I need your prayers!!!

What worries me now is I don't want to battle AGAINST the department

If they insisted that it would go to court if my DD placed him with me then I would have no CHOICE but to wait

Otherwise if they get a care order they can say where he goes or doesn't go and can have him removed especially if I rattle their cage and ruffle their feathers by going AGAINST them or their decisions

It did NOT work in my favour when I appealled when first failed viability , it made things WORSE and so I had to back off

I need them on side basically and although the SW is on side it sounds like not all above are or they would not have said no to him being placed with me while I am assessed

Back to being between a rock and a hard place then , again , then feelings of have I REALLY come forward? Have things REALLY progressed?

There must be some sort of risk assessment they did on me to place him with me for the 6 days or that would NOT have gone ahead at all

I know month after month , full time is different from 6 days but I am COMMITTED to this

There is a little boy who needs to be here!!

Just keep telling yourself you are on the last lap now. Sometimes when you get to the end of a long slog the very last bit can feel unbearable but you are almost there now. It sounds as if the SW knows where he should be and the assessment sounds as if it went well so just hang on in there. Not much longer now.

This is so difficult for you, Nannynoo.
As the SW has suggested the route of him being placed with you by your DD, I hope she will make sure that happens very soon, if all else fails.

Oh nannynoo why can't they see he would be better off with you. I do hope you get him home with you soon.

I think we may have to go the 'my DD place him with me route' now if there is no other option xx

For his sake x

The SW said she asked the department if I can have him WHILE the full 12 week assessment is being done and they said NO but she said that she will ask them again and also suggested my DD placing him with me as she still has parental responsibility and as he is at no risk of harm here , so what can they do?

The SW is going to ask the department what they would do - To be honest if they thought he was at risk of any harm here why would they place him here for 6 days PLUS for it to go so well at that!!

Thing is , is he NOT MY GS anymore? Is he not my own flesh and blood anymore? Does someone else OWN him now just because of my DD's mistakes?

He is at NO RISK of harm here WHATSOEVER , my health is good thankfully apart from being a bit overweight so cholestorol may be high BUT no serious medical problems which is SO good , have not even seen a doc since I moved in and have not NEEDED to , just the dentist

I CAN DO IT and WILL if just given the chance

Surely he is better of with family? I do feel he BELONGS HERE I really do , my DD agrees , the SW agrees and I reckon even the foster carer would agree as she KNOWS this is part of her job ie it is only temporary! Am sure they will find another child for her to care for in an instant - I can care for my GS and there is no need for him to be where he is anymore

He used to be MY GS and surely he still is?

I have had ENOUGH now , he can't keep having to point outside the contact centre saying ''Nannys house'' and ''walk'' and opening the gate because he wants us to walk there , even though it is too far to walk here but he doesn't understand that!

Even the foster carer told the SW he keeps saying ''Nannys house'' to her!!

He has made HIS feeling so clear and he will be SO well cared for here , and happy , and secure and content

I HONESTLY CANNOT wait 12 more weeks to have him here and that is the truth and I honestly don't see why I should have to now , he belongs here and SOON now

I've just read an article in the latest copy of professional social work. it's a feature on kinship care, so very relevant to your position nannynoo. You may be able to access it on line. It's written by Jan Watts, and draws on her personal experience of caring for her grandchild, so she has been in a very similar place to you. It's a great article, and she uses a number of quotes from members of the Birmingham Group of Grandparents Association. One of the quotes that I feel is particularly important is "Kinship carers should be treated like adopters with leave entitlements and more support". That rang bells for me, given your comment above which suggests the sw realises that respite may be needed and therefore an important part of your grandsons care package.

Sending best wishes,

nannynoo, I'm getting frustrated on behalf of your grandson and you. night owl makes a good suggestion above. If that doesn't work effectively, I am beginning to feel you have no option but to get a solicitor involved. Sending hugs and very best wishes to you and your grandson. You are absolutely right, your daughter could ask for her son to be returned or alternatively placed with you.

Oh nannynoo it's all a muddle isn't it? I wonder if you could ask for a meeting with the SW and her manager just to get some clarity about the whole plan. There's no need for this to be confrontational but after all your patience and commitment to the process I really think you deserve to know what is going on. Your DGS certainly deserves some clear planning now. (((Hugs)))

I really need your help and support now as things are at a critical stage and it is really dragging!

