery for the family, and huge costs too. A friend of ours would not make a will right into his 60s because he thought it was 'weird' and bad luck. How daft.

Do it, make arrangements, and forget about it - nothing weird about it.

Public part?!!! Flip me!