There have been sleepless nights , many tears , IMMENSE stress , worry , pain , more pain , more worry , more sleepless nights and in it all I just kept plodding on , step by step dealing with EVERY emotion which came along re SS , the foster carer difficulties , my DD's problems and eratic nature of her illness , being given him for the 6 GLORIOUS days followed by the then heightened pain of separation again for BOTH of us , so feeling my GS's pain too , the not understanding the whole process SS wise but hoping something could be done .... oooo just realised no more contact centre visits for ME as such as being there with my GS for the short 2 hours but being WATCHED and everything I said noted was STILL difficult as have NEVER been in that situation before and it is hard to relax 100% then and fully ENJOY HIM 100% which I can do at home
It has basically been an emotional roller coaster but I have grown so much and become stronger in so many ways , yet will be so good to put this all BEHIND me as they were dark days in many ways
and I would like to FORGET them when I have the JOY again in my life
I cannot even describe how difficult it all was but it shows even pigeon steps forward are indeed steps forward and all those steps ADD UP!!!