The SW rang me and said the assessment takes 12 weeks so the problem is placing him before then as last time she asked if he could be placed before the asssessment was completed they said NO

So she is going to ask AGAIN

Plus my DD still has parental responsibility so is allowed to say where he lives BUT obviously if they have any concerns they would REMOVE him , the SW suggested to me this COULD be a route they could take as there ARE NO concerns ( they would not have placed him for 6 days if there were! ) Plus I have passed viability so even though this seems to me like a strange way of doing things IF they 'approve' it ie say in this case they WON'T remove him then it is just a matter of waiting for the full assessment while he is here , she did not mention a reg 24 but maybe that is what they said no to

I have a feeling things are going well and a good care plan will need to be put in place

It is important that he is well cared for not only on a day to day basis but also if I got ill or something or needed some respite as it is good if the support services are all well and truly in place , set up and ready too!

I had my first assessment today!

I was a bit fraught last night and too nervous to mention it but it went well I think , was better than I thought , more relaxed than I thought and I was relaxed which helped!

I only found out yesterday that it was happening today as the lady was given the wrong number lol so she had to e-mail me instead which worked thankfully and she came round this afternoon

I liked her , she does her job well and it was a 'general' outline of my life and family etc and it will get more in depth later , it wasn't as bad or intrusive as I thought it would be though and all part of the course but I SO want him placed with me in the 'meantime' as it takes 12 weeks now but the SW said it would be QUICKER if we go the kinship care route rather than SGO and that she is ''bringing it forward'' now as she originally said July so hopefully the wheels are turning now and I have a FEELING she wanted me to get the first step of the assessment done so they have a general idea if it is going well or not ie looking hopeful before they go ahead and place him and I think it went well so we will just have to wait and see BUT my concern is my GS really pining for me now , plus 11 months in care is long ENOUGH for a child with special needs who does not really understand what the hell is going on

It is dragging on now but I do think the SW wants the assessor to report back to her and hopefully if positive they can move things along fairly quickly now

Am certainly doing my bit , they really need to do theirs now , for little mans sake x

Iam64 sets out the legal position very clearly there nannynoo, as well as the risk of drift inherent in S.20 situations. I think what you are referring to when you say that your DGS can be placed with you while the assessment is completed is what's known as a Reg. 24 placement (this is regulation 24 of the Care Planning, Placement and Case Review Regulations 2010 - bit of a mouthful). The full assessment has to be completed and presented to the fostering panel within 16 weeks (this timescale may have been reduced recently, I left family and friends work last year). You are quite right that local authorities are cautious about such placements because of the risk that the assessment may not prove to be positive and the child could then face another move from people he is close to. However in your case, and after such a successful experience of caring for your DGS recently, it sounds as if the SW was sufficiently confident to recommend this as next step. It all sounds very promising, you just need the SW to hurry up back from her holiday!

Section 20 of the 1989 Children Act 1989 gives the local authority responsibility for providing appropriate care for a child when the person with parental responsibility is unable to do so. It's a voluntary agreement between the person with PR and the local authority. The person with PR is usually the mother as it is with nannynoo's grandson.

The fact it is a voluntary agreement means that the person with PR can ask for the return of their child at any point. The local authority sometimes refuses to return the child, if there are safeguarding issues, which is what seems to have happened here. The local authority should apply to the court for an order under Section 31 of the children act, if it refuses to return a child who is voluntarily looked after under section 20.

Section 20 has its uses, for example if a mother with post natal depression or a long term mental or physical health problem becomes temporarily unable to care for their child and there are no relatives or friends who can step in for a period of respite care. The law is clear, if a parents asks for the return of the child the la must comply or issue care proceedings under Section 31 so that the la then shares PR with the child's mother so that suitable plans can be made for the child's longer term care.

The Family Rights Group has a helpful website for family members. I worry that given the pressure la's face there is a danger that planning for children who are looked after under section 20 can drift. I do hope this is soon resolved for nannynoo and her grandson.

I hope it all gets sorted out for you soon nannynoo. Your GS obviously wants to be with you. I hope you both have your wish to be with each other granted.

