Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

commitment

(85 Posts)
ninathenana Mon 01-Jun-15 22:58:26

DD books time off herself if we give her plenty of notice. Other GP' s live abroad so no help there.

Ana Mon 01-Jun-15 22:15:54

I agree, ginny.

ginny Mon 01-Jun-15 22:12:34

Oh dear. This is why , even though family, some sort of agreement should be drawn up and agreed as far as child care is concerned. I can see that a sudden plans to take a holiday can cause problems but in general I do feel that parents must take responsibility for sorting child care and not expect others to alter their lives to suit them.

Penstemmon Mon 01-Jun-15 22:01:18

I care for my 4 DGCs as a commitment. I look after two DGCs before school , one all day and all four after school 2 x weekly. If DH and I want a holiday we try to give as much notice as possible and DDs understand that we are likely to take holidays. One DD is lucky as she has two other sets of grandparents & step grandparents nearby to help out with sufficient notice. Other DD is a teacher so cannot take time off in term time..we try to minimise being away in term time but cannot guarantee this. She books her girls into extra before/after school clubs or, if it is only a couple of days can usually find a friend to have them. As I only have the little one all day ion two days it is not too complicated to sort. I guess it all depends on how the arrangement is set up. Communication makes all the difference! Seems a bit thoughtless not to give a bit more notice!

etheltbags1 Mon 01-Jun-15 21:31:09

jane, SIL has problems getting time off he ahs to ask weeks in advance. I refer to him as SIL although he is DD partner, its easier to type SIL and MIL than partners mother etc.

Jane10 Mon 01-Jun-15 21:24:04

Is there a SIL to share the care for his kids?

etheltbags1 Mon 01-Jun-15 21:21:32

part of the problem is, as well as lack of notice, there isn't anyone else to childmind so the MIL is effectively putting my DD out of a job as her holiday entitlement will run out and theres no way she can afford private childcare. I rally do think that grandparents who childmind should put themselves last for the few years it takes for the little ones to grow up to school age.
Also DD would have to have childcare from about 7am to about 6pm as she has almost a 2 hour commute both ways. I just wish I could help out it s so frustrating.

Jane10 Mon 01-Jun-15 21:20:30

Hard to say ethel. Some grandparents want to make the most of their lives and some people have much more than one holiday a year. However, I reckon that if you have committed to babysitting/childcare you should stick to what you have actually agreed. Booking spur of the moment hols seems a bit inconsiderate under the circumstances though. I don't suppose anyone thought you'd be so seriously unwell :best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley! Its up to your DD to organise cover-you concentrate on getting better flowers

numberplease Mon 01-Jun-15 21:16:26

Ethel, I have been child minder to several of our grandchildren. Holidays were always when we wanted them to be, but we had to inform the parents well in advance, usually a few months, so that they could arrange to be off work themselves. We couldn`t just up and go though, as your daughter`s MIL seems to be doing, it wouldn`t have been fair.

etheltbags1 Mon 01-Jun-15 21:08:46

My DD is so distressed because her MIL who shares childminding with me has suddenly booked a holiday for 2 weeks time and as I cant look after DGD due to my heath, she has to take a week off work. The other gran had already had a week and plans two more weeks later in the year.
Normally I would lose some work (my work is very flexi) and look after DGD extra hours but I cant now. This raises a question. Should grandparents be totally committed to the childminding. My late MIL never had holidays unless her DD and SIL were on holiday and able to look after the children themselves.
as I looked after DGD several extra weeks last year to accommodate the other gran, I expected her to take time off work to do extra childminding to help out when I am off work but it seems that she just wants extra holidays regardless of who she inconveniences. After all how many holidays can a couple have in a year, most people have only one.
Would other gnetters sacrifice holidays to babysit.