I think they want an in depth assessment done so that the placement is a secure one for my GS but are also weighing it up with his needs and emotional wellbeing now

The SW originally said July as then he can settle in over the school holidays and start his new school in September but then because the foster carer went on holiday and my GS has spent time with me and it went so well she said they are looking to bring it forward now and she told my DD she wants him placed with me ASAP

I think now she knows ( or will do tomorrow when back from annual leave ) that he is pining for me , holding my hand and trying to leave the contact centre with me and the fact that he was SO upset when he had to go back to the foster carers house she will hopefully now treat it as URGENT

They CAN do the kinship care assessment IN LINE with the child being already placed with the kin and she said the assessment usually takes 12 weeks but was saying it would be BEFORE the proposed timeline of July now ie hopefully June so I reckon the next step will be to simply place him very soon and do the assessment while he is in place with me

My DD is in full agreement for me to have him but I don't know what 'order' he would be placed with me under as he is under a secion 20 at present but I think I would be a family and friends carer? Or a kinship carer waiting for the full assessment as so? Or even an emergency placement?

I'm not sure what it is called but I know it can be done!! lol

I wasn't a SW, but I was an EP and sometimes went to meetings with SWs, Doctors, Teachers etc to plan future changes for special children.
Usually changes of placement were only decided on after everyone had prepared their reports and there was a case conference, or a court hearing.
Could be that's why these things take so long.

nannynoo, that's a good question from night owl and one I keep wondering about. "Drift" is the social work term for what seems to be happening with your grandson. There is a plan but so far as you're aware, no clear timescale. You are so right, it isn't fair on your grandson and it isn't fair on you either. You have been patient and worked co-operatively with the sw team but maybe the time has come for you to ask for a timescale. Once that's been discussed it wouldn't be unreasonable to ask for it to be written down. The timescale should be tailored to your grandson's identified needs, not the needs of the sw department - this said by a retired sw who is sympathetic to the pressure departments are under. Hope all continues to go well for you and your grandson
I was sorry to read about your daughter's latest relapse, it's so tough on those who are alcohol dependent as well as those who love them

A there any kind of timescale for this nannynoo, if you don't mind me asking? I don't understand why there seems to be such a lack of urgency, especially since the stay your DGS had with you was so successful. I'm not surprised you are feeling so frustrated.

I am used to my DD's ups and downs , especially as it is still very early days

I was thinking surely SS do not want a child to suffer , they want to protect them from suffering and not be a part of it , it all makes logical sense for him to be here now as well as being better for his emotional health , so much better in fact! xx

Stay strong Nannynoo. Surely it can't be long now, especially as your DGS is making it clear what he wants.
Sorry to hear about your DD, tho, that must be very disappointing for you.

I hope it is not long - I sent an e-mail to the SW today so she gets it after annual leave on Wednesday , obviously telling her no one has been in touch from the assessment team and please can she hurry things along as I feel there is no need for my GS to be where he is any more and he is pining for me and wanting to be at my house...

On Saturday he kept holding my hand and saying ''walk'' then ''Nannys house'' and taking me over to the garden gate and opening it for us to go out to my house!!!

He kept pointing outside the contact centre saying ''Nannys house'' so he is clear about where HE wants to be which is where I want him to be and there is no need whatsoever for him NOT to be here soon

It is getting to the stage that ALL the preparation will be DONE and I will be here , waiting , one hundred precent ready , the house and garden fully ready too and the next thing we need is simply my GS here with his bags

He needs that too now as I am pining for him and he is pining for me and there is no reason whatsoever for him not to be here with me , happy and content and feeling secure again , where he belongs!! x

( My DD relapsed on Friday , didn't come to contact and was kicked out of rehab for the weekend! )

It can't be long now nannymoo, x

Still waiting , still preparing

I just need that phone call with the appointment made for my assessment but not heard anything as yet although was hoping to by now

Am just keeping on with the preparations , but I need it to be SOON

Everything will be ready soon , it really is like a pregnant woman waiting for her new baby to arrive lol but also frustrating with everything in place and nothing happening , yet xx

Sounds good Nannynoo - these things seem to take so long!
Still hoping and praying.